Me a Jew – Him and Muslim..Help!

HomeDiscussionsInterfaith MarriageMe a Jew – Him and Muslim..Help!

This topic has 4 voices, contains 5 replies, and was last updated by  irfanovsky 1183 days ago.

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
Author Posts
Author Posts
July 24, 2011 at 5:41 pm #5982

jaimert

Hello All,

My name is Jaime and I am 23 years old. My mom is Jewish and my dad was catholic before he converted to Judaism before he married my mother. I grew up in a small town and never really practiced Judaism. I respect all religions, but was never interested in being religious myself. I am currently in a common-law relationship with my boyfriend of 4 years, Sam. Sam is Muslim and quite religious, although not extreme. He grew up in the middle-east and was surrounded by religion for the most part of his life.  He comes from an amazing family who I have traveled to meet and visit three time. They are amazing people and I feel very welcome and loved by them. Sam is living with me in Toronto and is currently working on getting Canadian citizenship as he currently only has a Student visa. As we just celebrated our 4 year anniversary, we are getting more and more serious and we know that we want to be together forever.

We have been looking forward to a future wedding and children for some time now. We are planning on having a mixed tradition Wedding (maybe 2 -  one in Canada one in Dubai). Sam has always told me that he wants our children raised as Muslims. As I am not religious by any means, I am completely fine with the kids being Muslims because I know how much that means to him and I know that I can still easily instill my values into my children regardless of their faith.

The problem is that recently as we have been talking more and more about our future, Sam is now convinced that raising happy (non-confused) children would be very difficult if I (as the mother) was not also a Muslim. That being said, he has been trying to convince me to convert to Islam in order to have the strongest, most united family possible. Although I respect Islam, I have absolutely no interest in converting. He is trying very hard to get me to read and learn about the religion as he thinks all it would do would make me a better person and a better mother and wife in the future. He loves me for who I am, but considering the future, he thinks it would be best if I convert. I did some reading and research, but I am still not interested in converting…nor am I interested in any other man so I really do want this to work.

Since he has asked me to convert, he is very set in his ways and he really thinks this is best for the long run. I believe in my heart that we can have a future regardless if I convert or not. I am happy being non-religious and I am fine with the kids being Muslims and learning all religious knowledge from Daddy. I really do not want to convert but I feel very pressured now to do so. How can I make this work? And how can I convince him that me staying as a non-practicing Jew will not make for confused children.

And advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Jaime

July 25, 2011 at 6:14 pm #5989

EJ

Jaime — Sam knows you’re OK raising any children as Muslims, he knows you’ve read and researched Islam as he requested…and he’s still pushing you to convert to Islam even though you’ve told him you don’t want to?  Is Sam someone who must always get his way?  Marriage — with or without children, with or without differing religions — involves compromise.  Is Sam someone who can compromise? 

July 26, 2011 at 8:24 pm #5991

mandie

Hello Jamie,
                You really remind me of myself at 23 ..I am married to a Sunnis Muslim who also is here on a student visa…think twice:) Living with someone is one thing …when married.. it’s so different u really see the true them..As you two get older he is going to get deeper in Islam and as he does you will not have that oneness unless you convert.If I were u…find out ur passion in religion ,study in them.Then u will know ur true ID…and then u will truly know what u want in ur future.I have many friends who married Muslim  and the issues is once married their focus is not them anymore they become last .1st Islam,2st work,3rd child,4th Islam family”mom,dad,sis.,brothers and cousins .. then YOU! You can talk to them about,but that is how it is.Hold to ur heart and share a little and give all to GOD.This is a  big decision in ur life…don’t feel pressured..remember God gives us choices,he never pressures us into joining him..he shows us with love…no motive..just pure love…not because of what we do or look or what we can do …Just because…now that’s love!

jaimert wrote:
Hello All,

My name is Jaime and I am 23 years old. My mom is Jewish and my dad was catholic before he converted to Judaism before he married my mother. I grew up in a small town and never really practiced Judaism. I respect all religions, but was never interested in being religious myself. I am currently in a common-law relationship with my boyfriend of 4 years, Sam. Sam is Muslim and quite religious, although not extreme. He grew up in the middle-east and was surrounded by religion for the most part of his life.  He comes from an amazing family who I have traveled to meet and visit three time. They are amazing people and I feel very welcome and loved by them. Sam is living with me in Toronto and is currently working on getting Canadian citizenship as he currently only has a Student visa. As we just celebrated our 4 year anniversary, we are getting more and more serious and we know that we want to be together forever.

We have been looking forward to a future wedding and children for some time now. We are planning on having a mixed tradition Wedding (maybe 2 -  one in Canada one in Dubai). Sam has always told me that he wants our children raised as Muslims. As I am not religious by any means, I am completely fine with the kids being Muslims because I know how much that means to him and I know that I can still easily instill my values into my children regardless of their faith.

The problem is that recently as we have been talking more and more about our future, Sam is now convinced that raising happy (non-confused) children would be very difficult if I (as the mother) was not also a Muslim. That being said, he has been trying to convince me to convert to Islam in order to have the strongest, most united family possible. Although I respect Islam, I have absolutely no interest in converting. He is trying very hard to get me to read and learn about the religion as he thinks all it would do would make me a better person and a better mother and wife in the future. He loves me for who I am, but considering the future, he thinks it would be best if I convert. I did some reading and research, but I am still not interested in converting…nor am I interested in any other man so I really do want this to work.

Since he has asked me to convert, he is very set in his ways and he really thinks this is best for the long run. I believe in my heart that we can have a future regardless if I convert or not. I am happy being non-religious and I am fine with the kids being Muslims and learning all religious knowledge from Daddy. I really do not want to convert but I feel very pressured now to do so. How can I make this work? And how can I convince him that me staying as a non-practicing Jew will not make for confused children.

And advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Jaime

July 28, 2011 at 4:00 am #5994

Phx Mom

As someone whose Jewish son is married to a Catholic woman, I would’ve never asked her to convert.  
I hate to say this, but it does not bode well relationship-wise to have anyone pressuring you to convert.  

August 6, 2011 at 9:08 am #6013

nufc

Mandie, very good point on “God gives us choices,he never pressures us into joining him..he shows us with love…no motive..just pure love…not because of what we do or look or what we can do …Just because…now that’s love!”

As a brought up Buddhist, I married a Muslim too. Prior to our marriage, my parents had made me aware of the challenges that I will face. At that time, I assure my parents and my wife, it will be alright. Things starts to change when we had our first child, my in-law start interfering; repeatedly reminding my wife about her not been able to achieve salvation if she doesn’t bring me up as a Muslim.

I did take classes about Islam and it does widen my mind about it teachings. Like all religion, Islam teaches followers to be good human beings. I sure don’t agree abt “Non-Muslim will not enter heaven”, in-law picks on me for not praying and constantly inflicting fear in the family (eg: God will take away my life anytime).

These are a few issues that you might face, my wife(she has been great and very understanding) and I are trying to work it out. Might need to get some counseling, I will not turn this to a broken family for my child.

We were much happier before the in-law moved in.

September 30, 2011 at 3:55 am #6164

irfanovsky

I do not think Muslims can tolerate non-muslims.
If you marry a muslim you must convert to Muslim.
Why don’t you discuss this earlier?
Muslim in the only religion that deny interfaith marriage strictly.

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
Reply To: Me a Jew – Him and Muslim..Help!
Your information:






<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>