December Holidays - Page 2

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Re:

Author: Carol  Date:   12-14-03 07:25 I was raised in an interfaith but not religious environment. As long as I remember I have had a great love and longing to be Jewish. After a disasterous first marriage . I exposed my children to both faiths (catholic and Jewish ) They are now 20 and 22 and identify with both . I remarried when they were 9 and 8. My husband is Jewish. After our first two children were born we began to wrestle with how to raise them.We did have a bris on the 8th day for our son but did nothing for our daughter. They attended preschool at the Jcc and celebrated all holidays at home. We did not attend temple or church. This began to trouble me greatly.Eventually we went to talk to the Rabbi of a local reform congrgation . We were welcomed with open arms. We have been attending ever since. We have had two more children (total 6) and the 4 youngest fully identify themselves as Jewish. My 10 and 11 year old attend Hebrew school and sunday school and my husband and I attend childrens services with them.That all being said its the holiday season again. Every year a struggle. What is the right thing to do ? Im in the process of converting but I still have the two oldest children and my father to consider. Here is what we decided to do. We will as always celebrate channukah. Small gift first night,prayers and candles all 8 nights. Fun gifts last night .We are not going to put up a tree but we are going to decorate the fireplace and give gifts Christmas morning. This is what my husband did growing up even though both his parents are Jewish. I really do not think the tree is harmful at all. I think it is a matter of personal preference. This is our compromise with each other and what we decided to do.My older children are not happy but not devestated. My father is fine with it. Now I live in Christain environment. My kids are usally the only Jewish kids in their class at school. My children have been taught to accept and respect our differences.We live with the Christmas decorations through out the town.neighborhood and work. Christmas is a very immportaint day to alot of people. I continue to share our faith especially at work. I work in a daycare/private . We do not get into the religious aspect but do recognize the holidays. Each year in my class we make and paint ornaments in the shapes of snow men ,christmas trees and dreidels. Amy's (my almost 4 year old ) teacher in preschool this year made menorahs with the children. Stacies teacher (my 20 month old ) decorates her room with garland trees ,the star of David and dreidelsMy advice is to gentley share your faith with others and you will see changes just like I have in my work place.I am the only person at my job that follows the Jewish faith and there is only one other child aside from mine that attends that are Jewish. I have seen over the years acceptance and respect for the Jewish faith grow.It does not happen overnight It does take time . This is what worked for me. Good luck to you. Carol

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Re: More troubles: at work and at school

Author: becca  Date:   12-15-03 20:54 It is an inperfect world. I am Jewish by choice. My family (parents, aunts, uncles and cousins) are Christians by choice, those that have not converted to agnostic. My children are loved by thier entire family. We celabrate both Christmas and Chanukah. After all, (this is personal taste issue) how can you fear of hate something you do not understand. My children have a deeper understanding of the tradition of Xmas trees than many "Christians" they also understand that we as a family have to be tolerent of other peoples feelings. as a result my family gives the children thier gifts for chanukah, and token presents ie socks, school clothes, books for Xmas. It takes work and patience to pull off December with grace and style, and I work at it all year long. Explaining my traditions to others, and listening patiently to others about thier traditions... As a result on friday night the first day of Chanukah, my home will be filled with children of 3 differnt faiths to eat, light the candles, listen to the prayers and to learn that the only difference between people is the things that make us the same, Faith, hope and love.

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Re:

Author: Sharon  Date:   12-17-03 07:05 I am Jewish married to a non-practicing Catholic raising our kids Jewish. We have a tree and lights, but we also celebrate Hanukkah. It is a difficult time, especially with the in-laws. We visit them for Christmas every year. My MIL made innapropriate comments the last time I brought a menorah to thier house,so I decided this year to start Hanukkah early, so it ends the day before we leave. It sounds like a terrible thing to have to do, but I think it is a great idea! We are now enjoying the holiday in our home and getting the most out of it. Friends said I should bring the menorah any way, and keep it in our room, but I did not like the idea of having to go up there away from the crowd to light a menorah, like we are hiding it. So starting it early has worked great. The kids do not know the real reason, and they are glad to get thier presents early. MY mother in-law is nother issue,but I think over time she may be OK with having jewish grandchildren....or maybe not. MY father in-law is great, by the way. Very accepting. Also, the schools around here are great too! They include Hanukkah in crafts for the kids,songs at the concert ect. They never leave anyone out. But this is upstate NY,and I am sure it is not that way in many other parts of the country. Yes....I will be glad when December is over. Christmas is overwhelming. Good luck to all!

