Jewish Mother Trying Not to Be Overbearing

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This topic has 1 voice, contains 2 replies, and was last updated by  Phx Mom 1364 days ago.

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October 16, 2010 at 7:22 pm #5125

Phx Mom

My only child (Reform Jew) is marrying a Catholic with 2 children.  She and her children will be Catholic; any subequent children with my son will be raised Jewish.  When they first became serious, my son told me she was non-practicing (so I was holding out a hope she’d convert.)  Turns out that wasn’t the case.  She’d moved and hadn’t chosen a church yet.  In the meantime, my two grandchildren-to-be (aged 3 1/2 and a month) will be baptized.  (Another question: Do I buy them a gift, and if so, how can I choose one I’ll be comfortable with?)
She didn’t know much about Judaism, and I’ve told her thus-and-such, but lately I’ve found myself to be overbearing.  She’s probably being too polite to tell me.  She really is a wonderful woman, but there are times–particularly on Shabbat–that it really disturbs me that she’s not Jewish.  My son’s adopting these kids.  If he couldn’t have any biologically, the Jewish line would stop.  I saw a bat mitzvah, today, and the girl’s great-grandfather said a blessing over the Torah.  I’m almost 60, so I’ll never see this, but I felt I had the interfaith situation in hand, and now I feel it’s crashing down around me.  Advice?   

October 26, 2010 at 3:24 pm #5163

Beth

I’ll bet you are doing just fine. Your intentions are good, and it sounds to me like your future daughter-in-law knows that. I am a Protestant who married into a conservative Jewish family. Though I have my ups and downs with my mother-in-law, and I know that she wishes her son would have married a Jewish woman, we are finding our way by being especially generous with patience and understanding.

Judaism can be overwhelming to a person who did not grow up with it, so I would just encourage you to continue to be as patient and supportive as you have been. She may never convert, but if you welcome her into your family and your faith, you never know what might happen. Best of luck!

October 28, 2010 at 7:31 pm #5177

Phx Mom

Thank you, Beth.  You sound like a wonderful woman, and I’m sure your in-laws are thrilled you joined their family!

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