To answer some questions…

I’ve had some really great questions about my “A little more about Julie” post that I thought I’d take some time to answer now. I was asked 1)how both families felt; 2)which family was more concerned about the differences in faith; and 3)how do Bryan and I plan on raising children?

Both families were thrilled for us when we announced our news. They knew it had been coming. Both our families have said that they’ve never seen us as happy as we have been together, and that our happiness is, of course, of utmost importance to them, over anything else.

My family has appeared more concerned about our differences in faith. This is to be expected, however. Our relationship is not the first interfaith marriage in Bryan’s family; whereas, the closest my family has come to an interfaith marriage is my dad not going to church or being baptised until I was in college. Add to this the fact that this is Bryan’s second marriage, and his second interfaith marriage. His children from his first marriage are being exposed to both Judaism and Christianity–we do Shabbat dinners with them, celebrate Hanukkah and Passover with them, and on the years when we have them for Christmas (like this year), we do Christmas with them, also.

So, as for the question of how we’re going to raise children…this is always a tough one to answer, because inevitably, we’re going to disappoint someone. We are still discussing this. Since we haven’t discussed this in detail with either family, I am hesitant to go into much detail here, out of respect for them. Regardless of what we decide, our home will always be an interfaith home: Bryan’s boys will decide for themselves which religion they are called to; his father’s side of the family is Jewish; his Mother’s side of the family is Christian; and my family is Christian.

I was also asked if we plan to have a Christmas tree…until further notice, the answer is yes. I grew up with Christmas being my favorite time of year. We always did Christmas “BIG” and it was a magical time, when some of my best childhood memories were created. Bryan is a wonderful man and respects that about me and my life.

I hope that helps answer some questions. Keep them coming!

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2 thoughts on “To answer some questions…

  1. My wife and I are interfaith, expecting our second child, so I know what you are going through. Regarding the question of how you’ll raise your children, you said “…inevitably, we’re going to disappoint someone.”

    True, that’s possible. But my advice is to remember that any disappointment is their problem, not yours. As an interfaith couple, you are making decisions that none of them have ever had to consider. You are spending more time thinking about and discussing issues of religion, tradition, spirituality, and family that most couples ever do. I believe that interfaith couples have a stronger understanding and respect for their traditions, because they *have* to think about these things very deeply.

    In the end, the decision is yours. You need defend it to no one. Just remind your family that the decision was made with a great deal of care and thought, and regardless of their opinion, you hope that they will support you and your (future) children. I know my own extended family has only become richer because of our interfaith marriage.

  2. Thanks! This is a very helpful response, and not the first I’ve heard of its kind. Thank you for sharing and for offering such wonderful, heartfelt advice.

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