When my husband read an early draft of this essay, he asked, "Why doesn't her partner have to support our daughter? After all, they agreed to raise children as Jews." What does it mean to raise a Jewish child?
A great way for Jewish professionals and volunteers who work with and provide programming for people in interfaith relationships to locate resources and trainings to build more welcome into their Jewish communities; connect with and learn from each other; and publicize and enhance their programs and services.
Most people hold dear books that they read as a child. Me, I can barely recall anything I read prior to turning 15 (and those books that I do remember, like the Encyclopedia Brown and Choose Your Own Adventure series, hold no special place in my heart). So “Judy Blume” has long been just another author name to me: one of several popular children’s authors, banished to the reserve stacks of my mind’s library.
Only recently have I realized that Judy Blume has been one of the most daring authors of the last 40 years. According to a new Q&A with Moment magazine, she “holds the dubious honor of being the second-most-censored author of the past 15 years, according to the American Library Association.” Her ”most frequently challenged” novel (according to the ALA), Forever, tells the story of a high school senior named Katherine who had premarital sex and enjoyed it. (Maybe if it weren’t banned when I were a kid, I would have a sharper memory of Blume.)
I find a lot of great stuff on The Jew and the Carrot, a blog about Jews and food, like this blurb about Natalie Portman’s new project. She’s going to star with Irrfan Khan in Mira Nair’s next movie, Kosher Vegetarian. The title alone sends me, and it’s a movie about a relationship between a Gujurati man and a Jewish woman, so we’re sure to review it here. Maybe we’ll get hits from people trying to find recipes. (If you came here looking for vegan knish recipes, just comment and I’ll hook you up.) Plus, I think Natalie Portman is awesome. Continue reading →
In Friday’s post, I said Bob Dylan “grew up as a non-participating Jew.”
Leave it to my friend, the sage of Jewish celebrity trivia, Nate Bloom, to correct my error. Turns out Dylan was quite a bit more Jewishly involved than I thought, according to this email message from Bloom:
Bob’s parents were practicing Jews. A rabbi was brought in at his parents’ expense to the cold “Iron Range” to tutor him for his bar mitzvah. He had a bar mitzvah. He was sent to Jewish summer camp in Wisconsin (Camp Herzl)Bob’s kids with his Jewish ex-wife were all bar/bat mitzvah–with one exception. That’s a lot more practicing than half of American Jews.
The one exception is a child he fathered with a black back-up singer, a religious Christian, he secretly married and stayed married to for a few years in the ’80s.
His Chabad thing, in terms of close contact, ended in the late ’80s–although each year he goes to a Chabad synagogue near where he is on Yom Kippur and goes to the service.
Bottom line on Bob’s beliefs: he is clearly somewhat obsessed by religion. Some people make a plausible case that he has never given up being a Christian–based on the songs he plays–etc. But that he got turned off to organized Christianity. The bottom line is that nobody will probably ever know–he’ll probably go to his grave keeping his innermost beliefs to himself. And I don’t think he will really care if a rabbi presides at his funeral–no matter what he thinks about Jesus on his deathbed.
Last night, both of HBO’s buzziest shows, The Sopranos and Entourage, included interfaith relationships as part of their storylines. And both were chock full of stereotypes.
One of the plotlines on last night’s ep of The Sopranos concerns Hesch (Jerry Adler), a retired Jewish record producer who has loaned money to Tony Soprano and his late father for decades. In the new episode, Tony forgets that he owes Hesch $200,000 for gambling losses; when Hesch demurely asks for the money, Tony starts resenting one of his oldest friends, calling him “Shylock” and making cracks about his Jewish obsession with money–as opposed to Tony himself, who instead of politely asking for repayment of loans, beats you up and steals your stuff to remind you that you’re in arrears.
For the first time in the show’s storied run, we get a glimpse into Hesch’s personal life. His son, Eli, is apparently a religious Jew, and Hesch’s girlfriend is a much younger black woman. To its credit, the show treats Hesch and his girlfriend’s relationship matter-of-factly. No one even notes the racial or age difference between the two. And as much as Tony unfairly stereotypes Hesch, Hesch does the same with Tony–he says that most of the time, Italians are alright, but when you get on their bad side, they’re like animals. Continue reading →
Some random articles I’ve collected over the last week or two:
Black Book, Paul Verhoeven’s (Basic Instinct, Total Recall) new film about the Dutch Resistance during World War II, premieres today in limited release. An interfaith relationship is actually at the center of the story–although I doubt many readers would be able to relate to this particular romance between a tough-minded Jewish spy and a gentle Nazi officer. Judging from his previous films, that premise will probably come off as even more offensive on screen, which is to say, I am looking forward to seeing this movie. I don’t expect, however, to be in the slightest bit enlightened about the dynamics of real interfaith relationships.
