Comments for InterfaithFamily Wedding Blog

Comment on Our Ceremony by Rachel

Rachel — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 00:13:25 +0000

Bryan and Julie-
I am very interested in creating a ceremony with co-officiants that is blended and respects both my family’s and my fiance’s traditions. (I was raised in the enagelical Christian church and now attend Prespyterian services but am not a member and he is Jewish (including 10 years of Hebrew/Jewish school!) but does not practice currently. I have been very scared about the ceremony and have found this issue very painful to deal with. I would be interested in more detail about the ceremony and how you decided on the elements and found officiants willing to do a blended ceremony. (I have never heard of an interfaith ketubah and am excited about that!
Ultimately, I want the ceremony and wedding to be explicitly inclusive. Your wedding sounds lovely - thank you for sharing.
Rachel

Comment on Why Was Finding A Rabbi So Difficult? by Rabbi Lev

Rabbi Lev — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 16:25:45 +0000

This last interchange warmed my heart. I am moved when people can create clear supportive statements when times have been hard for them. The two of you are a positive part of the reason the rabbinic and cantorial world is changing to support interfaith couples getting married. When rabbis and cantors who are not officiating at interfaith weddings meet with interfaith couples who can both help them see that they are open to and welcoming Jewish ritual and prayer at this impoortant point in their lives, at the same time as respecting a rabbi or cantors choice to not officiate, you touch their soul.
While it is extreemly important for rabbis and cantors to be respectful of an interfaith couple’s choice to marry, and we at interfaithfamily.com are working hard to help with that process, it is as important for couple’s to respect the choices and struggles of jewish clergy who are comming to terms with a relatively new choice in American culture. Interfaith marriage is new to the American scene as of the last 25 years or so. It is only after a civil rights struggle and the ability to mix with the rest of Americans that Jews could even think of marrying someone not Jewish, and so to others marrying Jews.
I wish both of you well in your weddings and married life, and lisa, if you are still looking for a rabbi and haven’t filled out our www.interfaithfamily.com/findarabbi survey, you can do that and we will let you know if there are any rabbis or cantors in your area who do officiate and co-officiate.
Rabbi Lev Baesh, InterfaithFamily.com

Comment on Why Was Finding A Rabbi So Difficult? by Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 03:13:48 +0000

I am glad you wrote this article because I am having a hard time finding a Rabbi that will marry us. I am Jewish but my Fiancé is not. I was raised Orthodox for the most part of my life. For some unknown reasons I let my traditions go a little bit , but as I get older and now getting married and hopefully being blessed with a family in the future I want to bring back some of my traditions .
You said something in your article that really helped me, the title of Rabbi Steven Foster’s article “It’s Not about You, It’s About Me: Why I Don’t Perform Interfaith Weddings.” That came at a good time because I started to feel like a bad Jewish, because no Rabbi wanted to marry us. But now I see it in a different light and it has helped me understand why. So the search goes on and I hope I will find a Rabbi that will marry us.
Lisa

Comment on The Wedding! by Bryan

Bryan — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 07:14:20 +0000

Thank you. It was a wonderful ceremony. We were able to incorporate elements of two different faiths, which according to our guests made for a beautiful, romantic, and as inclusive a ceremony as they’d ever attended.

Obviously, one of the things that makes our country great is freedom of speech–we are all entitled to our opinions, and I respect your right to your’s. Another thing that makes this country great is the freedom to practice whatever religion we choose. And should we fall in love with someone from another religion, we have the ability to marry that person.

The work that we put into our relationship leading up to the wedding taught me more about being Jewish, and brought me closer to Judiasm than any Sunday school or Hebrew School class ever did. For that, I have my wife to thank (ok, and our Rabbi).

Comment on Our Ceremony by Daniel Sroka

Daniel Sroka — Fri, 11 May 2007 14:48:12 +0000

Your ceremony sounds very similar to what we came up with for our own. The combination of the traditions felt very natural, and the ceremony felt like one unified tradition. One thing we also did was make sure that each tradition was explained as it was performed, and that it was explained in a way that was open and accessible to everyone. For example, the breaking of the glass has so many interpretations. One you hear a lot is that it symbolizes the destruction of the temple. We thought that was a rather odd explanation, especially for the non-Jewish folks. Our rabbi came up with an explanation that made more sense for everyone: that it is a symbol of commitment, of doing something that cannot undone.

Comment on Funny Passover Comic by Tracy

Tracy — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 03:44:00 +0000

How funny! Thank you for sharing a great laugh!

Comment on Finding a Co-officiating Rabbi by Deborah

Deborah — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 04:23:17 +0000

Would someone be willing to share the contact phone number for Rabbi Marc? He sounds perfect for us.

Comment on Finding a Co-officiating Rabbi by Buck Murray

Buck Murray — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 03:21:42 +0000

I met up with Rabbi Marc and his wife the same way. I must say that after Rabbi Marc took our wedding on his shoulders it was like a major weight was taken off of mine. He wrote a unique, personalized ceremony. He emailed it to us for review and, after a few changes my fiance cried because it was so good. The service was excellent. The rabbi was patient, kind, and made us feel very special. Rabbi Marc was a godsend.

Comment on Passover Or Baseball? by bryan

bryan — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 17:13:14 +0000

Dana, thank you for your feedback. And you’re right, it is probably asking too much for him to make this decision now. When I discussed this with his mother, her immediate response was “he’s going with y’all to Passover, end of discussion.” So she is definitely supportive. I am sure that his coach will be, too. Since posting this entry, I’ve decided that it is important to me that my children are there for Passover, sharing in the heritage and traditions of our family.

Comment on Passover Or Baseball? by Dana

Dana — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 16:51:58 +0000

Every family is different, and it’s most important for you to figure out the solution that works for YOUR family. That means the entire family — not just you, and not just your son. Asking your son to decide may be giving a young child too much responsibility. Ask yourself where you want your family relationships to be 8 or 10 years from now, when your son is truly old enough to make this decision — and will insist upon it. If you want him to choose to respect and share in the religious rituals of his father and grandfather at that time, you can’t give him the message today that participation is optional. If this were my family, I would let the child know that one t-ball game must be missed in order to celebrate Passover as a family. I would discuss it with his mother, as well as his t-ball coach, to make sure everyone is supportive. You need the “village” to be on your side at times like this.