When my husband read an early draft of this essay, he asked, "Why doesn't her partner have to support our daughter? After all, they agreed to raise children as Jews." What does it mean to raise a Jewish child?Go To Parenting
This is one of those small details that are important (at least to the brides
We are less than 4 weeks away from the big day…eek! We’re still working on a gazillion things but it has to get done and will get done. One thing we waited till the very end to work on was our first dance as a married couple. Procrastinating a dance that will be performed in front of a 100 people is never a good idea but fortunately we have the talents of an amazing choreographer to our rescue. He’s one of Arel’s groomsmen and best friend. He’s a phenomenal dancer and beyond creative. Arel really wanted to do a dance that would be memorable and I think what we have planned is certainly that. I can’t tell you what it is but I can say it will be super, there might be some veggies involved of the fungi persuasion, and possibly slow moving animals and a damsel in distress. I’m being serious. I can predict our older guests will not get it or think we’re absolutely nuts. We are going to do a bit of a slow traditional dance but to do only that would not fully reflect us as a couple. We first met dancing to hip hop and decided our first dance as a couple must have hip hop. Our first dance will be a mixture of dance and a skit mostly performed through dance….sounds crazy huh? Hopefully crazy fun. We’re going to follow the dance with the hora or maybe Zumba but most likely the hora! I’m a bit nervous about how we’re going to get the hora going with a mostly non-Jewish crowd. Any tips on how to smoothly initiate this dance with folks who have never done it before?
So anyhoo, watch us with our groomsmen/choreographer in the studio. He’ll talk a bit about the dance he created for us and more. And we added a little extra special something for you…a clip of our choreographer doing his dance thing. Ready to be wowed.
And here’s a little clip of him dancing
I know I’ve been ranting and whining about wedding invitations but now that they are over and done with, I wanted to take you back a few months to where I talked about the wedding dress.
There’s so much that goes into the dress. I mean this is ‘the’ dress that so many girls dream about, envisioning their day dressed in a to die for gown. To be honest, I never really thought about what dress I would wear, but when the day came to actually start thinking about it, I couldn’t believe how many options there were and how most of them did nothing for me. As much as I love sparkly things in everyday life (love glitter), I for some reason found it to be ghastly on a wedding gown. Who knew? I also found it disturbing the lack of options for a Conservative bride. And don’t even get me started on the ‘modest’ dresses that are out there. Seriously, it’s as if ‘modest’ is equated with lack of fashion sense and taste because dresses made for Conservative Jewish girls like me are just plain ugly. Blech. All I wanted was a beautiful dress that was simple and covered the arms. I want to be modest for the ceremony which means covering myself. I know many liberal Jews do not share the same opinion, but I’m naturally conservative and do not like showing my arms. It seems so risque but for this post you’ll see I’m wearing all strapless gowns because that’s what’s out there.
I did eventually find my dress love, the beautiful ‘Addie’ by Monique Lhullier. It really was pure love at first sight. It’s modern, simple, no bling, sequins, or sparkles and it has 3/4 sleeves, sheer beautiful sleeves. This dress is conservative and stylish. But as I mentioned before, it’s also $6000. Ahh.. This was one of those moments where I actually thought life isn’t fair for the budget conscious bride, but I reluctantly got over it, and started the search for ‘the’ dress that looked like my dear ‘Addie’. I started my search at Alfred Angelo, followed by David’s Bridal, and then NY Bride. For all you brides out there, please do not wait to buy your dress. I waited until 4 months before the wedding date which left me very little time to find a dress in time. I felt sort of pressured to make a decision quickly and although I did find my dress, and I love it, it’s not my first love, the Addie, and to be honest, I don’t love it as much as the Addie. It’s true. I still look at pictures of my dear dress but like a long lost love that didn’t work out, I try to focus on what I do have now, my actual dress. I’m happy with it and I bought a sheer tulle bolero with a train to give it a conservative twist because of course it’s strapless. I’m not going to show you what I chose until the actual wedding, but I’ll show you a few of the dresses that didn’t make the cut. Notice my facial expressions in some of the pics…clearly, I wasn’t so thrilled. However, wedding dress shopping is fun and I felt like a princess. I wish there were more occasions to wear such gorgeous dresses than just one day.
So let’s start with my dream dress, the Addie.
And now let’s move onto the ‘real’ dresses
Dress 1 from Alfred Angelo. Pretty but it didn’t catch my eye.
Dress 2 from Alfred Angelo. Simple and modern. I liked it but it didn’t have enough ‘oomph’.
Dress 3 from Alfred Angelo. I just thought this looked weird on me.
Dress 4 from Alfred Angelo. I like the simplicity of this one with the crystal band but it’s hard to tell how it would really look. All the samples were way too big so everything had to be clipped back.
Dress 5 from Alfred Angelo. I like the idea of this dress but it was just too big to really tell what it would look like. It’s very romantic and lace-y. I think if it fit, I would have liked this one more.
Dress 6 from David’s Bridal. I adored this dress from David’s Bridal but once I tried it on, it didn’t look right on me. This is from Vera Wang’s new White line. All the dresses are gorgeous. I tried quite a few on but it didn’t seem to work for me. You’ll also notice my Blue Steel face. I was trying to be Vera Wang-ish and no one was there to take a pic for me. Yes, I went wedding dress shopping alone (initially). I wanted to see how I felt about it without the influence of other’s opinions.