The ongoing fracas over conversion standards in Israel continues, according to The (New York) Jewish Week. The latest development is that the main pluralist conversion school has stopped sending converts to the official Orthodox conversion courts as a protests against the courts’ unreasonable standards. The head of the school, Benny Ish-Shalom, is calling for Prime Minister Ehud Olmert to change the conversion system, but I’m guessing he has other issues on his mind at that moment (and given his political vulnerability, I doubt he’d be willing to take on the Orthodox establishment that runs the conversion courts). The loser, as it always seems to be in these disputes, is not the courts or the school, but potential converts.
To pay tribute to his late father’s Jewish heritage, an astronaut from an interfaith home brought a teddy bear into space. The bear was a replica of Refugee, a teddy bear donated to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum by Holocaust survivor Sophie Turner-Zaretsky.
Astronaut Mark Polansky, whose mother is a native Hawaiian, asked the museum for some mementoes that would simultaneously pay tribute to his father Irving, who died in 2001, and bring awareness to the genocide in Darfur, Sudan. The museum also gave him a photo of a child refugee from Darfur. The bear made its 5.3-million-mile journey on the Discovery mission in December, and Turner-Zaretsky, now 80 and living in New York, followed the shuttle’s progress every step of the way.
In case you didn’t realize it, an interfaith love story between an Israeli Jew and a Palestinian won an Oscar for best short film on Sunday.
Called West Bank Story, the 21-minute spoof of West Side Story is focused on two competing falafel stands in the West Bank, one run by a Jewish family, one run by a Palestinian family. But the children of each families–David, a handsome Israeli soldier, and Fatima, an Arab beauty–fall in love. After each stand is burned down, the two lovers persuade each side to join hands and sing together.
Certainly not the most realistic story, but it does demonstrate the way interfaith relationships can be fraught with political complications–and the way interfaith relationships can help open people’s minds to unfamiliar cultures. For more on the making of the film, see this JTA story.
In other news, our own Ed Case will be presenting a seminar at the Interfaith Family Weekend and Conference in Philadelphia. The conference runs from Friday, March 23 to Sunday, March 25, and Case will be presenting a workshop on “Family Dynamics: Parenting in an Interfaith Home.” The weekend and conference is being presented by Faithways, the interfaith family support network of Jewish Family and Children’s Service of Greater Philadelphia. Most impressively, 42 (!) synagogues in the Philadelphia area are participating in the event. For more on the conference, see http://www.jfcsphil.org/events.asp.
We talked about Lacey Schwartz and David Matthews, two children of black-Jewish relationships, a couple weeks ago, but I only just realized that both were featured as part of an entire issue on black Jews in American Jewish Life magazine. Six of the 10 black Jews featured are children of interfaith relationships, including: Rashida Jones, who plays Karen on The Office, and is the daughter of musical legend Quincy Jones; Rain Pryor, the daughter of Richard Pryor and a moderately successful stand-up comedian herself; Raymond Roker, the editor of the hip alternative magazine URB; and Mischa Van Schet, a Dutch soap opera star who is now living as an Orthodox Jew in New York.
While their stories are unquestionably fascinating, they also serve as confirmation of the observation that mothers have a much stronger influence over their child’s religious upbringing than fathers. In all of the aforementioned features, the mother was Jewish and the child now identifies as Jewish. The only exception is Matthews, whose mother was Jewish but left her father at a young age; today being Jewish is only a small piece of his identity.
Compare their experiences to that of Alexandra Rosenfeld, who was crowned Miss Europe in October. A Frenchwoman, she was raised by a Jewish father and a Catholic mother. While she supports some Jewish causes, she does not practice Judaism.
There’s no denying that Jewish moms in interfaith relationships raise their children Jewish more frequently than non-Jewish moms. But IFF supports any parent–mom or dad–in an interfaith relationship who wants to raise their child Jewish, and we support more programming targeting both non-Jewish mothers AND non-Jewish fathers.
I was told recently that I’m a reality TV junkie, and while contrary to popular belief, I don’t profess to love so called reality shows–I’m finding myself into the History Channel and PBS lately! BUT I can’t seem to help getting sucked into the “Celebreality” type shows on channels like VH1. My newest indulgence has been the truly silly “I Love New York”, which for those of you as sucked in as I am, have followed this spin-off from the equally silly Flavor of Love series starring the rapper Flavor Flav. For those of you with better things to do with your time, I’ll give a re-cap: the show is based around an African-American woman named Tiffany, better known to the world as “Miss New York” and it follows her in a dating-like game of suitors who live in a house with her and compete for her love, with each week an elimination round and 2 men getting the boot. Final goal – to be the last man standing and win New York’s heart. Of course the cast of characters is perfectly scripted, with men pushing their own agendas (like passing out their mix tapes!) and others looking for their 15 minutes of fame while having nervous breakdowns. The contestants range from the ones you find yourself oddly rooting for to the ones you know the producers just keep on the show to make good TV–and overwhelmingly the cast of men is African-American as well–with one notable exception: My new favorite character, Mr. Boston. Continue reading →
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