Three Jewish Values to Teach Your Kids

  

sharing flowers

Ah, yes, it’s summer at last. Time, maybe, to wind down a little bit and contemplate some bigger-picture lessons that get lost in the shuffle during the school year. We talked to Rabbi Jillian Cameron of Newton’s InterfaithFamily, which supports interfaith families in embracing Jewish life, about three important Jewish values that kids should absorb as early as possible. Nothing big or daunting, just simple lessons to instill in everyday moments.

Compassion and respect

“We’re all created in the image of God,” says Cameron. “We’re each special and unique, but we’re also connected through a larger image of something greater, whether people look or act like us, or are different. We’re all worthy of respect.”

This can be tough for little kids to grasp: Why does one kid have two moms, and another has a mom and a dad? Why do some kids get to go to summer camp, and others can’t afford to go? Kids tend to define themselves by their visible differences, not by their unseen similarities, so they need some prompting.

Since this concept is abstract, Cameron recommends tying similarities to a real-life example through a story, like playing with a friend from a different country. “You have white skin and your friend has dark skin, but you both love ‘Despicable Me,’ right?” The more you can make those connections for your kids now, the less scary differences will be as they get older.

Shalom (peace)

Ah, peace. This can be elusive when your kids are bickering over who ate the last cookie, or who gets to sit by the window on the car ride to the beach, or who’s taller or…you name it.

In this case, Cameron recommends “going big.” Instead of begging your kids not to fight (ha!), try to help them think about peace on a larger scale.

“Get them talking: What does peace look like for you? When do you feel peaceful? Is it when you’re falling asleep? What makes you feel at peace? Is it living in a comfortable home or having toys to play with? How can you help create that for yourself, for your friends and for the whole world?”

Make them part of the big-picture solution, instead of admonishing them. If they realize how important peace is on a bigger scale, they might be more likely to think about how it applies to their own lives, too.

Tzedakah (charity)

It’s never too early to teach your kids the importance of charitable giving. While Jewish tradition holds that we should give 10 percent of our income to charity, kids don’t need to worry about that. At this stage, it’s more about seeing charity with their own eyes, like visiting a shelter to drop off toys or a soup kitchen and helping out.

Kids benefit from participating in these hands-on, real-world experiences far more than hearing about them. Offer your child experiences where he or she can see their impact firsthand.

“It’s not just about giving money. It’s about thinking of how to create a more just world,” Cameron says. “Instead of thinking about helping others in terms of financial giving, think about it as giving back a part of your life. There’s action involved in justice; we can’t rest on our laurels.”

The earlier your kids see that their actions can make a difference, the easier it will be to make giving back a habit.

Reprinted with permission from JewishBoston.com

Naming Our Past, Present & Future

  
Baby naming ceremony

Quinn receiving her Hebrew name

Giving your child a Hebrew name is a long-standing tradition in Judaism. Sometimes families have elaborate gatherings as part of a bris while others choose more intimate family ceremonies (we chose the latter). With our siblings and parents together, we could not help but reflect on the long journey to that moment over the last several years. We could not have persevered through it all without the love and support of those closest to us, which is why we asked that they share in this special moment. Thank you to each of these people for your unconditional love, generosity, kind words and most important, hope.

A naming ceremony for an interfaith family does not come without challenges, but we viewed it as an opportunity to foster understanding with those in our family who lovingly participated, and are not Jewish. And in all honesty, my family is not the most religious, so it also served as a nice refresher for them. A family friend who is a doctor and mohel (someone trained in both Jewish law and the surgical hygiene for performing a circumcision) performed the beautiful ceremony. She made sure there was plenty of opportunity to pause and ask questions about the topics we discussed and why certain traditions were important to us. We asked my brother and sister-in-law to be Quinn’s godparents. They will always be a big part of her life and in our absence, they would be there to help guide her through the learning process and discovering Judaism.

Jews of Central or Eastern European descent encourage the celebration of new life by the naming of children to honor loved ones who are no longer with us. Between both of our families, there are many loved ones we wish could have been there to share in the joy of this most wonderful occasion. Jewish tradition also teaches us the importance not to mourn their passing, rather to celebrate their lives. They will live on in our hearts and are never truly gone when we continue to tell their stories and talk about our special memories of them. Often, we recognize this honor by giving the child an English name that starts with the same letter as a late relative.

It is also customary to give a child a Hebrew name in addition to an English name. We gave Quinn the Hebrew name of Pelia (pay-lee-ah) Davi (dah-vee). Pelia means wonder or miracle and Davi means cherished. Both her arrival into this world and into our arms made her Hebrew name very fitting. She is named after my nana, Paula, and Kimberly’s nonnie, Domenica. By giving her this name, we are bridging the generations of the past and present and also blending her Jewish and Italian heritage. She will never know where she is going until she knows where she came from. Her great-grandmothers would have loved to have known her. In the years to come, we will be able to share many stories and memories about them with her. We hope she will embody many of the characteristics and qualities we loved about them and carry on their namesake.

We closed this memorable day by reading this special poem:

“We didn’t give you the gift of life,

But in our hearts we know.                                                                                          

The love we feel is deep and real,                                                                               

As if it had been so.                                                                                                     

For us to have each other,                                                                                         

Is like a dream come true!                                                                                           

No, we didn’t give you the gift of life,                                                                           

Life gave us the gift of you.”

-Unknown