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Why I Do What I Do

January 16, 2013 by Ilene Mogavero   Comments (0)

Sunday School, hebrew school, Interfaith Families, holocaust survivors, education

By Dori Stern, Education Director, Sunday School for Jewish Studies

About once a month I am asked a version of the following questions:

So, tell me why do you do what you do?

How did you end up directing a school that is becoming increasingly a school not only for traditional Jewish families but also for interfaith, inter-everything and definitely populated by some who are ardent non-joiners?

These are valid questions, especially since my graduate work was at Brandeis in the Hornstein Program for Jewish Communal Service. I thought that I might be a fundraiser for Combined Jewish Philanthropies in Boston, or some other well-established, mainstream organization. Those of you who know me well are undoubtedly laughing uproariously right now, because you realize that I have totally no aptitude for financial issues.

Also, the above questions become particularly interesting when it is known that both my parents were holocaust survivors. But their version of Judaism was all about us vs. them; being different and feeling like outsiders. It was rarely about celebrating the joys of Judaism.

And I suppose therein lies the answer. I never want Judaism to be about us vs. them. I never want someone to feel like an outsider because they don't have the proper ancestors. And I never want children to feel excluded for whoever and whatever their family is or does.

One of our parents recently pointed out to me that I draw no line in the sand when considering who is Jewish nor how to be Jewish. That is accurate. It is indeed who I am. I also believe that this unguarded view of Judaism is a necessity. It is imperative to consider that if Judaism is to exist generations from today, we will all need to redefine whom and what is a Jew.

Judaism has always risen to the challenge of redefining itself. I am hopeful that it will continue to find ways to share its wealth of moral, social and ethical beliefs. I am hopeful that it will continue to find ways to share the beauty of it's liturgy and it's wonderfully nourishing life cycle events.

So here is the answer:

I do what I do, obviously because of, or in spite of, my background. I started this effort wanting to work within the Jewish community. I now work inside and outside of the Jewish community, eager to make the best of Judaism accessible to all who want to learn about Judaism. My goal is to convey Judaism to all the remarkable, non-joining, sometimes ambivalent, searching people and their children who are probing for meaning and community in their lives. I am pleased to be able to accomplish this purpose at the Sunday School for Jewish Studies.

December Holidays - The Interfaith Mash Up

November 27, 2012 by Ilene Mogavero   Comments (0)

Celebrations, Chanukah, Christmas, Sunday School, Sunday School for Jewish Studies, interfaith

Our interfaith family has had a pretty laid back approach to the holiday dilemma. I come from a Scandinavian tradition, so the December holidays are in many ways more cultural than religious. It was a time of year of candles and celebrations in my grandparents’ native Denmark because it also was a time of year with little daylight. The holidays dispelled some of the cold and dark. The holidays were always a special time in my family too with a visit to my grandmother where the whole big family came together and we saw cousins and second cousins we saw just once a year. And of course growing up in the Midwest I remember Christmas concerts at school and the community Christmas sing a long. These were fond memories and family traditions that I wanted to be able to share with my own child.
I grew up a Catholic but in a family of many faiths – Episcopal, United Church of Christ, Lutheran, and Unitarian. My husband grew up in a Jewish household and wanted to ensure we raised our son with a Jewish education. For me, I’d had my fill of religious education at parochial school and CCD classes and knew I didn’t want that for my child. Church and religious education were something we were made to do. Our family was lucky to find the Sunday School for Jewish Studies. There were lots of families like ours at SSJS and our son got a great Jewish education there in a once-a-week format that didn’t make him feel like we were making him go or pushing religion on him. Two years ago we celebrated a very spiritual and meaningful Bar Mitzvah that not only included all our non-Jewish family and friends, but that touched them deeply. Even our Jewish family was truly surprised at the Bar Mitzvah – it was so different from what they were used to yet also so meaningful. My husband I felt like we had found that middle ground and were happy we had chosen SSJS for our son.
We have few holiday conflicts these days. We’ve developed traditions for our family that include a Hanukah party, the menorah and of course our Christmas tree – a real holiday mash up. We enjoy the connection between the lights of Hanukah and the lights on the tree and I think back fondly to my grandmother and my Scandinavian roots. It all fits together somehow.