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Re: troubles at work and school

Author: carol  Date:   12-17-03 17:28 Kathy, Since I was careful to buy in an area w/o a homeowners' assoc., I don't have to wrestle with the little 'fascists of uniformity' that tend to make up such association's boards. <g> However, again, I really don't see anything particularly Christian or particularly anti-Jewish in luminaries. Having someone tell you exactly how you have to decorate is terribly annoying though. I guess I'm wondering in what ways you feel the teachers and neighbors are being intolerant other than the luminaria? The example you gave about your co-workers decorating their office space for Christmas doesn't strike me as intolerance - just openly celebrating their own tradition. Tolerance is accepting that people should be able to do that. I'd suggest decorating your own space for Hanukah and also for other Jewish holidays rather than berating your co-workers. Same with school. A bit of gentle education goes a lot farther than angry confrontation. Bring in latkes or jelly doughnuts for the holiday party and explain the meaning of Hanukah. Especially in the years when Christmas and Hanukah don't over lap, I bet the kids will be fascinated by the opportunity to participate in another celebration. My point is, you catch more flies with honey. You can't reasonably demand that everyone else damp down their celebrating to accommodate you, so you have to find ways to work your celebrating in and make it just as special. Granted Hanukah is a minor holiday, but there are a lot of major - and fun! - ones and frankly more of them than on the Christian calendar. Celebrate those and go all out. Then December won't seem so oppressive because it will just be the month when the rest of the kids and neighbors get to catch up to you a little.

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Re: luminaria

Author: Rosie  Date:   12-18-03 11:14 Kathy, On my first reading of your post, I shuddered and thanked God I don't live in that kind of neighborhood. But I suppose you have your reasons for choosing to live there. Then again, it always seemed to ironic to me that every year our Festival of Lights, which is older than Christianity, seems more and more to be outshone and eclipsed by the bigger, brighter, bolder holiday. It has reached such a point that all the outdoor lights and neon Santas and flashing trees etc. make the one Jewish family on the block appear to live in darkness! So here's what I'm thinking now: Luminaria are less obnoxious than some of the junk people put up right after Thanksgiving. If I'm not mistaken, the tradition grew up in Spain, which once had a major Jewish population, so for all I know, it might originally have been a Spanish Jewish custom. Just speculating there. In any case, if your neighbors can limit things to these understated lights on the ground, I think that could give the street an atmosphere of elegance and serenity which IMHO we don't see enough of this time of year. Maybe you can assert your distinctiveness without alienating your neighbors. How about doing Chanuka luminaria? Perhaps you could just do them for the eight days, and make them blue and white instead of red and green, and cut out little dreydl or magen David-shaped holes instead of holy or bell-shaped holes.

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Re: Interfaith Christmas

Author: Ed  Date:   12-21-03 23:45 I sympathize with your feelings of mixing the secular symbolism and true religious traditions. As a Christian raised Catholic, I have grown up in an environment that ties the two together outside of the Church. As a result the meaning of the Holiday has been publicly diluted. Now as a Father of two Jewish children I am fully aware of my responsibility in supporting the teachings of their mother while providing the nostalgic climate of my own past. My wife understands the cultural/religious practices in my Church and accept them as long as they do not overshadow her beliefs in the childrens' eyes.

