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Beyond The December Dilemma - Page 1
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Page 1
| Rehak and Lovy column |
Author: InterfaithFamily.com Editor (---.reonbroadband.com)
Date: 07-13-01 09:27
Please post your responses and comments on Heidi Rehak and Howard Lovy's column here. |
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| Buddhism and Wicca |
Author: alexisyael (---.cvx2-bradley.dialup.earthlink.net)
Date: 07-14-01 18:47
Heidi --
As a former Wiccan who did incorporate certain Buddhist meditational practices into her life and who converted to Judaism, let me be the first to implore you to learn more about Buddhism and Wicca before you start making assumptions about these relgions.
First, Buddhism is not necesarily atheistic. There are gods and goddesses in the Buddhist canon,and Buddhists who implore said gods and goddesses to intervene on their behalf. (This is noteable in "pure land Buddhism"). Buddhism isn't just a fad, it's a religous tradition that spans many centuries. The Beastie Boy who became Buddhist knows his Buddhist tradition. Countless Americans don't. Practice zen, but don't consider yourself a Buddhist unless you do some serious study of its teachings.
Second, Wicca does not encorporate Buddhist theology as a whole. Some Wiccans teach meditation -- well, meditatiion is taught in Christian and Jewish circles as well! Meditation is not Buddhism (nor is it Hinduism). Wicca is theistic -- poly-theistic or monotheistic, depending on the person and their particular creed. I have never met a Wiccan who did not believe in some kind of "higher power." Most believe in magick.
The tone of this article really disturbed me. I wasn't Jewish when I married my Jewish husband -- I converted later for my own personal reasons. But we never had discussions of the sort this article is suggesting you two have. Never would either one of us have suggested that the other do any kind of forced education -- as both of you do in this article. For a Jew, Christmas trees have a very big historical meaning... And for Howard to keep suggesting that Heidi needs to learn more about Judaism -- much as I agree, I think that forcing the issue doesn't help. She wasn't Jewish when you met her, Howard, Make peace with it. (I personally believe interfaith marriages can work great -- see my friend Annie's article this issue.)
Stop forcing religion down one another's throat and find a peaceful way to write about this situation. I hope for your sakes that you don't argue like this in real life! It's disrespectful.
Blessings to you both,
alexisyael |
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| Should they call the whole thing off? |
Author: Susan (---.milwaukee.k12.wi.us)
Date: 07-16-01 12:42
I agree with alexisyael. Reading her friend Annie's piece, what I found there which is missing in the Heidi/Howard piece is respect for each other's beliefs and openminded willingness to learn about them. The fact that Annie is "on the path of conversion" and taking on much of the Jewish lifestyle also bodes well for their relationship . Whether the conversion process is complete or not, a person with a "Jewish soul" can have a successful marriage with a Jew. These two here, however, seem to be terrible together. The nasty tone of their discussion reminds me of those unclean programs on television which one hears about, where self-mutilators and people in abusive relationships yell and throw chairs at each other. Feh!! |
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| column |
Author: Carol (---.ne.mediaone.net)
Date: 07-16-01 13:45
Susan,
I feel that you are over reacting to the tone you find in Howard and Heidi's exchanges. I found it light and not angry. They are negotiating, and that does not always come easily. |
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| light? negotiating? |
Author: Susan (---.milwaukee.k12.wi.us)
Date: 07-16-01 16:30
Carol:
By her admission, they seem to be incapable of discussing religion without anger or sadness. It sounds as if they're locked in a power struggle. She is hostile to religion. He wants her to learn more about his traditions, and she resists defensively. He's trying to deal with philosophical issues and she tells him to hurry up and cut to "practical" matters. (So what if we have nothing in common sweetheart? There's no time to worry about that now, not when we still need to get the photographer lined up and register for our china pattern). She even taunts him about whether he know how to have sex! This after they publish their names, picture, and her occupation on the internet. Have they no shame? What on earth can they possibly see in each other? This relationship is bad news. |
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| don't insult people in your comments |
Author: Ronnie Friedland, editor (---.ne.mediaone.net)
Date: 07-17-01 10:06
Dear contributors to this discussion,
I don't want to stifle the discussion, but I would appreciate it if you didn't insult the columnists. Although they have a dry sense of humor and communicate with a mildly ironic tone, they are serious about the issues and about their love for each other. It is okay to discuss the issues raised, but there is no need to be so condemning and disrespectful of them. Comments like: "have they no shame?" and "What on earth can they possibly see in each other?" are not helpful.
Please, while we encourage lively debate of the ideas and issues, we do not tolerate disrespect for the individuals. And we will delete disrespectful and personally insulting comments. |
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| to Howard and Heidi |
Author: Susan (---.milwaukee.k12.wi.us)
Date: 07-18-01 12:16
The editor seems to think I've insulted you. That was not my intention, and I'm sorry if I wrote anything you took that way. I just don't think the two of you would really be happy with each other. Frankly, from the way you two have gone at it in your column, it sounds as if you're insulting each other, which is not the basis of a healthy marriage. Also, there seem to be fundamental incompatibility of priorities.
I would like to ask Heidi a question: if you were to get engaged to a man whose family is Mexican, would you refuse to learn any Spanish?
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Author: Rachel (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: 07-23-01 22:42
Howard feels he is part of 'something larger than himself'. Go with that feeling, Howard, because that feeling of Jewishness, of being a member of the people of Israel is important. You don't have to be religious to feel it, though being religious helps. And Heidi doesn't sem to have a clue about why it's important, and, faced with something she doesn't understand, can only ridicule it. Don't ignore that feeling, because it might be very important to you one day when your first child is born. You will want to share it with your children, and you will want a partner who can also share it with them and with you. |
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| Ignore, this is just a test. |
Author: IFF editor (---.ne.mediaone.net)
Date: 12-18-01 11:01
Ignore, this is just a test. |
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