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Zach Levy, the left-leaning son of Holocaust survivors, promises his mother on her deathbed that he will marry within the tribe and raise Jewish children. When he falls for Cleo Scott, an African American activist grappling with her own inherited trauma, he must reconcile his old vow to the family he loves with the present realty of the woman who may be his soul mate. A New York love story complicated by the legacies and modern tensions of Jewish-American and African-American history, Single Jewish Male Seeking Soul Mate, by Letty Cottin Pogrebin, explores what happens when the heart runs counter to politics, history and the compelling weight of tradition.
On September 10 at the Levin Ballroom at Brandeis University, InterfaithFamily is proud to be a co-sponsor of Faith, Race, Feminism and the Ties that Bind: Professor Anita Hill in Conversation with Letty Cottin Pogrebin with opening remarks from our own Rabbi Jillian Cameron, director of Interfaithfamily/Boston.
This event is a conversation that is set around the release of Cottin Pogrebinâs book, Single Jewish Male Seeking Soul Mate by Feminist Press. These two iconic feminists discuss the movementâs past, present and future, and the imprint of family history on identity and values.
We have two copies of this book to give away in conjunction with this exciting event. Enter to win by August 31 and please join us for this exciting event at the Levin Ballroom on the Brandeis campus. The event is free, but reservations are highly recommended.
If you havenât read Anita Diamantâs bestselling novel, The Red Tent, here is some extra incentive. Lifetime is launching what they call an âepic movie eventâÂ on December 7, starring Rebecca Ferguson, Minnie Driver, Morena Baccarin and Debra Winger based on the book. Even if it doesnât go on your summer reading list, here are five fun facts that will make watching it even more fun. Did you know that:
1) Â The book was a sleeper until Diamant got the idea to send doomed-to-be-shredded copies of the novel to rabbis who then used it in their teachings and made it a worldwide phenomenon?
2) Â Diamant used the first chapters of the book of Genesis as a launching pad for her creativity, based in the silence of the character of Dina who is said to have been raped in Genesis, Ch. 34?
3) Â Goddess worship in the novel is based in scholarship of the biblical period? In fact, even the Torah itself tells us of the matriarch, Rachel, taking off with the household idols.
4) Â The Red Tent purposely gets the birth order of the tribes wrong? The author plays throughout the novel with the ideas of storytelling and authorship, maintaining that women were absent from the construction of the Torah and, therefore, left out of the telling of our history.
5) Â Countless midwifery communities have named themselves, The Red Tent, after the novel?
And now a bit of explanation.
The Rent Tent was published in 1997 with limited success, and within a few years went from being unheard of to a bestseller. What turned it into a book group phenomenon? Anita Diamant was well-known long before the novel for those of us who help people create Jewish life-cycle rituals. She wrote several how-to Jewish books that are the first ones I recommend when someone is planning a Jewish wedding, baby naming or thinking about conversion (The New Jewish Wedding Book, The New Jewish Baby Book). But then Diamant wrote her first novel, The Red Tent, an imaginative telling of the life of the matriarchs in the book of Genesis. When the book wasnât finding great success, the author got an idea. She sent copies of the book to Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis, many of whom knew her earlier work well, and later to women ministers and independent booksellers. Leaders found that the book opened up a much needed conversation about women in our texts and historical silence. Before long, no book group was without its Red Tent month. It became a bestseller.
You donât have to know the story of Genesis to appreciate the book. But many readers have found that they want to crack open a Torah for the first time in eons to distinguish what is actually written in the Torah about the matriarchs of Genesis and what is Diamantâs creative retelling. She jumps off from the Genesis stories, only using them as a frame. But even the pieces she fabricated are largely based in research. Not only did she include details that come from traditional Jewish sources like the Midrash (see below), she based much of her story in research about the lives of women in the biblical period. She studied daily life in the region at that time, including ancient goddess worship, birthing rituals and midwifery, medicine and funeral practices.
The worship of gods and goddesses, for example, is rampant in her story which reflects what scholars know about near Eastern practice and is hinted at in the book of Genesis and the prophetic writings of the Torah. The matriarch, Sarah, is referred to as a priestess in The Red Tent, another gleaning from early feminist biblical scholarship. She gives names to women who are left unnamed in the Torah. She imagines that Dinah was following a tradition of being a midwife when the events of Genesis 34 unfold.
She once said of her novel, âDinah is one of the silent women of the Bible. Her silence intrigued me…gave me a window. Where there was silence, I created three-hundred pages.â [Cynthia Dettelbach, âEntering The Red Tent With Anita Diamant.â The Cleveland Jewish News 74, no. 2(1999): 4]Â In her version, women tell their own stories and, at times, are frustrated at hearing them mis-told by the men in the family. She goes as far as to insinuate that the âwritersâ of the biblical tales made mistakes because womenâs voices were not involved in the construction or transmission of the Torah.