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Re: Chris's Dilemma

Author: BostonAli  Date:   12-24-03 09:17 Chris, This is a very late reply to your question about kids with a Christian mom and Christmas and them growing up to want to be Christian, not Jewish. My mom is Christian and my dad is Jewish and I was raised Jewish. Mostly, cultural, rather than religious, but we went to shul on high holidays. We also celebrated Christmas with my mother's parents, and since they are no longer alive at my parents house. Christmas was never anything more than a fun holiday about snowmen, Santa, family, stockings, fire places, and candy canes. To my mother, Christmas is about the memories of her childhood that she wants us to experiance. Now I am an adult and will marry a Jewish man in 9 months. We ourselves are trying to decide what to do about Christmas, since we plan on raising our children in a completely Jewish home. Clearly, having Christmas did not change my religious beleifs. If Christmas falls on Hanukkah, we make a big deal of lighting the Menorah at the right time and we have a Star of David on top of the Christmas tree and we have blue and white ribbons on it too. We make all the holidays our own, but I never forget that I am Jewish, and I hope, no matter what, my children feel the same way.

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Re:

Author: Sharon  Date:   12-29-03 07:37 I just finished a week of Christmas at the in-laws... I am Jewish raising Jewish children and married to a non-practicing Catholic. He has said that he tolerates my religion, and usually seperates himself from any Jewish celebration...I have brought him to temple dinners a few times though. His mother also dislikes me raising her grandchildren Jewish, and has said a few rude remarks over the years. Once was when I brought a menorah to thier house during Christmas, she said she did not like it. The other time was when my daughter was visiting for a week without us. She told her being Jewish was bad!!!! (She has never stayed there since). My FIL is fine with the religion,though,and feels bad that his wife is rude. Anyway..this past week we visited for Christmas. She really went all-out, getting lots of new decorations, ect. The kids had a great time. It troubles me that they are having such wonderful Christmas fun....but it is something I must accept. Also, my daughter (who is 8)believes Santa gave her things, and I must keep my mouth shut and let her believe it,or else I am considered a Grinch. (When do they stop believing?) My husband does put up a tree and lights,but that is it. Anyway, I was plesantly surprised when my MIL gave me a pair of socks that said 'Happy Chanukkah' on them. It is the first time she has ever done something positive with my religion. Then I was really surprised when my husband gave me a necklace with a jewish star! It really meant alot, esp. that he gave it to me in front of his family. I did change Hanukkah by starting it early, so we could celebrate it at home. But I feel it was more enjoyable at home,instead of there. Maybe someday we will celebrate both together..(when his mother passes away perhaps). Anyway, that is my experience. I hope the kids celebrating Christmas 'to the MAX' doesn't effect thier choice of religion later on.... I really don't think it does,but I just am not sure what will happen 10 years from now. Thanks for letting me ramble!

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Re: Christmas Confusion

Author: Nicolette  Date:   01-03-04 01:04 I'm jewish-by-choice and am married to a non-religious man. Like him, I was raised in a non-religious family where we put out christmas decorations (tree, lights, and all that stuff) but didn't celebrate it as a religious holiday, but a time when our family got together. I've never even stepped foot in a church, save for a funeral and a wedding or two. My dilemma is this: although it is a year away, i'm worried. Is it wrong of me to still celebrate "Christmas" (more like a December Gathering)? I love the holiday season and have many cherished memories attached to it, but no religious ones at all. I'm very distraught at this as I am the only one who is Jewish (in-laws included), and don't want to aleinate or feel alienated at a time that i once enjoyed. Any suggetsions?

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Re: Nicolette

Author: Jenny Genser  Date:   01-06-04 11:59 I'm in a very similar situation. My Dad was an agnostic lapsed Jew; my Mom is an atheist Secular Humanist who was raised as a Methodist. Our family enthusiastically celebrated Christmas with all of the old English traditions (up to plum pudding with a flaming liquor sauce as the grande finale for the Christmas dinner). I now have a nine-year-old daughter and am affiliated with and active in a synagogue. At home, we decorate for Chanukah and celebrate Chanukah. However, I have no problem with visiting my family laden with Christmas gifts and joining in the party. I'll even sing carols, but I personally draw the line at those that say "Christ our Savior" or the like -- I will "la la la" rather than sing.

