It is IMPORTANT to communicate

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May 5, 2011 at 1:41 pm #5770

Lucille

My Father Dr. Hollander was a non practicing Roman Catholic, his wife is Jewish.  They live in Manhattan, I live in Texas.  When he became gravely ill a few weeks ago my Father’s wife did not tell me about the custom of burial within 24 hours, that morning prior to his death, when we spoke.
Because I did not know, I missed his funeral and I’m upset.  He is buried in a cemetery supposedly exclusively for those of the Jewish faith, Riverside in New Jersey, so I can, in the future, visit and pay my respects.
But I feel as if I didn’t matter enough to be told what was going to take place, and that makes me sad.
I think that for the important events in life: birth, confirmation, marriage, death, that families should take the time to reach out and talk, particularly if it affects others in the family.

May 5, 2011 at 5:45 pm #5771

Lucille

I think Judaism is a  rich complex tapestry of heritage and belief.  As I began reading of some of the differences, I found myself continuing to read more and to go to different sites to learn.  Over the past few weeks I’ve studied and learned some basics and it is helping me to understand the process and customs.

  Communication is the key to solid interfaith families and relationships.  If you have a Jewish background or were raised in a Jewish family, you may not realize that others may not know all that you do.  Reach out and share, particularly in difficult times.

September 2, 2011 at 2:18 am #6084

Shannon booth

In Feburay of 2011 I lost my soulmate . He was Jewish I am not. We were not married but had been together for over 13 years  living together for last 3 years  I always felt part of his family until his death.  He has 2 daughters one who is very orthodox. At the funeral I sat a few seats away from his daughters but felt miles away.  At the shiva i could not sit with family and was never introduced  to anyone who attended. I was also not mentioned in their father’s obituary  . And after 7  days of sitting shiva they  came to the condo I shared with their father and removed all is personal belongings. This was devastating to say the least. I am not sure if had anything to do with the fact  that I  am not Jewish. But it hurt me deeply. They were my connection to their father.  I will  never understand their behavior.

October 18, 2011 at 9:47 pm #6216

shannon–
that’s really sad –there is no excuse for that kind of behavior. I am VERY jewish and that is no excuse for unkind, unthinking acts. They should have acknowledged you/included you/asked if you wanted to be part of teh ritual and shiva. May you find comfort as you mourn.
ellen

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