New flicks with celebs in interfaith relationships and from interfaith backgrounds, plus their baby news!Go To Pop Culture
If you havenât heard about Thanksgivukkah yet, itâs time to crawl out from under that rock. Iâll help by filling you in on everything you missed. This is a roundup of recent news as well as holiday ideas and resources for celebrating Thanksgivukkah, the Thanksgiving/Hanukkah mega-holiday that you wonât live to see again. Now get cooking!
Thanksgivukkah is Coming âan interfaith family guide, from InterfaithFamily
ThanksgivukkahBoston.com âthe Thanksgivukkah micro site from JewishBoston.com, with contributions from InterfaithFamily
Thanksgivukkah âthe official Facebook page
Thanksgivukkah âthe official Twitter account
Convergence of Hanukkah, Thanksgiving unleashes creativity âThe Boston Globe
6 Crazy Things for Thanksgivukkah âThe Forward
Celebrating Thanksgivukkah, a Once-in-a-Lifetime Holiday âReform Judaism
Thanksgivukkah Food Face-off âThe Forward
Why I Will Not Be Celebrating âThanksgivukkahâ âHuffington Post
Thanksgivukkah: A Once-in-a-Lifetime Holiday âThe URJâs Pinterest page
A Thanksgivukkah Manifesto âHuffington Post
Carve the Turkey and Pass the Latkes, as Holidays Converge âThe New York Times
Eight Giving Rituals for Your Family: Making the Most of ThanksgivukkahÂ âeJewishPhilanthropy
Hanukkah Gift Guide: Thanksgivukkah GoodiesÂ âKveller
Let’s Celebrate the Convergence of Thanksgiving and HanukkahÂ âThe Forward
Thanksgivukkah 101Â âChicago Tribune
Thereâs lots more out there about Thanksgivukkah. Share what you’ve found below!
The following post is by guest blogger Jodi Rosenfeld from the Philadelphia area.
I sometimes feel like I am one of many circus performers juggling a variety of hats while the audience watches to see if I drop oneâbut the circus is my synagogue and the audience is my fellow congregants. My goal is not to make anyone laugh or watch in awe but simply to maintain the peace while moving the show forward in preparation for the next act.
At my small, century-old, Conservative synagogue in the western suburbs of Philadelphia, I was the facilitator of the Interfaith Work Group, a group that met for many months for the purpose of clarifying and then codifying our synagogueâs policy on membership for interfaith couples and families. This means I had to wear and juggle my many hats at once. And for that, I had to learn about balance.
The Interfaith Work Group was born of a conflict. The conflict began when several interfaith families were preparing for their childrenâs Bânai Mitzvah and the parent who was not Jewish realized that, according to Conservative tradition, he or she was not welcome to stand on the bimah. Even the father who was not Jewish but whoâd served on several committees, was an active part of the community and had studied Hebrew alongside his son, could not stand at the Torah with his wife when she said the blessings before and after the Torah reading.
Then there was an aufruf for a young woman and her fiancĂ© who was not Jewish and, even though her family had been active members of the synagogue for 50 years, not only could they not be married by our rabbi, but they couldnât come up on the bimah to receive a blessing. These interfaith families felt slighted at best, rejected and insulted at worst. So the Rabbi changed the rules; without crossing the lines of Halacha, she declared that the bimah was accessible to allâthat the parent (who was not Jewish) of the Bar Mitzvah boy could stand at the Torah and that the young couple could receive the blessing on the bimah.
And then the backlash began. Some of the elders and more traditional long-time members of the congregation felt slighted at best, rejected and insulted at worst. For decades, they had poured themselves into âthe way weâve always done things.â They felt that these changes were a watering-down of Judaism. Some got angry. Some left.
The Interfaith Work Group was a small cross-section of all of the above constituents that came together to get the facts straight (from the Rabbi about issues of ritual inclusion and Halacha; and from the Board about issues of governance), and then to clearly articulate these policies through the synagogueâs website.
Was I the ârightâ person, with all those hats in the air, to lead this group? I am a psychologist, which means I am trained to observe everyoneâs feelings, even those with whom I may disagree. I am a Reform Jew by upbringing, which means I am accustomed to inclusion. I am the granddaughter of an observant, Conservative Jewish man, whose tallis and tefillin I wear each week, which means he is with me, in my synagogue, even today. I am a Jew married to a Jew, which means Iâm one of them. And Iâm an activist who fights discrimination in all forms, which means Iâm one of them. I am a proponent of change yet one who wants to preserve the past.
My learning about balance came from my utter failure at facilitating the Work Group. The facilitator needed to be impartial, to lead the group without taking sides. Despite my many hats, I wanted to forge ahead with change. I wanted both Jews and those who are not Jewish but who are part of Jewish families to feel fully included in all aspects of our community. I wanted all of the young, prospective interfaith families in Chester County to flock to us, to think, âNow this is the kind of Conservative synagogue I want to be a part of.â I wasnât particularly balanced.
What Iâve learned is that if we want to evolve as a community, we all need to be empathic toward one another. Interfaith families want more inclusion of family members who are not Jewish not because they want to water down tradition, but because they want to be more fully a part of our rich Jewish heritage. Long-timers donât resist these changes because they want interfaith families to leave, but because they have worked so hard to help the Jewish people thrive and they are afraid that change means loss. Change always means loss. But it also means gain.
Only by listening to one another and allowing ourselves to wear one anotherâs hats for a moment can we truly appreciate that this change is a process of growth for us all. The reality is that we all need to be jugglersâwe need to understand one anotherâs many motivations, question the familiar and approach one another with kindness in order to truly facilitate the evolution of our Jewish population.
The product of our labor can be found here.
Is your synagogue struggling with policy issues and halacha? Do you have a policy document? Share your policies and experiences with our community. We can all learn from each other.