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Re: Please discuss this question

Author: Sarah  Date:   08-02-04 03:30 True. It's cultural and a very important way to bond and understand one another. With an open mind, and an open heart, it can also become a religious experience, but that must be a personal choice.

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Re:

Author: Sarah  Date:   08-02-04 03:41 I personally am thankful for the rich cultural, spiritual, and religious background given to me by my Catholic mother and Jewish father. We celebrated both holidays and learned about both religions. I plan to do the same for my own children. I feel fortunate to have a partner who embraces this as well. I can see how different beliefs can cause problems within a family, but on open mind and an open heart can usually cure most disagreements. Love of one another is what unites a family.

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Re:

Author: mpfreed  Date:   08-03-04 04:53 Sarah, Because of your mixed parentage you certainly enjoy a rich and varied heritage. But can you tell us in which religion, Judaism or Christianity, you are bringing up your children ?

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Offensive or Not??

Author: Amie  Date:   08-14-04 14:58 I am a non-practicing Christian woman married to a Jewish man. I am starting conversion classes this month. I know this is a little early, but I wanted to know if it would be considered "Christian" or non-Jewish to send out an annual family "holiday" letter around Hanukkah and Christmas time (Hanukkah for us and his family, Christmas for my family). If we were to do an annual family letter, would it be more appropriate around the upcoming High Holy Days for the Jewish relatives? Also, although we have agreed to no longer decorate for Christmas, I still wish to create warmth in our home with Hanukkah decorations. Now, would it be considered too "Christian" of me to have these decorations for the bullk of December? Finally, how offensive would it be for me to have "winter decorations" such as snowmen? Thank you in advance for anyone who answers.

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Re: Offensive or Not??

Author: Ellen  Date:   08-16-04 02:07 Amie, If your husband is Jewish and you are planning to become Jewish, then it would be more appropriate to send you holiday greetings around the Jewish (your family's own) holidays than around the Christian (not your family's own) holidays. Putting up Chanukah decorations is not really offensive, but remember that Chanukah is the least important of all Jewish holidays. If you really want to put up decorations, it would make more sense to do it around a more important holiday: Sukkot, Pesach, Shavuot, even Purim.

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Re: Welcome to our discussions!

Author: Danette  Date:   11-08-04 15:40 I'm dating this guy who is Jewish, and I am not Jewish, and I have some things that confuse me about his religion. I'm really interested in him and we've only been dating for a couple of months, but I was wondering what to get someone for Hannakuh when you have celebrated Christmas all your life.

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Celebrating Hanukkah

Author: Laura  Date:   11-15-04 10:44 I chose Judaism 11 years ago. My husband is in his second-to-last year at rabbinic school -- his passion for Judaism reawakened while accompanying me to conversion classes! We have two children ages 12 and 7. When our oldest child was 4, I still missed Christmas... I had no dilemma per se, but missed some of the rituals that I enjoyed as a child. However, my husband and I had decided that we would not put up Christmas decorations. A tree was out, lights were pushing it, so what to do? I used to love advent calendars as a child, and so decided to try and apply the concept to Hanukkah. I created a flat rectangular box, appliqued a felt menorah on the front, with felt candles, stars and other decorations. My daughter added stickers. At the top of each unlit "candle" I cut a "window". Inside each window I pasted a felt candle flame, and then stuck down a piece of gelt (or perhaps it was a chocolate Macabee!) over the flame. I closed the windows and then, on the first night of Hanukkah, at candle lighting time, my daughter opened the first window over the first candle (to copy what the adults were doing with the real menorah) and took out the chocolate to reveal the flame and "light" the candle! Both our children have enjoyed our Hanukkah calendar (I had to make another for our son) over the years and bugged me to make them for lots of kids, and so this year, in partnership with my sister, I have! We are calling them Hanukkah Celebration Calendars. You can make the Hanukkah calendar yourself out of a flat gift box (like a shirt box), some felt or foam, glue, stickers, small gelt... or you can buy a ready-made one at www.aberleygifts.com. I think the lesson I learned is that I didn't have to completely lose myself in Judaism; that it was still important to keep a part of myself and of my history even as I, my husband, and our children created new family traditions around the holidays. My message to Amie regarding when to send out a holiday family message is to do it when she feels most comfortable, even if it means a December letter for her family and a September/October letter for the Jewish family (non-Jewish family members might think it's a little weird to be getting a holiday message in September). I still send out "holiday" cards to non-Jewish friends and family but buy the ones that are the most non-Christmas (ones that just say "Peace"). I stay away from any Christian symbols. Strings of lighted dreidels and hanukkiahs are great for filling that "light" gap and they get tangled just as well as did the Christmas lights that I had to untangle every year with my father. And referring back to a posting much earlier in the discussion about Sukkot, it is really really important to throw yourself into every Jewish holiday, particularly with your children. There are plenty of holidays to fill that need to gather with family and friends, decorate, cook etc etc, and they are wonderful wonderful holidays, of which Hanukkah is really only a minor one. Hanukkah's juxtaposition against Christmas is what has given it the image of being important. Happy Hanukkah!

