Thanksgivukkah Roundup

ThanksgivukkahBoston

ThanksgivukkahBoston.com's holiday logo

If you haven’t heard about Thanksgivukkah yet, it’s time to crawl out from under that rock. I’ll help by filling you in on everything you missed. This is a roundup of recent news as well as holiday ideas and resources for celebrating Thanksgivukkah, the Thanksgiving/Hanukkah mega-holiday that you won’t live to see again. Now get cooking!

Thanksgivukkah is Coming –an interfaith family guide, from InterfaithFamily

ThanksgivukkahBoston.com –the Thanksgivukkah micro site from JewishBoston.com, with contributions from InterfaithFamily

Thanksgivukkah –the official Facebook page

Thanksgivukkah –the official Twitter account

How To Celebrate Thanksgivukkah, The Best Holiday Of All Time -Buzzfeed

Convergence of Hanukkah, Thanksgiving unleashes creativity –The Boston Globe

6 Crazy Things for Thanksgivukkah –The Forward

Everything You Need to Know About Thanksgivukkah –TIME

Celebrating Thanksgivukkah, a Once-in-a-Lifetime Holiday –Reform Judaism

Thanksgivukkah Food Face-off –The Forward

Why I Will Not Be Celebrating ‘Thanksgivukkah’ –Huffington Post

Thanksgivukkah: A Once-in-a-Lifetime Holiday –The URJ’s Pinterest page

A Thanksgivukkah Manifesto –Huffington Post

Carve the Turkey and Pass the Latkes, as Holidays Converge –The New York Times

Eight Giving Rituals for Your Family: Making the Most of Thanksgivukkah –eJewishPhilanthropy

Hanukkah Gift Guide: Thanksgivukkah Goodies –Kveller

Let’s Celebrate the Convergence of Thanksgiving and Hanukkah –The Forward

Thanksgivukkah 101 –Chicago Tribune

There’s lots more out there about Thanksgivukkah. Share what you’ve found below!

The Doors Are Open

Open doorThis first blog for InterfaithFamily/Boston is about doors opening and lives filled with new beginnings because we welcome each other. There was a time not long ago when almost all doors were shut on intermarried couples. As you can see in this photo, there is a picture of a door. This is not just any door. It’s not a stock photo either, but the actual door to my actual office in Newton, MA. I wanted to begin my blog by showing you the door to my office. It’s open and I guarantee you that it will remain open 95 percent of the time. And on the rare occasion that it might be closed, it is still a glass door, where one can easily knock and see and be seen.

Of course you are probably not surprised that this is not a stock photo as it’s not a fancy picture and it’s not a fancy office for that matter (not that there is anything wrong with it. It’s a lovely office. I am very happy to be here). The reason I put this photo in is not so much for the door itself but rather for the sign that our COO Heather made for me, which greeted me on my first day as director of our newest Your Community, InterfaithFamily/Boston last week, “Welcome Josh.”

I smiled when I arrived. This is exactly what the staff of IFF does: We welcome people. I’m lucky to be located within the InterfaithFamily Headquarters, and to be joining the national staff to bring InterfaithFamily/Boston to the community in which they have made their home. This organization has a very clear purpose and a very important mitzvah that has been role modeled since the days when father Abraham (really the first Jew by choice) ran to welcome three strangers (that turned out to be angels) and did all he could to help make his guests feel more comfortable. Abe washed their feet and ran around being the host with the most, checking in with Sarah, who was making dinner and getting in on the hospitable action. It was a family affair indeed. Everyone took part. It’s a big deal in Judaism (and many cultures) when guests come to your door.

And it’s funny, because not that much has changed when you think about what makes a good host (or a good guest for that matter). It is all about appreciation. Let me take it up a notch. We are actually acknowledging that there is a holiness in each other by wanting to help the other. For what is holiness when you get right down to it? Holiness is something special, something apart from the ordinary, something…sacred. You do not need to put on a robe or wave around an object or build an ark to get in touch with what is sacred. There is a beauty inside us that is the best of us, and it is in everyone. It is not even hard to find. You are important. You are loved. You count. You matter. And your family matters. Everyone should feel included. The alternative is to be well…left out, a stranger in a strange land. No, no, no…that will not do. We know what that is like. We remember. We have been taught for thousands of years to welcome people, to help people and be grateful for what we have and to share with others. It is what we do. It is the love of life that makes Judaism so special.

