Article Discussion: Bat Mitzvah Battles With My Atheist Husband

Why is the girl being lifted up like that. Is she getting married?

While reading I could feel the tension of the situation. It’s not an uncommon dilemma as many families feel that by not spening more, they are somehow “cheating” their son or daughter. I think its nice that your family was able to help with the music and photogrpahy. I know personally that invitations alone can cost over $500. With Bar/Bat Mitzvah becoming as big or bigger than weddings in terms of $ spent, its hard to scale that down for your child, when others in the area are going “all out”. I encourage other by telling them that more emphasis should be put on the spiritual and personal importance, rather than how big or elaborate the party was. This Bat Mitzvah sounded wonderful and memorable. I am glad to have been able to read about a very real situation and the highs and lows of having a child become a Bat Mitzvah. (Mine still have a little while)

@joyce – when I grew up my bat mitzvah party was in the basement with hotdogs and hamburgers. The adults had a few more fancy things, all made by my mother and friends. It is not gosh to have family to the house. For my son’s bar mitzvah, he did not want it at a synagogue and he had it on a sunday morning at Camp Ramah and we had a barbecue lunch after. We spent about $2000 in all, which included making our own siddurs.