Jewish Girlfriend

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This topic has 3 voices, contains 3 replies, and was last updated by  Charlotte Dentist 1157 days ago.

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January 24, 2011 at 1:05 pm #5430

Tclynch

  I’m new to the board and posted this elsewhere, but it looks like it should have been here….

So, here is the deal. My girlfriend (she is 45, I’m 48) is Jewish, I am not. I’m not atheist (though, she thought I was and was ok with it), I just don’t belong to an organized religion as I have my own point of view. (the man with the white beard..nah, Jesus might have been wise, but not divine). I DO think “God” is part of everything. Me, you, the trees, other planets, it’s all part of “God”.
I do go to a Buddhist temple. I consider Buddhism NOT to be a religion (though it does have aspects of religion) as it doesnt really say anything about “God”. I have been to a Conservative (girlfriend is conservative, btw) and Reform Jewish temple a few times. I have also been reading about Judaism as I thought I should know about it and want our relationship to work out.
She has said to me on a couple of occasions that she was glad and fine with me not being Jewish, which I find….interesting. Haven’t asked her why, to be honest. What I have read about Judaism has been good so far. I like that it’s open to discussion, fairly liberal in thought…. I am attracted to the Reform part of Judaism.
I was brought up with really, no guidance in religion by my family. I did my own research, but never thought about Judaism. Had I’d looked at it…I might already have converted, I don’t know. My girlfriend has brought it to my attention by just being Jewish.
However, my girlfriend’s statement makes me…. afraid (?) to pursue this any further. She does have three children and I’ve said it’s cool with me that they be raised Jewish. I support that and have thought about my Buddhist practice in the home. I have an area where I meditate and (though I haven’t told her, yet) I realize that I will not have that when we are together. I just don’t want to confuse her kids. She’s been reluctant to share in the traditions (lighting the candles, etc) with me. She thought I wasn’t interested and I have recently told her that, really I feel a bit left out.
Guess I’m just looking for an opinion.

January 31, 2011 at 6:17 pm #5442

Elizabeth Aronson

Hi,

I wanted to comment about what you said about your girlfriend being reluctant to share Jewish traditions with you. As a Jewish woman, I was raised to believe that it is wrong to share information about my faith with a non-Jewish person unless the non-Jewish person approached me with questions. In other words the non-Jewish person had to show interest in learning about Judaism before I could tell them about it. This belief is not done to isolate the Jewish person, it is done to show respect to the other person’s faith. Hope this helps.

February 1, 2011 at 1:34 am #5444

Tclynch

Thanks, Elizabeth. I did wonder about it. I have recently told her that I felt left out and that I would like for her to be comfortable sharing her religion/ beliefs with me. Maybe that will do some good. I’m going to give it a bit and see.
 In the meantime, I am talking to a Reform Rabbi about attending an introductory Judaism class. Not sure where all this will lead, but I’m trying to be very open minded.

May 28, 2011 at 8:09 pm #5817

Charlotte Dentist

Sounds like you’ve been approaching it the right way.  Keeping the children’s interests forefront is huge of you.  Any further updates?

Charlotte Dentist

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