Key Topics For Discussion

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This topic has 1 voice, contains 0 replies, and was last updated by  Chana 1120 days ago.

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September 7, 2011 at 4:22 pm #6100

Chana

Hi Everyone,

I recently came across this website and am so happy that there are sources of information such as this.

I am a jewish female in my late twenties. I grew up in Toronto in a jewish neighbourhood in a single parent family with a mother that was gay (she was never really open about it.) I never went to hebrew school and never had a bat mitzvah. I’ve always considered learning to read hebrew and having a bat mitzvah but it’s not something that is truly important to me. I self identify as jewish but don’t keep kosher and only really go to synagogue on Yom Kippur. In the past, I dated a guy who was conservative and turned modern orthodox. I decided that I wasn’t prepared to live my life wearing a shadel and skirts. Thus, with some major religious differences we parted ways.

I started dating a non-jewish guy one year ago. I had never dated non-jews because I was brought up to marry within the faith. However, my boyfriend was just such an amazing person that I continued seeing him and thought I had a full understanding of what I was getting into. My mother was supportive because she saw that he made me happy and frankly she looks around the seder table an 50% of the people aren’t jewish anyways. During the course of the last year, my father died. My father chose to be cremated and I was not comfortable following jew conversative laws about cremation. My family rallied around me and we found a reform rabbi to hold a memorial service for me since I was the only one technically sitting shiva. Following my father’s death, I decided to observe shloshim in a way that was meaningful to me and attend shul more regularly that I had in my entire life.

My comments are meant to paint a picutre of my jewish identity. My boyfirend and I are getting to the point of discussing marriage. He is from the United Church and neither of us are interested in conversion. I feel strongly about ensuring my kids have a jewish identity but am trying to determine what that means. I’m comfortable celebrating Christian holidays but don’t know how I feel about going to church. I feel the same way about church as I do about shul- I’d rather be in the kitchen and at home making sure that everything is set up for entertaining.

Is there anything I can read that will direct me to key topics of discussion with a non-jewish partner? Can anyone suggest topics/specific items they wished they discussed before they got married? I saw a posting about Yours, Mine and Ours classes. Any other ideas?

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