-Contributed by Margaret Albright, Sunday School for Jewish Studies Parent

December Holidays - A Family Celebration

November 27, 2012 by Ilene Mogavero   Comments (0)

interfaith, holidays, Christmas, Chanukah, Christmas and Chanukah, Celebrations, Sunday School for Jewish Studes, school, Sunday School, hebrew school

Both of my biological parents are Jewish. When I was 4 years old, my father remarried a Christian. Every winter break when I visited my father, we would celebrate Christmas with my step-mother’s family. My childhood memories include Passover with my Orthodox grandparents in Brooklyn, NY, Hanukkah with my mother and step-father in Newton, and Christmas in California with my dad, my step-mother and her family.

Ten years ago I became part of another interfaith family, my own. My husband is a non-practicing Christian and our children are being raised Jewish. We are fortunate to have found The Sunday School for Jewish Studies, a once-a-week Hebrew school where my children learn about their Jewish identity. They learn about the holidays, eat raisins under the sukkah, spin the dreidel, light candles, and participate in Passover Seders. And, like many of their SS4JS friends, on December 25th, they celebrate Christmas.

We just can’t help it. Christmas for me is a holiday of family traditions. Visiting my step-grandparents, filling stockings, opening presents, and eating Christmas pancakes are some of my favorite memories. For my husband, Christmas is the one Christian holiday he can’t do without. My 8 and 10 year old children now have their own Christmas traditions, decorating the tree, eating candy canes and hot chocolate, visiting their Christian cousins, and of course opening presents.

And yes, my kids have asked why we celebrate Christmas if we are Jewish. My husband and I explain that for us Christmas isn’t a religious holiday, it is a holiday about family.

-Contributed by Liz Davis, Parent and Board Co-President, Sunday School for Jewish Studies

Doing the Interfaith Shuffle

November 5, 2012 by Ilene Mogavero   Comments (0)

Newton, Religious School, hebrew school, education, children, interfaith

By Erica Noonan

Want to get a funny look at parties? Tell people you have a child named Dennis McCormick enrolled at the Sunday School for Jewish Studies.

First people make the most reasonable assumption: I must be a Jew who married an Irishman.

“What's your maiden name?” they ask.

“Noonan,” I say.

That doesn't clear anything up, so they peer at me a little more closely, searching for a reassuring Semitic look around the eyes and nose. It is there, so they start peppering me with questions.

So, ARE you Jewish? Which synagogue do you go to? What is the SS4JS?

At this point, I usually start babbling defensively. “Well, my dad is Catholic but my mom is half-Jewish, and a bunch of my relatives are Jewish, but I was baptized and had First Communion in the Episcopal Church, but a Unitarian did our wedding... And uh, David is an atheist, but he kind of likes the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but he put me in charge of the kids religious education because he likes to sleep late on Sunday, but I think atheism is too cynical of a view to press on children...”

The person now looks truly horrified, yet my mouth won’t stop moving.

“,so, anyhow, I am identifying more as an adult with Judaism, but we celebrate Christmas because the grandparents would kill us if we didn't, and we are part Christian. Uh, sort of...."

By now the person has backed away, suddenly remembering an urgent appointment to talk to someone else -- anyone else -- except me.

Oddly, traditionally raised Jewish people are often the least tolerant. There is the “you aren't Jewish enough to count” camp or the “your kids can't be Jewish!” delivered with a dismissive shake of the head. Or sometimes the discussion turns into a rather intimate genetic search-and-destroy mission capped off with, “so, WHAT was your mother’s mother?” Sometimes people sneer. Or say dismissively, "that interfaith stuff never works out."

