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Parents' Feelings About Intermarried Children - Page 1
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Page 1
| Feeling About Children |
Author: InterfaithFamily.com Editors
Date: 05-15-02 19:17
Parents are invited to post comments here about how they feel about their interdating or intermarried children. |
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| Re: Parents only |
Author: Debbie
Date: 06-22-03 23:26
As the sister of two siblings who chose to intermarry, I find it interesting that this discussion is aimed only at parents. I have been actively searching for a forum for support and dialogue for my own experiences. Now, as my siblings and I have children, I find I am in more need of an outlet than ever. I made a conscious decision, especially after seeing the pain and strain endured by my siblings, their partners, and my parents, to marry another Jew. But now, as I plan my own family, I find myself wondering how I will talk to my children about intermarriage. As a liberal committed to a pluralistic society, I want to encourage my children to embrace others as equals. Also, their most of their cousins (my husband's brother also intermarried), will be the products of intermarried households. I sometimes recognize in myself nasty feelings of smugness or superiority, and don't want to pass that bigotry down to my children. At the same time, I have basked in the relative ease with which I have established my Jewish home with my husband, and I want to share with my children the strength and comfort I have found in my choice.
These are only some of the feelings and issues with which I have been grappling. Are there others out there who share my experience?
-Debbie |
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| Re: Feeling About Children |
Author: Caren
Date: 09-02-03 22:51
Hi Dr. Ruth Nemzoff,
Thank you for sharing your story.
I had a question about your last paragraph. When you stated, "We agreed that the children had shown sensitivity to us all by choosing the culturally, but not religiously, significant portions of their pasts", does that mean the children did not incorporate religion at all?
Thanks for the clarification.
Caren |
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| Re: Feeling About Children |
Author: Ruth Nemzoff
Date: 09-04-03 14:20
You asked what I meant in the last paragraph of my article that the children chose " cultural, but not religiously significant portions from their traditions for the wedding ceremony." You asked whether that meant that they did not incorporate religion at all. If by that you mean, did they have a ceremony typical of a particular religious group, the answer is "No." If by that you mean, were some religious aspects of each tradition a part of the ceremony, the answer is "Yes." |
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| Re: Parents only |
Author: Ruth Nemzoff
Date: 09-04-03 14:24
You raise important issues. I am not a sibling of a person who intermarried. However, intermarriage affects the whole family. I encourage you to write about your inner stuggle with the issues of intermarriage and to both dialogue with your siblings and with other siblings of intermarried persons. Perhaps you will talk with your children about why "Daddy and I" made the decisions we have and what have been the benefits. |
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