I have to confess: I expected not to like Our Haggadah, the new book by Cokie and Steve Roberts.
But I did. I like it.
Iâ€™m doing a lot of confessing about the Robertses. Last week I confessed to envying all of the publicity they are able to garner for their book, and some regret because they are known for observing both of their religions in their home, exposing their children (now grown) to both religions, and not to raising children to identify with one religion or the other. As I said then, we donâ€™t say the Robertsâ€™ approach is wrong, or bad, itâ€™s just not the approach that we recommend to interfaith couples.
Having now read the book, I was wrong to suggest that for the Robertses, the seder is not exclusive to Judaism. It is clear from Cokie Robertsâ€™ introduction that she completely respects the seder as a Jewish ritual. She explicitly says she is not trying in way to â€śChristianizeâ€ť the seder. In fact, itâ€™s clear that the Robertses started conducting their seders at her insistence, which happens with many other interfaith couples and is something we want to applaud. Including partners who are not Jewish, and others, in experiencing the seder is of course something that InterfaithFamily.com also applauds.
I also want to credit Steve Roberts for saying that â€śmany young Jews are marrying outside their faith, but at the same time, they are eager to preserve and nourish their ties to Judaism. Cokie and I have long argued that organized Jewry needs to embrace these couples, not reject them, and that is clearly beginning to happen.â€ť
Weâ€™re happy to see that the Robertses mention a wonderful article written for us by Rabbi Rayzel Raphael, about adding an artichoke to the seder plate, as well as a wonderful article by Jim Keen about his experience as a non-Jewish father asked to lead a seder.
We still have differences in our approach to interfaith family life, but I donâ€™t have any reservations about recommending Our Haggadah to interfaith couples. I share in the Roberts’ concluding hope that their Haggadah will inspire interfaith couples to celebrate their own â€śgreat heritage.â€ť
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