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Re: luminaria

Author: Debbie Parker  Date:   12-11-04 21:25 What is the meaning of luminaria at Christmas? If I am Jewish and my neighborhood us asks to put them out for Christmas.. should we?

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Re:

Author: rita  Date:   12-12-04 20:52 Please help!!! I am a first grade teacher at an elementary school in rural southern Georgia. Our teachers are planning a Christmas around the world unit and we need help with easy to make snacks that could be served in observance of Hanakuah. If you have any suggestions, I would appreciate it. Thanks

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Re: Please discuss this question

Author: seth  Date:   12-12-04 21:51 Depends on the inlaws! Seth

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Re: Debbie Parker & Rita posts

Author: BobP  Date:   12-12-04 22:18 Debbie - I'm not sure of the "official" meaning of luminaria, but at Christmas they are (in my opinion) Christian "symbols". If you are comfortable with the idea, you can certainly put some out. If you do not want to possibly be identified as Christian, you probably should not. Rita - You write <<Our teachers are planning a Christmas around the world unit and we need help with easy to make snacks that could be served in observance of Hanakuah.>> PLEASE do not include Hanukah in this class. The MEANING of Hanukah is a statement against (forced) assimilation - and including Hanukah in a Christmas class seems wrong to me. I believe that you don't mean any disrespect, and are trying to be "inclusive". But Hanukah - despite the way it's often portrayed in the media - is NOT the "Jewish Christmas" - and should not be included in a Christmas class.

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Re: Chanukah snacks

Author: Roy Blake  Date:   12-14-04 16:00 Bob's right that Chanukah is not the Jewish Christmas. But sometimes schools like to combine "winter holiday traditions" into one time slot. For instance, Diwali isn't the Hindu Christmas either, but around here it sometimes gets included in such a celebration. Assuming that's the idea, and there is no pretence that Chanukah is Christmas (which would, I suppose, make Jews Christians, not a concept most Jews would feel comfortable with!), I think a snack is in order. The quintessential Chanukah snack is latkes (potato pancakes), of course, and recipes are easy to find, including on this site. However, that might be a bit ambitious in a classroom, as it involves cooking with hot oil, or possibly heating pre-cooked latkes in the microwave, if there is one. How about "Chanukah gelt", consisting of foil-wrapped chocolate coins? They are easy to get and no work at all. My kids have been taking them to our local public school at Chanukah for years. Sometimes they take dreidels as well --- the kids play for the "money" but divide up the chocolate evenly at the end of the game, lest anyone be sensitive about the idea of "gambling."

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Re: Chanukah snacks

Author: Rosie  Date:   12-14-04 19:31 Not only do I agree with BobP about Chanukah not being the "Jewish Christmas," but I would hesitate to recommend that anyone try frying food in oil around a group of six and seven-year-olds. To me it would make more sense to want for another more important Jewish holiday (Purim, Pesach, Shavuot, Rosh Hashana, Sukkot) and prepare less perilous snacks (hamantashen, charoset, blintzes, apples and honey, stuffed tomatoes).