If you are from a religion or culture that has some clear differences of background and ritual from your significant other, that can cause some challenges. We know it and we see it. It’s not easy to be intermarried sometimes. I myself am intermarried and have been a Jewish educator for 13 years. There are questions to be answered and it can be overwhelming trying to please family members and adhere to the demands of a tribe that constantly asks, “What will the others think?” Much more to come on that topic and how we deal with that question in future blog posts.

But in the meantime, if you live in the Boston area, and are exploring what it means to be in a family of interfaith, I invite you to come visit me or call me or send me an email. In fact, part of my job includes leaving my office and meeting you wherever you are. (How cool is that!?) This is both metaphoric and for convenience. Where you are at, I will come to you. It’s my job so please don’t be shy. My door is open. I believe that there will come a day when many more doors will be open as will hearts and minds. And it all starts here. Welcome.

INTERFAITHFAMILY ANNOUNCES NEW PRESIDENT

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
October 24, 2013

Contact: Edmund Case, CEO of InterfaithFamily
e: edc@interfaithfamily.com
p: 617.581.6805

Organization Adds Senior-level Capacity to Team 

NEWTON, Mass. —InterfaithFamily announced today that CEO Edmund Case and the Board of Directors selected Jodi Bromberg, Esq., to serve as the new President of InterfaithFamily, the premier resource for interfaith families exploring Jewish life.

Jodi headshotJodi was chosen following a rigorous search led by a group that included current and past board chairs, a professional human resources consultant, and staff. “We’re delighted that Jodi has joined InterfaithFamily,” said Lynda Schwartz, Chair of the Board of Directors. “Jodi is a very well-rounded candidate with strong professional skills and intellectual horsepower, a great communicator, and has demonstrated ability to help a small organization thrive in change and ambiguity.”

Prior to joining InterfaithFamily, Jodi ran her own two-person law firm in the Philadelphia area, where she specialized in working with non-profit organizations, including creating and teaching the course “Law for Non-profit Organizations” at Temple University’s Fox School of Business. Previously, Jodi was an attorney at two large Philadelphia law firms, and before becoming a lawyer, Jodi had a successful career in the publishing industry, as the editorial director and executive editor of two national publishing companies. Jodi received her law degree from the Temple University Beasley School of Law and holds a B.A. in Communication from the University of Pennsylvania.

“We believe that Jodi’s presence will help us build on the progress we’ve made in being recognized as the leading national resource for interfaith families, and professionals and lay leaders who want to reach this important part of the fabric of North American Jewry,” said CEO Edmund Case. “She represents the face of America’s growing number of interfaith families.”

About InterfaithFamily

InterfaithFamily is the premier resource supporting interfaith couples exploring Jewish life and inclusive Jewish communities. We offer educational content at interfaithfamily.com; connections to welcoming organizations, professionals and programs; resources and trainings for organizations, clergy and other program providers; and our InterfaithFamily/Your Community initiative, providing coordinated comprehensive offerings in local communities, including Boston, Chicago, Philadelphia and the San Francisco Bay Area.

INTERFAITHFAMILY NAMED ONE OF AMERICA’S STANDARD-BEARING INNOVATIVE JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
October 24, 2013

Contact: Edmund Case, CEO of InterfaithFamily
e: edc@interfaithfamily.com
p: 617.581.6805

Ninth Annual Slingshot Guide Highlights the Best of the Thriving Jewish Nonprofit World

Slingshot coverNEWTON, Mass. – InterfaithFamily has been named one of 17 “standard bearer” organizations in the ninth annual Slingshot Guide. The standard bearers are listed alongside the larger group of 50 innovative up and coming Jewish organizations. The Guide has become a go-to resource for volunteers, activists and donors looking for new opportunities and projects that, through their innovative nature, will ensure the Jewish community remains relevant and thriving. Slingshot 2013-14 was released today.

Selected from among hundreds of finalists reviewed by 83 professionals with expertise in grant-making and Jewish communal life, the Guide explained that “InterfaithFamily leads the conversation and demands a place for interfaith families in Jewish communal life.” Organizations included in this year’s Guide were evaluated on their innovative approach, the impact they have in their work, the leadership they have in their sector, and their effectiveness at achieving results. InterfaithFamily is proud to be among the 17 standard bearers honored this year for meeting those standards.

 

The organizations included in the Guide are driving the future of Jewish life and engagement by motivating new audiences to participate in their work and responding to the needs of individuals and communities – both within and beyond the Jewish community – as never before.