Dress 7 from NY Bride. I really enjoyed this dress but it was too thin for a winter wedding. It didn’t have as much heavy material like the other dresses. It was effortless to move in which is a big plus but I wanted more material.
Dress 8 from NY Bride. I just had to try on a big poofy dress. Fun, but hard to move in, and it swallowed my short body.
Dress 9 from NY Bride. This dress was so pretty and flowy but I found another dress I liked more, so this one could have been the one.
I think I tried on about 20 dresses total. For those ladies who are already married or are getting married, how many dresses did you try before you found the one?
Omg…it’s midnight and we finally finished sealing the last invitation! Woo hoo:) Normally, we would video this moment, but we are both tuckered out, so I leave you with some thoughts. If you knew exactly what went on behind the scenes to get these done, you would fully understand how sealing that last envelope was so sweet.
We put a lot of love into these although I’m not sure if you can tell that’s the case. They’re simple yet it took forever to get these just right! We both knew we wanted our invites to be easy, fun, and only made of 2 parts: the invite on one piece of card stock and a post card RSVP. That’s it. I’ve seen some elaborate invitations with lots of different parts, tags, etc., and they look gorgeous but we are not the type to spend so much time creating such works of art. Yes, we wanted nice invitations, but simple and cost effective was our main priority.
And I thought if we did it ourselves, we would achieve our goals. Nope…not true. I don’t know what the heck I was thinking trying to do these myself. Thank goodness for my fiance and bff otherwise these would not be done until next week. I already have folks asking for details and such but I hear 6 weeks before the wedding is ideal timing to receive an invite, so we’re in the clear.
Arel and I both decided we didn’t want to spend a lot on invitations, but I’m not sure we really saved much doing it ourselves. So to save you from repeating our mistakes, here’s some wise words of wisdom for those of you trying to save money on invitations: unless you know what the heck you’re doing, this is not the route to go. There are plenty of websites that offer extremely affordable, nice looking websites. Check out www.vistaprint.com and www.theamericanwedding.com for ridiculously cheap invites that actually look nice. Or you can even purchase ready to go invites at stores like Michael’s and simply print the info you need on it. This route can be a bit expensive especially if you have a lot of folks to invite but it’s still cheaper than most other options. I learned DIY is not always the cheapest route but it can be if done properly. And with that, I say good night!
Good Morning IFF!
Arel and I have been MIA for awhile: both of us have been working full time, Arel has been traveling, I’ve been teaching Zumba, and we’ve been wedding planning which has zapped up much of our time… But we’re back and have so much to update you on. Our latest adventure involved wedding invitations, and my first official melt down which ended up in tears… yes, over invitations. Oy vey. I’ll give you the details in the next post, but for now, here’s a glimpse of my best friend (and maid of honor) and I working on the DIY invites. Excuse my hair in this video, I realize I look like a hot mess. It was a long night putting together the little touches (which in the end will not be mailed along with the invites)… arghh!
What’s going on IFF!
The days are flying by and we’re about 2 and half months away from the wedding! Ahhhh! Last night we met with our wedding coordinator to talk about everything. It’s crazy how many details have to be thought of, which apparently was so boring for my future hubby that I caught him playing Fruit Ninja and checking his facebook page multiple times as he ‘pretended’ to be taking ‘notes’ on his phone. Haha. He tried his best to pay attention but I could see he was itching to get out of there, which we did 2 and half hours later. I was proud he made it through but slightly wished that I too could have played Fruit Ninja
We’re hoping that we can throw an unforgettable night for our guests, but are humble enough to know we cannot do it alone, which leads us to the topic of this video… what’s the point of a bridal party? We need your help with one, so watch it till the end, and PLEASE give us your thoughts! We need it:)
Hey there IFF!
We have another video for you. This one is a bit of a mash up of different topics and you’ll also see our special guest who loves making appearances with us. He’s pretty darn cute.
Watch us talk about wedding colors, what Tim Burton has to do with our wedding, and my favorite website right now that’s just so awesome I can’t stop talking about it.
Greetings InterfaithFamily & Friends,
Arel and I have been out of the loop for awhile due to the recent high holy holidays. We didn’t want to plaster our videos everywhere while more important agendas were going on for the Jewish people. For us, this was an especially meaningful past weeks as we celebrated our first high holidays as a Jewish couple. It was heartfelt and it gave us the space to reflect on how far we’ve come as a couple and where we want to go from here on all sorts of levels, especially spiritually. We are genuinely excited about the upcoming year.
So now that we’re back to wedding planning, we have another video for you. The honest truth is that we both are not so great with planning, which means we had to come up with a solution otherwise our wedding would be one horrendous party. What did we end up doing? Watch the video to find out.
In this video, we talk about wedding dresses. Arel thinks dresses are ridiculously priced, and I think he’s right but why oh why do they have to be so darn beautiful? I found the perfect dress but it’s beyond my price range…so what to do? For all you ladies out there, did you stay within your dress budget or did you splurge on your wedding dress? Was it worth it?
And of course…Happy New Year – L’Shana Tova! I hope you all have an amazing year!
In this video, we talk about what to feed our guests plus we feature a special guest.
For all of you who have had a Jewish wedding, or are planning one, what did you decide to feed your guests and why? Just wanna know!
Peace & Love,