Two Traditions United for a Perfect Wedding Weekend

  
bride with mom, dad, and sisters in purple dresses with bouquets

Laura’s parents and sisters

Laura's sister putting on her veil

A few weeks ago, I posted some pictures from our honeymoon along with an account of my first Yom Kippur fasting with my new husband. But, you may ask, how was the wedding? It was the event I’ve been planning and dreaming about for the past year-and-a-half that has taken my sweat and tears (thankfully no blood) for its own. And, it went off without a hitch.

Well, not entirely, but the few mishaps that did occur happened before the wedding day, which is a blur. I woke up on Saturday morning and went with my mom to our local church. It was bittersweet, because I had always assumed I would be married in that church, but it was a wonderful way to start the day—thoughtfully and peacefully in God’s presence. The monsignor at the parish even remembered about the wedding and announced it at the end of mass, extending the community’s prayers and good wishes for the day, and for our marriage.

When we got home, the whirlwind of preparations started—hair, makeup, dress and jewelry. My bridesmaids (my two sisters), my maid of honor (Sarah, my college-and-beyond friend) and my parents were all getting ready with me at my parents’ house, which made it really lovely, and about as relaxed as I could be. Before I knew it, the photographer was at the house and ready to take photos! I had lived my whole pre-adult life in this house, so having the photos at home was really important to me. The photographer was able to capture the importance of the house and my family in her photos.

On the way to the venue, I was so nervous and excited—more nervous than I’d been about almost anything else in my life. We got into the bridal suite for a few minutes to cool down with a glass of water before the ceremony started. In the bridal suite, there was a card and gift waiting for me from Zach. He had written me a beautiful message, and gifted me a mezuzah he had gotten on one of his trips to Israel (before which I had bugged him to get a mezuzah for the house and was puzzled why he’d never brought one home after the trip. Patience is not my strong suit.) Needless to say, it made me cry, and centered me in a way, knowing that the Zach I know and love was waiting for me a few (long) moments away.

Laura sitting and waiting for the ceremony to begin

Waiting in the tent for the ceremony to begin

The ceremony was also a blur, but what surprised me was the number of people who came up to us during the reception to tell us it was one of the most beautiful wedding ceremonies they had ever been to. People were really impressed with the way we seamlessly blended our two traditions, chose readings and readers that were meaningful to us, and included prayers that signified our desire to build a better world. I posted about the ceremony here, but the highlights are:

  • Two readings, one from the New Testament and one from the Old Testament
  • Recitation of vows and exchange of rings
  • The Seven Blessings, led by our fathers and culminating in the sharing of the wine using a goblet that Zach’s mother, Roberta, made
  • General Intercessions, which include prayers for the broader community
  • Benediction and breaking of the glass (which went everywhere but the napkin it was wrapped in)

Fr. Mike and Rabbi Bleefeld give a blessing

Before I knew it, we were walking back down the aisle—married! It definitely took some time to sink in. We took pictures with family, signed the ketubah with the rabbi and headed over to the reception to be introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Zach and Laura Drescher! The reception was a whirlwind of dances, dinner and toasts. We danced our first dance to “Stand By Me,” followed by my dance with my dad and a parents’ dance: Zach dancing with my mom and me dancing with Zach’s dad.

 

As the dance floor filled up, we tried to split our time between dancing and saying hello to folks sitting around the tables in the tent. Honestly, I was surprised at how quickly it went by and how little we got to see each individual person (we had about 100 people). I would start talking with one person, and then be pulled away to take a picture, or hit the dance floor, or say hi to another guest… It was so wonderful to be surrounded by all of the people we love. That was my favorite part of the day—having all of the people who have played different roles in our lives, and seen different parts of our stories, come together to celebrate this new chapter with us.

Before the wedding, Zach was lobbying hard for us to do something after the wedding—a party, a bar, something. I was pretty adamant that we would both be exhausted, but we left the door open for an informal option. When the reception wound down, I was surprised to find I had a lot of energy—I felt like I didn’t want the night to end! We decided to go with some friends to a bar near the hotel, just for one drink…which turned into three. It was surreal, to be in a bar, still in my wedding dress, catching up with old friends from college. It was a great opportunity to see some of the people who we’d barely had a chance to say hello to at the wedding and I’m so glad we took the opportunity to spend more time with friends who had traveled to spend the day with us.

The next morning we hosted a brunch at the hotel for our families, because many of them had traveled far to attend the wedding and we wanted another opportunity to hang out with them. It was a great continuation of the joy and celebration from the day before. Those who weren’t flying out were invited back to my parents’ house for an “open house”—drinks, sandwiches, etc.—during the afternoon. We got to see more family members there, said goodbye to our maid of honor and best man, and eventually wound down from the excitement of the wedding. It was wonderful to end the wedding weekend right where I’d started it—in my parents’ house, among family and friends. The only difference was, I was now married!

The cake

The new Mr. and Mrs. Zach and Laura Drescher!

Circle Up for the Horah!

  

Circle up everyone, it is time for another blog post!

It is Friday so let’s put on our dancing shoes and talk about the Horah!

Dancing is Just Controlled Falling

After talking about it a couple months ago and Lisa unsure, we have decided that we are all in!

The Horah is a traditionally Jewish custom where guests circle up and dance around with linked hands, while another group of people lift the bride and groom in chairs. If you are still lost and need examples feel free to pop in Fiddler on the Roof or go on over to YouTube.

Although, it is a Jewish Tradition, there actually is not a very deep spiritual meaning to it. Some people dance in lines and Jews apparently dance in circles. So this means this tradition is very open to your own interpretation and room to make it your own.