“Being included in Slingshot 2013-14 for the ninth consecutive year—every year it has been published—continues to be strong validation for the work we do to serve interfaith families,” said Edmund Case, CEO of InterfaithFamily. “Efforts to engage interfaith families in Jewish life still remain significantly underfunded. The recognition of the importance of InterfaithFamily’s work in the Guide is critical, because of the positive influence it has on the next generation of Jewish funders.”

Added Will Schneider, Executive Director of Slingshot, which publishes the Guide each year, “The standard bearer organizations that we highlight in the Slingshot Guide are an important part of the foundation of the Jewish community working to better the world and achieve remarkable change in the realms of community engagement, social justice impact, and religious and spiritual life. The Slingshot Guide is not just a book listing organizations doing interesting things; it’s a resource relied upon by doers and donors alike. It’s the framework for a community that through the collaboration that results from inclusion in the Guide, becomes something significantly more effective than what each of the individual organizations can achieve on their own.”

Being listed in the Guide is often a critical step for selected organizations to attain much needed additional funding and to expand the reach of their work. Selected organizations are eligible for grants from the Slingshot Fund, a peer-giving network of young donors with an eye for identifying, highlighting and advancing causes that resonate the most with the next generation of philanthropists. Furthermore, the Guide is a frequently used resource for donors seeking to support organizations transforming the world in novel and interesting ways.

IFF SlingshotAbout the Slingshot Guide

The Slingshot Guide, now in its ninth year, was created by a team of young funders as a guidebook to help funders of all ages diversify their giving portfolios to include the most innovative and effective organizations, programs and projects in North America. The Guide contains information about each organization’s origin, mission, strategy, impact and budget, as well as details about its unique character. The Slingshot Guide has proven to be a catalyst for next generation funding and offers a telling snapshot of shifting trends in North America’s Jewish community – and how nonprofits are meeting new needs and reaching new audiences. The book, published annually, is available in hard copy and as a free download at slingshotfund.org.

About InterfaithFamily

InterfaithFamily is the premier resource supporting interfaith couples exploring Jewish life and inclusive Jewish communities. We offer educational content at interfaithfamily.com; connections to welcoming organizations, professionals and programs; resources and trainings for organizations, clergy and other program providers; and our InterfaithFamily/Your Community initiative, providing coordinated comprehensive offerings in local communities, including Boston, Chicago, Philadelphia and the San Francisco Bay Area.

Schusterman Foundation Announces New #MakeItHappen Microgrant Initiative

#MakeItHappen logoAn exciting opportunity came across my inbox the other day that I wanted to tell you about—in the hopes that you’ll take advantage of it for your own community.

Our friends at the Charles and Lynn Schusterman Family Foundation announced that they just launched their newest microgrant campaign–the #MakeItHappen initiative—inviting individuals to submit inspiring ideas to create unique and engaging Jewish experiences in their communities, for themselves and their peers.  Here are the details:

  • Up to 50 ideas will be selected to receive a micro grant of up to $1,000
  • 5 ideas could receive up to $5,000.
  • Submit between now and December 6, 2013; event must take place no later than May 31, 2014—but the earlier you apply, the better! The Foundation is selecting recipients weekly, beginning the week of October 29.
  • Lots of ideas? Multiple submissions are permitted.

The idea is to enable specific experiences and events to happen that would not have otherwise occurred. A central part of the experience should include a Jewish element, whether it’s cultural, educational, spiritual or social.

We know that you are already thinking of a great idea! So #MakeItHappen and submit now at makeithappen.schusterman.org!

Where I Stand on The PEW Study

I saw it first on Facebook, then my inbox and finally it was brought up at an “Interfaith Café” I attended last week. The Jewish community is abuzz with A Portrait of Jewish Americans: Findings from a Pew Research Center Survey of U.S. Jews. The first article I read on this study was quite inflammatory. Some of their “highlights” included:

Thirty-two percent of Jews born after 1980—the so-called millennial generation—identify as Jews of no religion, compared to 19% of baby boomers and just 7% of Jews born before 1927. Overall, 22% of US Jews describe themselves as having no religion, meaning they are much less connected to Jewish organizations and much less likely to be raising their children Jewish.

The analytical side of my brain wanted to know what questions were asked, how they were asked and how the Pew Research Center defined the first layer of the question, “of Jews.” Thankfully, there was a sidebar defining who is a Jew.

