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Interfaith Families and the Synagogue - Page 1
By Elizabeth Clarke
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Page 1
| Interfaith Families and the Synagogue |
Author: InterfaithFamily.com Editor (---.home.net)
Date: 10-31-00 14:15
Please post your responses to the articles by Rabbi Gordon, Rachel Barenblat, and Rose Levinson here, and respond to our question, what would you like synagogues to do to make you feel welcome? |
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| Rachel's essay on Jewish insularity |
Author: Emily Blank (138.238.73.---)
Date: 11-03-00 14:48
Rachel,
I can relate to everything you say in your essay. My problem, as you put it, comes from the fact that less Hebrew sometimes means less kavvanah to me. Also, I like to, when leading services, add in interesting melodies I've picked up. This makes the service more interesting (especially for me), but at the same time makes some people excluded because the melody is unfamiliar. So, as you say, it's not just an interfaith issue. |
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| Feeling welcome at a shul |
Author: Gittel (---.dialup12.voicenet.com)
Date: 11-04-00 14:50
When my mother died, I went to synagogue every evening for many months to say kaddish as part of the minyin. When I didn't show up one day, then another, no one called to check on me, even though I only live one block away.
In Philadelphia, I have always had the feeling as a child and into my teens the only questions asked upon attending a service were who were your parents and what do they do ( and heaven forbid, in the 50's and 60's that your mother worked outside as anything other than a teacher or co-owner of the store). Even as an adult now well over 21, I can enter a synagogue and no one greets me, says hello and welcome, and engages me in any conversation. Even when I say hello first, the acknowlegement is less than enthusiastic, and therefore I s remain an outsider since I don't go often. I come alone as my husband is not Jewish, and I don't have children. Even a nod would be better than nothing at all to show I exist as a part of the community.
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| If only we could have our cake and eat it, too! |
Author: Susan (---.milwaukee.k12.wi.us)
Date: 11-05-00 15:39
Rachel:
How about education? If you want to take your husband to a synagogue where he doesn't understand what's going on, he can study Hebrew and then he will understand.
In defense of Conservative Judaism, which allows more independence of thought and more political liberalism than you seem willing to give it credit for, we already have one movement in Judaism (Reform) which has made changes to be more accessible to gentiles. I can understand and sympathize with your feelings, but is it fair to ask the rest of us to change something that works for us and follow suit, simply because you chose to marry this particular person? If my congregation and my movement were to take the same route Reform has taken, then within a century, there would be nothing left of Jewry but the Orthodox and perhaps a few surviving people who called themselves "Reform Jews" but who would need to undergo Orthodox conversion. |
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| RE: Rachel Barenblat's essay |
Author: alexisyael (---.244.74.145.LosAngeles1.Level3.net)
Date: 11-05-00 15:43
The most interesting part about this article to me is that it completely describes my husband and I's two different approaches to Judaism EXCEPT that in our case, I am the Jew-by-choice (to be) and he is the JBB! In our home, I am the one clamoring to attend services that include more Hebrew (which I can't really read yet, but have mostly memorized and am still studying) while he, the product of years of a (Reform) Jewish education, feels that Conservative services are "too unfamilar."
We recently reached a compromise by attending Reconstructionist services for High Holydays, and I am prepared to go back to that synagogue (which is much further from our house) for my conversion process. (Recon. provides transliterations and translations, but prayer is mostly in Hebrew -- which is sometimes changed for egalitarian reasons. The downside is that for my husband, the changed Hebrew is very off-putting and he is not very happy about having to re-learn melodies. But -- since melodies change even from one Reform synagogue to another, he understands that unless we go back home for the HolyDays, he's gonna need to learn new melodies anyways.)
Another point that I dont see mentioned often is this -- because we Jews by choice have had to learn so much cultural/ religious information so quickly, we seem to be also more adept at learning to switch synagogues more quickly. That's an interesting thesis of mine which would make a neat research topic!
alexisyael
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| melodies |
Author: Susan (---.milwaukee.k12.wi.us)
Date: 11-05-00 16:15
alexisyael:
I find that the melodies change within the same synagogue on a week-by-week basis depending on what mood the cantor is in. Other than that, I can go along with what you write, because my husband, who grew up pretty orthodox without giving religion much thought, sometimes sees me as overdoing things in the zeal to learn. |
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| Jewish Insularity |
Author: Malcom (---.new-york-68-69rs.ny.dial-access.att.net)
Date: 11-06-00 15:25
Rachael's argument is flawed by the purpose she gives to the religious service. The purpose of a religious service is to pray to G-d. In fact, the only purpose of community prayer is that when ten men pray together, G-d enjoins all of the prayers as one, giving it greater streingth and guaranteeing that G-d will accept it. It is insignificant what language the service is led in because each individual is really supposed to be praying alone. THis is a problem with reform and conservative davening. In reform and conservative davening, generally, people come and watch a person pray rather than praying themselves.
As for the issue of needing a transliterated or translated siddur, buy an artscroll or metsuda siddor for about $15 at any jewish bookstore. |
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| Multiple Truths |
Author: Edie Weinstein-Moser (---.COMCAT.COM)
Date: 11-17-00 18:52
I was raised a Conservative Jew who found the exclusivity of women to be frustrating at best and outrageous at worst. As a result, I explored other teachings and identify myself as a Resconstructionist Jew with multi-spiritual leanings. I am also an ordained Interfaith Minister who offers services to people of all faiths. It is my fervent belief that no one religion has the monoply on Truth and that there are many paths to the Divine.
