Announcing InterfaithFamily/Your Community!

We’re excited to announce that we’re growing and expanding! We just sent out this press release — let us know what you think!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: Edmund Case, edc@interfaithfamily.com, (617) 581-6805

InterfaithFamily Announces Major Expansion of InterfaithFamily/Your Community Initiative
Successful Chicago Model Opening in San Francisco and Philadelphia;
Building a National Network of Local Community Programs to Engage Interfaith Families Jewishly

(Boston, MA) InterfaithFamily (IFF) today announced a major expansion of its InterfaithFamily/Your Community initiative to coordinate and provide programs aimed at engaging interfaith families Jewishly in local communities across North America.

“The 2011 New York Jewish Community Study highlighted continuing high rates of intermarriage and the relative disengagement of interfaith families in Jewish life. But the Study also found that interfaith families that do engage Jewishly are comparable in attitudes and behaviors to in-married families,” said Edmund Case, IFF’s CEO and founder. “The key question is how to engage them in Jewish life and community. We are convinced that the InterfaithFamily/Your Community initiative is the single best opportunity the Jewish community has to do so.”

“There is growing agreement that engaging interfaith families Jewishly requires three elements: a world class web platform, inclusivity training of Jewish professionals and lay leaders, and a range of programs and services for interfaith families in local communities. That was the conclusion of a consortium of national funders in 2008, and of a Task Force of the UJA-Federation of New York in 2011,” said Mamie Kanfer Stewart, IFF Board Chair.

The five-part InterfaithFamily/Your Community model is designed to provide exactly what is needed, by placing staff in local communities to publicize and connect interfaith families to local community resources and enhance their experience finding Jewish clergy for weddings and life cycle events, train Jewish professionals and organizations to welcome people in interfaith relationships, help new couples learn how to talk about and have religious traditions in their lives together, and help people in interfaith relationships learn how – and why – to live Jewishly.

Launched in July 2011, the InterfaithFamily/Chicago pilot of the InterfaithFamily/Your Community initiative had a strong first year. “Participants in trainings report that they better understand the needs of interfaith families and learned new ways to be welcoming; 88% of responding workshop participants report they gained understanding of how Judaism can fit into their interfaith families; and 92% of responding class participants say they felt more knowledgeable about Judaism, with 77% saying their practices changed to include such things as signing up for PJ Library, having a Shabbat dinner and visiting synagogues,” said Rabbi Ari Moffic, Director of InterfaithFamily/Chicago.

Building on the success of the pilot, the IFF Board of Directors has approved a new Strategic Plan that calls for bringing the InterfaithFamily/Your Community model to nine communities in four years. In September 2012, Stacie Garnett-Cook joined IFF in a new position, National Director of InterfaithFamily/Your Community, to mange growth of the initiative.

InterfaithFamily/San Francisco launched in October 2012, with a grant from, and a major fundraising effort led by, the Jewish Community Federation of San Francisco, the Peninsula, Marin, and Sonoma Counties. Rebecca Goodman joined IFF as Director of InterfaithFamily/San Francisco.

InterfaithFamily/Philadelphia also launched in October 2012. InterFaithways, a local organization, is merging into InterfaithFamily, with a grant and fundraising assistance from the Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia. Wendy Armon will be Director of InterfaithFamily/Philadelphia.

Case will highlight the InterfaithFamily/Your Community initiative when he co-leads a program at the Jewish Federation of North America’s General Assembly on November 12 titled Engaging Interfaith Families: Programs and Tactics for Increased Community Involvement.

“Our goal is to build a national organization of networked programs for interfaith families in local communities across North America, leveraging our content, Network platform, officiation referral service, and trainings, programs, workshops and classes,” Case said. “Until now, no one has been able to provide this essential missing link in the field of engaging interfaith families Jewishly.”

About InterfaithFamily
IFF is the central web address for people in interfaith relationships interested in Jewish life, with over 640,000 annual unique visitors, growing at 35% a year, accessing both extensive helpful content and connections through IFF’s officiation referral service and its Network listings and social networking functionality. Since 2010, IFF has provided resources and trainings for clergy, synagogue staff, and religious school and preschool directors and teachers. IFF’s surveys are an excellent source of information on what attracts interfaith families to Jewish organizations. Visit www.interfaithfamily.com/yourcommunity for more information on the InterfaithFamily/Your Community initiative.

The New Normal: Rediscovering Religion

Who else is watching The New Normal on Tuesday nights (or whenever you get to it on your DVRs)? The show follows a gay couple who will soon become fathers, the single mother who is their surrogate, and her young daughter. There are other characters thrown in for color and tension, but they’re the heart of the show.

