Zach Braff's movie, Michael Douglas & Diane KeatonBy Gerri Miller
New movies are coming out this month with several actors in interfaith marriages. Plus, the much anticipated Zach Braff film.Go To Pop Culture
In many religious communities, it is customary for men and women to spiritually ready themselves before they walk down the aisle. A traditional observance of Orthodox Jews is to take a bath, or immerse themselves into a sacred pool known as a mikveh. For those more familiar with Christian metaphors, it would be like getting a baptism in a pool filled with Holy Water. One of the times the ritual is preformed is before a couple becomes married. At the end of the day, it is all about becoming spiritually clean and purifying our bodies before we walk down the aisle.
I find myself spiritually readying myself without the assistance of the mikveh. I am exploring the idea of the mikveh ritual, but in the meantime, I have begun the process of spiritual readiness that may be good for people of all faiths!
We need to purify the body, and make sure we fit in those wedding clothes! That means we need to work out. I put roller derby on the shelf. It was not only hurting my body, but was beyond mentally taxing. So I hung up my skates and took down the yoga mat. I began to practice Bikram Yoga. Bikram is strict 26 posture yoga practice done for 90 minutes in 105 degree heat. I admit, I am not flexible at all, but I am finding myself being able to let go of the daily stresses and finding mental clarity. For me, it really has become a mind, body and soul cleansing process which is exactly what I had set out to do for the wedding. After one of those classes, it certainly feels like I have been immersed in water.
The next part of my spiritual readiness is coming from my mentor and my groomsman, Scott. Scott became my mentor when I was about 10 months into a mentoring program and really began to look at life from an honest perspective. Over the past 4 years or so, he has been not only a mentor but a friend and really helped develop me into the man I am today and when I met Lisa. Scott and I recently began to restart our work together. The purpose is that by the end of it all, you have re-established or deepened your relationship with G-D. This past weekend, I spent close to four hours reviewing over the phone with Scott. Although we have done this process before, I truthfully say that this an extremely powerful experience and am already experiencing changes in my life. Today, I feel spiritually lightened and on a path to repair, mend, and strengthen all my relationships in life.
There is a lot of work left to do. There is the long list of actual wedding to-do’s, but after completing this post, there is clearly spiritual work that needs to be completed as well. I am looking forward to sharing more with everyone and taking those traditions and putting our new spin on them. Time to hit the bar… the ballet bar.
On our wedding day, we are having more of a traditional Jewish Ceremony, but in a chapel. One of the main parts of the ceremony is having our Rabbi recite the Seven Blessings.
Here are the Seven Blessings (Traditional English):
To learn more about the blessings, I suggest checking out The InterfaithFamily Seven Blessings.
I originally was trying to think of a Top 7 Blessings We Wish We Heard At Our Wedding. Then I thought about the Top 7 Blessings Ryan Would Like, the Top 7 Blessings Lisa would like, etc. I still may post them as we still have awhile to go before the big day, but today I went with:
The Seven Blessings with a Modern Time Update for Our Inter-Faith Wedding:
1. Thank You God, for creating such wonderful food for our guests to enjoy. Indian Food, Holtman’s Doughnuts, and Drinks (alcoholic and non-alcoholic).
This week, I was asked by a co-worker about my
I grew up in a non-religious household. Sure we celebrated Passover and Hanukkah, but along with Christmas and Easter. My formal Jewish education was the two years I spent before kindergarten in a Temple preschool.
Much like my upcoming wedding, my Bar Mitzvah was anything but traditional. Although I came to accept my Judaism fully when I was 13, my Bar Mitzvah was not until I was 20 years old. I was in Israel on my Birthright trip, which is a free trip for young Jews to connect with Israel. The Bar Mitzvah was scheduled to be on top of Masada, but we could not find a Rabbi willing to carry the Torah up the mountain. Therefore, I was rescheduled to do it in the King David Hotel in Jerusalem, in the middle of an actual 13 year old’s Orthodox Bar Mitzvah. I would just come up, repeat something someone said to me, with my hand on the Torah, and officially become a Jewish Man. At the time, it meant a lot because my Grandfather also had his Bar Mitzvah in Israel later in life. However, looking back, I realized I did not have to study anything and I was just asked to show up.
Even with my current spiritual practices, it has been a non-traditional education. I spoke with Rabbis and other spiritual mentors. I have hung around people who practiced all religions. I read books sometimes of my own choosing and sometimes books that were recommended. The most formal part of my spiritual practices are taking time in the morning for prayer and meditation and my Friday nights I spend in Temple.
When it comes to this wedding, I have had to sit in classes with my Rabbi. She even gave Lisa and me a test. It measured our personalities and compatibility. I have had to read books that were recommended to me, whether it be Beyond the Breaking of the Glass or The New Jewish Wedding. I am trying to keep up to date with Jewish Wedding blogs, whether it be my co-contributors at InterfaithFamily or outside sources. I find myself throughout the week going through each part of the ceremony, researching its meaning, praying about it, spiritually evaluating its relevance to me. Much of the time, that is what this blog is about and how my process works. Diving deep into music and traditions.
What does this all mean? This is my most formal Jewish Education I have ever received, and I am going through it with my partner who is not Jewish. I think about this and have to laugh. A touch of irony, but this feels like I am moving from high school to college for my spiritual education. Ever since I started down this path of practice of Judaism, I have always wanted and wished for a formal education to happen, I just had no idea it would begin when I was not expecting it. Usually when you are educating yourself, you know because you enroll in class, but it looks like even my enrollment process into formal Jewish education was once again anything but traditional.
In this video, Arel and I talk about meeting our rabbi, Rabbi Pepperstone (aka Rabbi P:). We spent 4 hours talking about the wedding and delved into other interesting topics. He was very open and answered all of our questions and made us feel confident about having a Jewish wedding with a mostly interfaith guest list.
Arel and I are both very happy with Rabbi Pepperstone leading our ceremony and we’re sure our families and friends will be just as content. He’s really easy to talk to, extremely knowledgeable and funny. We didn’t want to leave our meeting but we had to let him go home at some point.
I’m wondering: do most Jews choose their resident rabbi to officiate their wedding, or do they seek a rabbi elsewhere? Care to share? Love to hear your thoughts:)