I have been blessed to be a member of an interfaith community in Doylestown, PA called Pebble Hill, since 1984 and find it a welcoming place for folks of all traditions. The focus is on love and healing and it honors diversity. Rituals of all faiths are celebrated. If you are interested in learning more, call 215-348-3428.
Wishing you peace.
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| "Welcoming" is a matter of definition. |
Author: Doc (---.doe.gov)
Date: 11-20-00 13:59
Most synagoges, and churches for that matter, that I've attended aren't willing to tailor their "product" for interfaith couples. They're like the big auto companies in the fifties. They made one kind of car, and if you didn't want it, too bad. That's Judaism today. It's one product (lots of Hebrew, politically liberal, and almost no talk of G-d) and despite all the talk about wanting to bring in interfaith couples, no synagogue in my neighborhood has ever spoken to interfaith couples as to what we want.
I'm not asking for Judaism to change its soul, but how about a service using the old Reform liturgy? That way, at least my prospective wife could understand what's going on. For that matter, so could I. |
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| View of a Catholic spouse |
Author: Cathy Braunstein (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: 11-20-00 21:21
Hi!
As the Catholic spouse of a Jewish man, I found the shul to which my husband belongs a wonderful and very welcoming place. They respect my beliefs (one of the V.P's and I actually had a conversation about one of the Gospels - and he knew more than I did!) and I respect theirs. While there are certain parts of the Jewish service that, as a non-Jew, I am not able to participate in I do not take it as an insult. That's the way it is. My husband is welcome to come to church with me, but he is not allowed to receive communion. Should he be insulted, or is it just a public acknowledgement of something that we should know from common sense?
Also, I don't think that Rabbi's learn to be clairvoyant in school. If I want to convert, then it shouldn't be contingent upon someone asking me. Shouldn't I be adult enough to say that this is what I want? When we joined the shul, one VP told me of how this one spouse converted, and I told them point blank that I wasn't, and that was enough for them. Case closed. I think that if we want a community to be true to our needs, then we have to be honest with them, and ourselves, what these needs really are.
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| To Change or Not To Change the Siddur |
Author: Heidi Travis (206.11.253.---)
Date: 11-20-00 23:58
I agree that the morning prayer "...who has made me a Jew" feels exclusionary. As a conversion candidate I do not say this particular line, and won't until after my conversion is complete out of respect for the Jews around me, and respect for the truth. I am not, as yet, a Jew. However, changing it to "...who has made me of the people Israel" is really saying the same thing, only using different words. Gentiles are NOT of the people Israel, a.k.a. Israelites/Jews. We are not descended from those that stood at Sinai and received the Law. Gentiles are the inclusive "everybody else" that the term "non-Jew" refers to. If we wanted to change that particular line in the prayerbook to feel and sound less exclusionary, then it should be thanking G-d in this way: "...who has made the Jews" or "...who has made the people Israel." |
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Author: Peter (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: 11-25-00 19:36
Maybe the reason the congregations VP knew more about the gospels than you did was that maybe he/she was Christian too. |
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| Ed Case's Article on "who made me a Jew" |
Author: Shaul Levenson (---.214.105.31.Boston1.Level3.net)
Date: 11-28-00 15:53
Dear Ed,
I agree there's a problem. The Reform prayerbook is the only one left of the big denominations that hasn't completed its 'Gender Neutral' (for G-d) edition.My suggestion would be, "Thank You (Baruch Atah), Holy One of Blessing (Elohaynu Melech HaOlam), who created me to be able to love and support the People of Israel" (asher asah-nee ohayv v'tomach et Am Yisrael).
Shaul Levenson
InterfaithFamily.com Editor wrote:
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Please post your responses to the articles by Rabbi Gordon, Rachel Barenblat, and Rose Levinson here, and respond to our question, what would you like synagogues to do to make you feel welcome? |
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| Response to Peter |
Author: Cathy Braunstein (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: 12-02-00 00:56
Just to clarify, the V.P. is a wonderfully well-read man who is not Christian. This is a Reformed Synagouge, not a Messianic "Jewish" synagouge. |
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Author: Peter (---.proxy.aol.com)
Date: 12-02-00 20:16
I have heard of 'reform temples' but never 'reformed synagogues'. The phrase 'reformed' is usually a reference to a Protestant church (eg the Dutch Reformed Church. And the reform generally refer to their congregations as temples.
Of course this could be another branch of Judaism that I hadn't heard of. Or the UAHC is becoming even less traditionally Jewish. |
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| ignore posting, testing software |
Author: IFF editors (---.ne.mediaone.net)
Date: 12-18-01 13:38
ignore posting, testing software |
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Author: kris (204.72.226.---)
Date: 02-21-02 13:05
Get some pictures |
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The person who leads a Jewish congregation in chanting and singing prayer. ("Hazzan" in Hebrew.)
In Christianity, when wine and a wafer, symbolic of the blood and body of Jesus Christ, are consumed.
People who attend and worship at a given synagogue.
God. In traditional Jewish circles, it is forbidden to write or say God\'s name, so God is typically written with the vowel (o) replaced by a hyphen.
The language of Judaism. Used in prayer in most synagogues and the official language of the state of Israel. Also refers to Jews, especially before they entered Israel and were given the Torah, as in "the ancient Hebrews."
The prayer extolling God that is said by mourners.
Spiritual leader and teacher. Typically, but not always, leads a congregation.
"Synagogue" in Yiddish.
Place of Jewish worship, referring to both the room where it occurs and the building where it occurs. Colloquially referred to as "temple."
Praying, in Yiddish.
Hebrew for prayerbook. Plural siddurim.
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Elizabeth Clarke writes for the Palm Beach Post.
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