The gay couple is also interfaith. In the first few episodes, we’ve learned that Bryan (played by Andrew Rannells, best known as Tony-nominated Elder Price from Broadway’s The Book of Mormon) is a Christian, and likely lapsed. Last week, we found out that he was raised Catholic and was rather devout — an altar boy and all. From the pilot, it’s been clear that Bryan’s partner David (Justin Bartha, Dark Horse, Holy Rollers, The Hangover II) is a nice, Jewish doctor. And not practicing (religion; he is a practicing gynecologist). Though he is stereotypically close with his mother…

In last week’s episode, David and Bryan were introduced to the concept of Godparents. As neither currently have spiritual lives themselves, they decided their child ought to have someone to turn to with spiritual questions. The hunt began. (Spoiler alert!) By the end of the episode, Bryan had gone to church, talked with a priest, and had encouraged David to go back to synagogue. We also learned that David had not been to temple since he had moved to New York as an undergrad. Feeling alone his freshman year, he took comfort going to temple, surrounded by the familiar rituals and tunes, until he got his bearings in the city. But once he got into med school, he no longer had time for prayer, “except praying I didn’t kill someone.” He hadn’t been back since.

David and Bryan aren’t so unique. Many interfaith couples (heck, many in-married couples too) let religion fall by the side until children come into the picture. At that point, future or new parents might start questioning, like these characters have, how they’ll teach their kids to be ethical and have a greater belief. Others return to religion because they remember happy memories (holidays, food, songs, family and friends coming together for celebrations) and want their children to have them too. Whatever the reason, it’s helpful to discuss how this might look for you and your (future, hypothetical) family before kids appear on the scene. Bryan and David have started this conversation somewhere in the 2nd trimester of surrogate Goldie’s pregnancy. Not bad. (Goldie is played by Georgia King — known mostly for her work in the U.K.) If you’re looking for ideas on how to start conversations, click on the Learning menu at the top of our site and pick a topic that interests you. Happy reading!

Where Are Your Kinsmen?

I recently officiated a wedding in which there were only a few Jewish people there (and I was one of them). I had met the now bride a few years ago, when she came to me to study about Judaism. She had grown up with Christianity and as an adult was searching. She had always been interested in Judaism, loved the rituals and traditions, and felt she might be home with the people Israel. After a year of regular study, she went to the mikveh and formally cast her lot with the Jewish people. She lit the Sabbath candles and even taught in the early childhood room in the congregation where I was the educator.

A couple of years later, this Jew fell in love with someone who was raised Christian. She came to me again to officiate their wedding. I met with this couple several times to talk about the meaning of the Jewish wedding rituals and to unpack the Jewish wedding liturgy. This couple participated in InterfaithFamily’s Love and Religion — Online workshop. They were able to share with other couples about how they would weave Judaism into their lives and involve their Christian family in holidays and traditions. They had a small wedding of mostly family and almost everyone there were raised with Christianity.

When I stood with them under the chuppah and explained to all present about what they were going to see and hear, my fear was that it would feel anthropological in nature. That people were observing a Jewish wedding but would not be able to participate in it themselves. I was wrong. All present understood the meaning of the open chuppah being a symbol of their home, open to friends and relatives with unconditional hospitality. All understood the symbol of sharing a sip of sweet wine to be a symbol of the beauty of creation and the beauty of what this couple was creating. All understood the seven wedding blessings to be about affirming the potential in human beings to combine love, wisdom and courage and to forge a life of joy and gratitude. All understood the breaking of the glass to be about the fragility of life and finding joy within sorrow. All understood that Judaism had become meaningful not only to the bride, but to her supportive partner and that it could be accessible and meaningful to their whole family.

What I hope for this couple is that they find a Jewish community that can also support them. I have directed them to Jewish communal institutions that provide fellowship and classes for couples just like them. I will encourage them to participate in an Introduction to Judaism class sponsored by Reform Jewish Chicago. But it will be friends and Jewish lay and professional leaders who will help this couple sustain and strengthen their Jewish home and Jewish involvement.

I was meeting with Anita Silvert (who wears many hats in Chicago — she co-chairs Limmud Chicago (look for me there, details to come!) as well as directs a new program in Chicago called Chai Mitzvah). She was telling me today of her hopes to start a cohort of around eight people who are either in an interfaith relationship (either the Jewish partner or partner who isn’t Jewish) or people touched by interfaith families personally. This group would meet once a month to study Jewish texts and each would participate in social justice work throughout the year (serving a cause or charity of interest). Lastly, each would take on a new spiritual practice, guided by a mentor. As she was telling me about the program, she taught me a Rashi teaching from Numbers 5:8, “If a man has no kinsman to whom restitution can be made, the amount repaid shall go to the Lord for the priest…” Rashi, a medeival rabbi and important scholar, asks how an Israelite could possibly have no kinsmen, no family, no people. He concludes that this verse must be talking about the ger, a convert.

I could not believe how fitting it was that Anita shared this teaching with me exactly when I was thinking about this wedding of a Jew by choice. We need to make sure that all in the community have people, have kinsmen. That is our sacred and holy task.

If you would like more information about either our Love and Religion — Online workshop for interfaith couples or the Chai Mitzvah program, email me at arim@interfaithfamily.com.