Within Jewish circles, there has been some controversy stirred by the novel about who is âallowedâ to interpret and reinterpret Jewish texts. Diamant says she wrote a work of historical fiction, not midrash (a creative elaboration of the Torah, filling in the gaps in the Torah narratives), but still some argued that her work pretends to fit into that textual tradition dating back to the Rabbis of the 2nd-6th centuries BCE. Her response to one such opponent was that, âIt is my birthright. My audacity is the Jewish approach to ScriptureâŚEvery word of Torah has seven hundred faces of God and six hundred meanings. There is no one correct interpretation of Scripture as Jews have made up storiesâŚfor centuriesâ. [Joan Gross, âJacobâs Daughter Hits the Bigtime in 2001.â The Jewish News Weekly of Northern California 105, no. 13 (2001): 40.]
I donât normally read books written for middle schoolers, but I was in the childrenâs section of my local library picking up a book for my daughter the other day when I noticed a book with a bright yellow cover with a pretty Indian girl entitled My Basmati Bat Mitzvah, written by Paula J. Freedman, on display. I opened the book and started to read the summary on the inside cover:Â âFor Tara Feinstein, life with her Jewish-Indian-American family is like a bowl of spicy matzoh ball soup. Itâs a mix of cultures that is sometimes delicious, and sometimes confusing…â
I was hooked, and I immediately checked out the book. As someone who devotes my days to working with interfaith couples and families and advocating for a welcoming Jewish community, I couldnât wait to start reading.
And I wasnât disappointed. It was a lot of fun to read the story of Taraâs desi mispachaâa term that Tara describes in the book as a âHindi + Yiddish made up term meaning a family thatâs a little bit Indian and a little bit Jewish. Nicer than âHin-JewââŚâ I appreciated how the author depicted Taraâs struggles as she prepares to become a Bat Mitzvahâher questioning whether or not she believes in God; her worry that by celebrating becoming a Bat Mitzvah she will somehow be less Indian; her confusing relationship with her Catholic best friend who wants to be her boyfriend.
Taraâs Indian mother converted to Judaism years earlier, before marrying her father, but Tara still feels a deep connection to her Indian family and her Indian heritage. She deeply loved her mothersâ parents who lived in India and died several years earlier. She feels a special bond to her Nanaji (her motherâs father) and wants to be sure that celebrating her Bat Mitzvah wonât make her forget him. She adores Indian food, and though her mother doesnât cook, her fatherâwho grew up Jewish in Americaâmakes great Indian food. Tara loves to watch and act out scenes from Bollywood movies. And for good luck, she rubs the statue of Ganesha that sits on her dresser.
One particular scene in the book really struck me. When Tara realizes that a friend of hers has stolen a bracelet, Tara grabs the bracelet and goes to the store to return it. As sheâs reaching to put the bracelet back on the jewelry counter, sheâs stopped by a security guard, who thinks that Taraâs involved in the shoplifting. When she tells the security guard that her name is âTara Feinstein,â he looks at her skeptically and says to her: âNo, really.â
Thatâs what itâs constantly like for TaraâŚpeople making assumptions about her, and her Jewishness, based on how she looks, and on her motherâs (and thus her) background. And this is what itâs like for so many children from interfaith, inter-racial and/or inter-cultural homes. Fortunately for Tara, she comes to realize that connecting to her Judaism on a deeper level doesnât mean that she has to distance herself from her Indian heritage. As she says in her Bat Mitzvah speech: ââŚnow I know that inspiration can come from many different sources, and that having multicultural experiences can actually make you stronger and more accepting of different points of view.â She comes to see that âNanaji would really have liked my Bat Mitzvah…he was a very spiritual personâŚhe would have approved, as long as I did it with an open heart.â
When my children write book reports for school, they always have to tell whether they would recommend the book, and why or why not. Well, I can say that I would highly recommend My Basmati Bat Mitzvah. It was refreshing to read about a young woman coming of age and dealing with the multiple aspects of her identity, and realizing that she could be fully Jewish AND still honor her Indian cultural heritage (as she did by wearing a treasured sari from her motherâs family which was made into a dress for her Bat Mitzvah).
The book shows in a touching way not just the challenges, but also the blessings, of growing up in an interfaith, inter-cultural family. Itâs always said that kids need to see themselves reflected in the dolls they play with, the television and movies they watch, and the stories they read.Â Iâd imagine that a middle schooler, especially a girl, growing up in an interfaith, inter-racial or intercultural home would at least find some aspects of herself reflected in Tara.
If youâre a mom or dad in an interfaith home and you have a child in middle school, I suggest that you get My Basmati Bat Mitzvah for your child. Better yet, read it with your kid! Itâll give you a great opening to discuss complex issues of belonging and identity. If youâre raising your child as a Jew, you can discuss with them how they can still be one hundred percent Jewish even if one parent did not grow up (and may still not be) Jewish. And you can talk about how being Jewish and proudly celebrating your Jewish identity doesnât mean that you canât love and honor family members who arenât Jewish with a full heart or that you canât embrace aspects of what you inherited from your parent who did not grow up Jewish.
I have to return My Basmati Bat Mitzvah to the library soon, before itâs overdue. And when I get there, I may just go back to the childrenâs section to see what other great books I can find for myself.