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Re: luminaria

Author: Maureen  Date:   12-18-04 11:07 The word luminaria means lights in Latin, and you'll find a number of meanings as to why people put them out for the holidays. One theory is that the luminaria glow just as the stars did one night in Bethlehem. Another theory is that it signifies how Christ has lit the way for those of us who are Christian. All of these may be offensive if you're Jewish, but a friend of mine had the same dilemma when their townhome association asked everyone to put luminaria out at the end of their property so the entire pond would be lit up. They pondered, they prayed, they asked their other Jewish friends who were all divided in their opinions, and in the end, they went to the Association and said, "We'll put the luminaria out because we're good neighbors, but if someone else would light them, we'd be a lot more comfortable with this." Their next door neighbors thanked them and offered to light the candles every night Some of their Jewish friends hassled them, but they always responded with, "hey - they're bags of sand with a stupid candle that we don't even light, so what's the big deal?" Having them at the end of the back of your property is a little different, however, than having them on your walkway in the front. If you're not comfortable putting them out, I would just politely state that you don't celebrate Christmas and you don't want your relatives to have a heart attack when they come visit during Chanukah. ;-)

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Re:

Author: sammi  Date:   12-18-04 21:28 I came across this site by accident, then to my surprise I found out that I had a book from this site!!! I am very happy to see that there is a site that promotes UNDERSTANDING rather than one that makes us non Jews feel unwelcome. Judaism, Christianity has a lot more in common that most care to admit. Family, Community, Children, Brotherhood, Morals are the top priortiy in both religions, yet what separates us is fear that if we intermix that we will lose our religion, yet what makes me laugh at that thought is, only we as individuals have the power to lose who we are, so if we are weak in our beliefs then yes we will change, but if we are strong then I say GO WITH GOD, and no matter the obstacle you will rise above it. That is the message I wish to spread because if anything my boyfriend and I have strengthen our beliefs because we are not scared to unite what we belive in our hearts is pure love and faith. God only gives us what we can bare, so if we really take a look at our life from a distance we will see we are much stronger than we really are. And for those who are lacking the strength, then this is where brotherhood/sisterhood plays an active role to help guide those who are in need. My Christmas wish is this, for love to over power those wo are afraid to embrace GOD, GO WITH GOD and spread the word of love no matter what the religion. My other Christmas wish is that how I embraced Hannukah for it's beauty and help celebrate it by giving to charity's, I hope that the Jewish community can see that Christmas does not take anything away, but what it does bring is moments of joy within children, and if anything helps the community to be moved by the spirit to share and help more. I know that in any religion you have your fanatics that takes beauty and make it into politics, but in my faith we believe in Love and GOD IS LOVE. Decemeber is not a month I will ever fear when I get married to my Jewish boyfriend, it is a wonderful time to celebrate 2 holidays that are not the same, but same in love and family. Life is never simple because we as people make it hard. If we really believe in God, then lets stop Judging and start embracing. God is the only that can judge. I say these things with love, and will love to continue to join the discussions if only I am helping, if not then I apologize if I have offended. God Bless ALL.

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Re:

Author: sammi  Date:   12-18-04 21:51 Hi Rita, I just read your post and if I may make a suggestion it would be to first realize that Hannukah and Christmas are not the same. I am a christian who is in a relationship with a wonderful orthodox jewish man and I am not going to convert when we get married and his family is ok thus far with that. We have decided to raise our future children jewish with an understanding of my faith. You see it is possible to educate children about the differences in Jewish\Christian holidays, but what can not be done is to confuse them by saying Hannukah is like Christmas, or any other of the holidays. What should of been done is when Hannukah started to educate them on what the holiday is about and what they eat, the games they play, and so on, and why it is celebrated. December is a month that is often hard on interfaith families, but in my opinion for what is worth is to make it as simple as possible because you see Christianity and Judaism has a lot more in common than most care to admit. We both love our familes, believe in community, want our children to be in a unity where love and support is surrounding them, brotherhood/sisterhood. What separates us is the fact that each religion has very special holidays that hold importance for differnt reasons, and no one should try to assume that this holiday is like that holiday. What would be nice is for the support of each community to respect each others religion by understanding what it means. I hope that I was able to help. I am only 25 and I know I have a lot still left to learn, but my love of God just makes me hopd and pray for a day where solutions are found easily, rather than allowing problems to overcome happiness. God Bless EVERYONE. 25 and still learning