As I mentioned before here, we will likely use Harry Belafonte’s version of Hava Nagila. Hava Nagila is the traditional song and Belafonte is a family tradition so it fits well.

We also have recruited a couple friends to be in charge of hoisting us up in celebration. As I broke the news to Nick, my best man, I congratulated him on being a fine physical specimen with rhythm. He is a boxer and a musician so the mold fits. We then asked our friend Sarah, who is Jewish and competes in CrossFit competitions to be the other captain. She was happy to oblige as well.

The next piece we needed was someone to lead the circle, and we asked our friend Paula who is the person who talked Lisa into the Hora in the first place. Paula and Seth actually have a large part in our wedding and it seems almost by accident. They went with us to the caterer that we chose and Seth, her husband and my colleague, is signing our Ketubah.

We have some more things planned with it all, but it is not yet finalized, so I will wait to share the details.

Slipping the Night Away?

I know this week is a little light, but with so much going on, I feel a bit all over the place. Which when talking about movements where you are easy on the feet and dancing around, it might be the best way to write this post.

Shabbat Shalom everybody!

Music of the Heart, Music for the Wedding

  

“You can’t walk away when it gets a little heavy now. “ With all the stress that has fallen onto Lisa and myself over the past couple weeks, Cody ChesnuTT could not be any more right when singing the tune, entitled, “Love is a More Than a Wedding Day.” Through the bad times and the good times music plays a big role in how we remember an event. We sing songs to mark events, like Happy Birthday, and to celebrate holidays like Christmas and Hanukkah. When thinking about the topic of music and weddings, I took to the Internet and just realized how much music happens at any wedding and how it reflects the whole day.

Looking at the songs during the ceremony, I found out there are songs played before and after the ceremony. There are songs throughout the ceremony. Songs for the bridge and groom and songs for the guests. Then the one I actually did think about was what song would Lisa like to come down the aisle to? I have got my homework cut out for me.

I think the most fun song(s) come at the reception. There will be lots of dancing as I am known to dance and dance well and enjoy it. Since this day is about Lisa and me, I can guarantee there will be some music everyone can dance along to. And according to one article I read, it is considering a mitzvah (a good deed) that friends come and dance with the bride and groom. (Any friends reading this, this means you.) However, those songs do not carry much weight and probably will be forgotten in time.

What about the music that says who we truly are? We are already having a nice mix of inter-faith practices during the ceremony, but what about during the reception? Lisa admits the chair dance also officially known as the Hora terrifies her, but we have not officially ruled it out. Mainly because I Iove Harry Belafonte’s “Hava Nageela” and it is a tune that I loved to listen to with my grandmother and one of the records we would bond over towards the end of her life. We may actually look for a way to update the Hora, starting a new tradition to honor my grandmother and still make Lisa feel comfortable. More details to come…

Lisa and I are 99% sure we have our song because it was on the first mix tape (CD) that I ever gave to her. It is simple and actually does wrap us up in the nutshell. Instead of gushing about it, you can just listen to it here.

I began to think about the parent/child dances. Lisa and I are not sure whether we should select the songs or have our parents select the songs. I actually am enjoying the inner dialogue I’m having about selecting the song for the mother and son dance. It is a time to reflect on our definitions of family and what is most important. The Torah (Old Testament) talks about honoring your parents and it is one of the tenets we hear the most. It is applicable to both our faiths as a couple and generally some good advice. This is just one instance in which we get to honor the commandment during the day and in our lives with some extra weight tacked on.

Clearly, music has a big effect on the day. Sometimes it is a spiritual decision. Sometimes it is about who we are every day. Sometimes it is about having fun. This topic will continue to unfold and hopefully closer to the wedding, I will have an update and perhaps a full playlist to go with it all.

Music Makes You Move…

  

The DJ we’ve hired for our wedding– in 5 months!— has an incredible online system for music requests. (Shameless plug, his name is Mike Obara, based out of Central MA and he has been incredibly professional throughout the process–check him out at http://magicmikeentertainment.com/). Dana and I sat down for a few hours the other night and tried to figure out the music selection for our pre-ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner and reception. We had a few non-negotiables right off the bat: no YMCA, no electric slide, no “Shout!”, not to take away from it if that’s your kind of thing, but we just aren’t interested in any of the old cliches. Besides, we have a sophisticated and musically literate group to cater to.

An interesting thing for both of us was how to draw the line between crowd-pleasers and underground favorites. We want to play Earth, Wind and Fire “September,” and also think that even some of our older guests might be able to rock out to some Vampire Weekend or Passion Pit. How do you introduce those kinds of songs that might be unknown to a majority of the audience without clearing them off of the dance floor?

I suppose that’s where we have to trust Mike’s expertise, but we also don’t want to put him in the position of trying to play some of our requests if he doesn’t think they’ll be popular. Then there’s the issue of top 40 pop music. We both love Avicci’s “Wake me up” and Ellie Goulding’s “Burn,” and can see ourselves dancing the night away to them, but who’s to say there won’t be a new hit by June, and these requests will be out of date?

We did attend a wedding for some of our friends last summer–actually, another interfaith wedding from which we’re stealing a lot of our ceremony ideas–where the dinner/cocktail hour was all country music. We thought this was a great idea and plan to play some of our country and folk-indie-Irish favorites that would be totally un-danceable as we eat.

Overall, choosing the playlists has been a fun and fascinating process, one that we’ve both enjoyed, and one that makes the wedding so much more real and immediate. It’s really happening, and we couldn’t be happier! Getting the music squared away is one of many final details we’re starting to work out, wish us luck!