Diagram

This diagram is from PewForum.org

I appreciate their stance, to “cast the net widely” such that if anyone answered yes to any of three statements, then they were considered Jewish for purposes of participating in the rest of the survey:

(a) that their religion is Jewish, or

(b) that aside from religion they consider themselves to be Jewish or partially Jewish, or

(c) that they were raised Jewish or had at least one Jewish parent, even if they do not consider themselves Jewish today

With that information, I was not surprised by the results. Liberal Jewish congregational professionals have long been talking about the decline in religion and what that means for the sustainability of their congregation.

I feel it especially in California where I would say many people (Jewish and not) are “not religious.” People connect with heritage, tradition and culture. This was especially true in our last Love and Religion workshop. It became very hard for spouses/partners who were raised in a faith tradition other than Judaism to understand their partner’s Jewish identity, when that identity was void of religion.

Rather than looking at the results as Wertheimer describes, “[a] very grim portrait of the health of the American Jewish population in terms of their Jewish identification,” I prefer to look at it as an opportunity to embrace other aspects of Judaism—beyond sitting in services and praying. I also feel this is an amazing opportunity for our interfaith families, in that there are so many ways they can connect with Judaism!

The Bay Area is rich with non-religious options for Jewish involvement and community. EcoJews of the Bay, G-dcast, PJ Library, The Contemporary Jewish Museum and Wilderness Torah are just some of the non-religious institutions that one can connect with in the Bay Area.

The future of Judaism is not doomed. This is an opportunity! Benji Lovitt’s response sheds light on another way of interpreting the data. I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

How to Be at Home in the Minority

Straddling two worlds, feeling like an outsider, taking on the identity of your family but still retaining your own—these are all difficult positions to be in, but familiar to many. In a recent blog post on Huffington Post, Rev. Eleanor Harrison Bregman talks about being a minister married to a Jew and raising Jewish children. She is often in the minority, but as she points out, she is just as uncomfortable when she is among other Christians, because of the lack respect for other religions she sometimes witnesses.

The author was recently at the Chautauqua Institute in western New York state. She found herself among many religious leaders, discussing topics of inclusiveness. There, post yoga-session, she found herself getting a very spiritual reminder of “what is possible when we can be confidently rooted in our own traditions enough to reach out, embrace, and learn from ‘the other.’”

You can read her blog post here.

InterfaithFamily’s New Board Chair

Lynda Schwartz

New Board Chair, Lynda Schwartz

When I was asked to take the role of Board Chair for InterfaithFamily, the business executive in me weighed costs, benefits, risks and rewards. Ultimately, however, I gladly accepted, knowing that the work of InterfaithFamily is well worth an investment of time, energy and resources.

I’ve known the InterfaithFamily organization almost from its inception, first as a user of its resources, later on its Advisory Board, and most recently, as a Board member and Treasurer. I’ve long felt that Ed Case and the IFF management team are incredibly nimble, creative and committed. The team has a relentless focus on getting things done and an aggressive plan to broaden and deepen InterfaithFamily’s impact.

InterfaithFamily and its Board are deeply indebted to our immediate past Board Chair, Mamie Kanfer Stewart. Her five years of leadership have been a period of incredible growth, increasing organizational maturity and continued innovation. Mamie has always impressed me with her strategic thinking, her insightful approach and personal warmth.  Working with the Board and IFF’s management, she recently led us in developing a robust strategic plan that provides a clear road map for IFF’s future. I am conscious that she leaves a well-run organization, and very big shoes to fill.

After reflection, however, I realized that my investment in IFF is more personal. I remember too well the teary times when my Jewish husband and I used to struggle to reconcile our personal goals and objectives in a way that honored our traditions and faiths. When we married, I was not willing to convert to Judaism, but I was willing to learn, to study and to support my husband’s observance.

Now, I am helping our twins grow from bris and baby naming to b’nai mitzvah (this coming spring!) and hopefully, Jewish adulthood. Over time, my family and I have become fully engaged in our local synagogue community. I still have so much to learn, but I think our family is a joy and a “net positive” for the Jewish community.

Intermarriage is a reality in the Jewish world, affecting every community, and extending beyond federation, denomination or geographic boundaries. In the same way, IFF is reaching across boundaries to help interfaith families more fully engage in exploration of Judaism.

For me, the investment proposition is clear: I want all families like mine to have the resources, support and welcome that were such a help to mine. Each family walks its own path, and I am glad that IFF inspires families to greater engagement with Judaism and the Jewish community from wherever they start. It is work of immense value, and as its new Board Chair, I am pleased to have a chance to play a greater part.

Mazel Tov Rabbi Moffic!