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Re: Sammi's posts

Author: Roy Blake  Date:   12-19-04 10:47 I'm a formerly Christion agnostic with a Jewish wife and kids. Yesterday we put up the Christmas tree. We left the Happy Hanukah sign up, even though Hanukah's over, because we felt like it. After so many years I'm actually a bit tired of the fuss of Christmas trees, but my 11 year old, and very Jewish, daughter wouldn't hear of giving up the tree. And she's right --- Christmas is a beautiful holiday, and it's part of her family heritage even though she doesn't believe the story (neither do I for that matter.) When we first had kids it was actually my wife who suggested we get a tree, even though she grew up in a Jewish neighbourhood where no one had one, because by then she had found out how much I had enjoyed my childhood Christmasses. My advice to all at this season is to lighten up a bit. A Christmas tree or luminaria (not a custom in these parts though) won't cause anyone to change their religion. Christmas and Hanukah are certainly very different holidays, but since they come so close together they naturally tend to overlap a bit, into what my wife calls Hanumishmash. They do have in common the aspects of rejoicing and of spending time with one's family, so let's just enjoy that part.

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True!

Author: Elysha  Date:   12-20-04 18:40 I was raised with a somewhat observant Reform Jewish father, and a non-affiliated mother who subscribed much more to New Age philosophies, although we celebrated Christmas. Christmas has never been religious to me. My mom always just enjoyed the decorating, food and family time, and same as myself. Me? Well, I was raised with an extensive knowledge of Jewish customs, didn't affiliate myself with anything, and now, as I get further into my 20s, have joined a Reconstructionist synagogue (which is much more in tune with my multi-faitih beliefs) and participate proudly in the rituals of my heritage. My in laws, on the other hand, are very open-minded Christians. Christmas dinners with them were the first ones where Jesus was even mentioned. However, there is no uncomfortable long prayers or any church. I have stepkids, and their mother is Christian. So it complicates things a bit. I decided finally this year to have them participate in the Jewish holidays, because we are a part of each others lives, and they enjoyed it immensely! My stepson made a killing at dreidel =). When I have my own children, I believe I will raise them with Judaism and give them a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, because I believe strongly in raising them proud and knowledgeable of their heritage. Christianity is everywhere you look, and I will always have a tree because of my stepkids, my husband and in-laws.. but it will always be purely cultural in my house.

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Re: what about Sukkot?

Author: helen  Date:   12-24-04 13:20 We did not have our own sukkah because we do not have children yet. My parents do however and we go over there. There is nothing that represents Christmas or any other non-Jewish holiday. We made an agreement that this would be a Jewish home. For Hanukkah this yr, we had Dreidel lights, an electric menorah wich was lit every night, and lit the candels with the shade up, Hanukkah table cloth etc.. We do go to his parents for christmas eve and his aunt and uncle's for christmas it is not something that I get excited about and we do not technically celebrate the holiday. He did not convert how ever. The only presents that we give each other our Hanukkah gifts.

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Re: Luminaria

Author: David  Date:   12-26-04 19:01 I had never heard about luminaria, so I learnt something new! they don't have them around here - upstate New York. Yesterday I went to a Christmas Dinner for the first time ever (I am 40). Growing up in England as in Orthodox Judaism not in a Jewish area we found Christianity to be oppressive and scary - it is the official state religion there (compulsory prayers and religious education in schools, though members of other faiths can opt out - very obvious they are opting out though). I like the atmosphere in the multicultural US and Australia (where I have also lived) much better and gradually I can be more accepting of these other traditions rather than being scared by them. I also have lived in Israel. It was weird to be a member of the majority :) BTW my mother converted to Judaism which complicates my attitudes to all these things too...

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