We at IFF are excited to share the news that Rabbi Ari Moffic, our director of InterfaithFamily/Chicago has just been named one of the 36 Under 36 by Oy!Chicago and the Jewish United Fund/Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Chicago‘s Young Leadership Division. Oy!Chicago is an outreach website for Chicago 20- and 30-somethings. The community-minded organization shares ideas, conversations and events in Chicago. Their second annual 36 Under 36 list highlights 36 people in the Chicago Jewish community who are improving the world.

OyChicago

Rabbi Ari Moffic is an energetic member of our team at InterfaithFamily who reaches out to the Jewish community in Chicago to train, welcome and inform about the issues facing interfaith families and couples. We’re proud of the work she does, and this honor is well deserved.

To learn more about InterfaithFamily/Chicago, click here. Access our resources for parents in Chicago and learn about our Love and Religion workshop for seriously dating or newly married couples.

‘Til Faith Do Us Part

Right around Passover, there was some prominent coverage in the secular press about intermarriage due to the publication of Naomi Schaefer Riley’s book, ‘Til Faith Do Us Part and reviews in the Wall Street Journal (where she has been a religion writer) and the New York Times.

I’ve ordered the book but haven’t had a chance to read it yet. I thought Riley’s suggestion that religious communities “strike a delicate balance” in their approach to interfaith families, as described in the Wall Street Journal review, was itself fairly balanced:

On the one hand, they must welcome them if they wish to keep up a connection with the believing spouse and his or her children. But they must also provide a strong sense of community and a gracious but confident expression of their own religious worldview. “Regularly engaging nonmember spouses in conversations about the faith is important,” she writes, noting that such engagement, if done with a soft touch, may bring the spouse into the fold. Finally, religious communities must focus more on reaching young adults, giving them a venue where they can engage their religious faith in a new way and meet a “soul mate” who draws them closer to the fold rather than leading them away from it.

I’m concerned about the emphasis on the last point — that interfaith marriage leads young adults “away from the fold.” According to the Wall Street Journal review, Riley says that questions about child-raising can “tear at the fabric of a marriage,” that interfaith families are on average less likely to be happy, that the partners lose steadiness of observance and belief, that children are more likely to reject their parents’ faiths, and that couples are more likely to divorce.

The divorce point makes me question the basis for Riley’s observations. Back in 2010, I wrote a blog post, Are Interfaith Marriages Really Failing Fast, about a story Riley wrote for the Washington Post. Here’s what I said back then:

My main complaint about the article is that it cites no compelling evidence whatsoever to support the thesis of the title that interfaith marriages are failing fast. It is a common perception, to be sure, that interfaith marriages fail at rates higher than same faith marriages, but I have never been able to find reliable evidence to that effect. In addition to citing a 1993 paper (but not any data in it comparing inter- and intra-faith divorce rates), Riley says that “According to calculations based on the American Religious Identification Survey of 2001, people who had been in mixed-religion marriages were three times more likely to be divorced or separated than those who were in same-religion marriages.” Who made the calculations? Are they published some place — and available to be scrutinized?

Susan Katz Miller, in her blog On Being Both, also finds Riley’s stance on intermarriage to be “strangely pessimistic” and finds her “gloom and doom” not supported by Riley’s own data.

I also question the basis of Riley’s observations because at InterfaithFamily we have published many narratives and heard from so many interfaith couples that they have resolved questions about child-raising, have children who learn to love Jewish practice, and who themselves strengthened observance and belief — and are quite happy in their marriage. People like the brother of Stanley Fish, author of the review in the New York Times, who describes the lengths which their father went to break up his brother’s relationship and concludes:

If the idea was to separate the two young people, it didn’t work. Shortly after Ron got to California, he sent Ann a plane ticket. When she arrived, they got married and have remained married to this day. She got a job at the university, took a class in Judaism and, much to my brother’s surprise, converted, although it took her a while to find a rabbi willing to give her the required course of instruction. Just the other day she remarked, “It was a hard club to get into.”

The New York Times review suggests that Riley isn’t against intermarriage — she’s in an interfaith and inter-racial marriage that has worked:

She just wants prospective interfaith couples to know that it is work, that love doesn’t conquer all, that “a rocky road may lie ahead of them” and that they “need to think in practical terms about their faith differences — how it will affect the way they spend their time, their money, and the way they want to raise their kids.” Her message is that if you don’t make the mistake of thinking it will be a bed of roses, you’ll have a better chance of its not being a bed of thorns.

That’s balanced advice, too — although again, I’m concerned that “bed of thorns” overdoes it.