It took years, but I have finally come to regard these folks as a gang of judgemental creeps. Because of decisions made three generation ago my kids don't get access to this thread of their heritage? Their bloodline is too muddied? Who gets the right to say that I am not “enough” of something to “count?”

My children’s grandparents passed down many excellent things -- but a well-defined relationship with God and a parochial attachment to ethnicity -- were not among them.

As children of the 1960s, my parents and in-laws thought they were doing us a gigantic favor by not imposing religious dogma or an airtight lifestyle choice. As an adult, I appreciate that.

I hope my kids are as equally grateful for the religious structure I am imposing on their generation. I want to give them access to Judaism, with its rich spiritual and intellectual heritage and its proud tradition of moral leadership and social justice. I want them to become compassionate and funny adults who love life.

So, every Sunday morning they go to SS4JS -- a place that manages to be welcoming, tolerant, yet intellectually rigorous enough so that Dennis, age 8, recently out "Alef Bet-ed" a kid belonging to one those those “real” Jewish people. (Who's sneering now, I ask you?)

Whenever I take them to Sunday School, I feel like I am making up for lost time. The kids know they can choose at age 13 what they want to be -- Jewish, Christian, atheist, or something else entirely.

I see the Sunday School, as one politician put it the context of immigration, as a path to citizenship. By then they will have earned a Jewish identity fair and square. It will be up to them to embrace it for life.

Shanah Tovah- A sweet New Year to you

September 9, 2012 by Rabbi Sigal   Comments (0)

spirituality, Inspirations, Rabbi, Yogi, Jewish New Year

The year is coming to an end and the new year potent with possibilities is approaching.
What are the wishes of the heart for the new year?
What do you want to release and let go?

Take time to reflect and open the heart to forgiveness. Forgiving yourself and others is the royal road to happiness and joy.
Read more at:

Shanah Tova! May the new year be pregnant with new possibilities and joy for you and family.

Rabbi Schwartz would welcome an invitation to conduct Rosh haShanah and/or Yom Kippur services

June 9, 2011 by Rabbi Stanley Howard Schwartz   Comments (0)

yom kippur, rosh hashanah, Hazzan, Chazzan, Cantor, Rabbi, Yomim No-ra-im, Fall Holy Days

In 2005-2006, I served part time as the rabbi of Congregation Sholom Aleichem with Cantor Isaac Kriger. We have wanted to share a bimah for the Fall Holy Days again ever since. If your congregation, traditional or liberal wants an inspiring Rosh haShanah and Yom Kippur, please contact us here in Central Florida. Cantor Kriger lives in Orlando with his talented voice coach/accompanist/musical directress Elizabeth Brahms-Kriger; I live in Daytona Beach, and work part time in my retirement as the chaplain for Haven Hospice, DeLand, FL. They met in Israel, singing for the Israeli Opera Company, then sang in Europe before returning to the USA. I am reachable at 386-405-4432 or by email at

The Birthday Party for the World

September 28, 2010 by InterfaithFamily Administrator   Comments (0)

cake, birthday, children, Rosh

Ever since I moved to Newton, Mass., I have found services to be just boring. Maybe it’s because now we go to a bigger, less personal synagogue, or when the rabbi talks, I often find myself dozing off. This year I was determined to make Rosh Hashanah meaningful for my family, especially my three year old little boy, Ariel.

I decided to make a birthday party for the world. By making Rosh Hashanah a birthday for the world, I felt my son would truly understand the meaning of the day or at least think it was really cool that we were all dressed up wearing birthday hats and eating sweet food.

For each of the two days of Rosh Hashanah we invited Ariel’s friends and their parents over to our house. We had a mix of families with guests who originated from New York, Canada, China, Ukraine, and Australia. We started each meal with apples and honey and a new fruit. It is a tradition on this holiday to try an unusual fruit for the first time in the season and recite the Shehecheyanu, a prayer of thanks that is said on many occasions including when something new happens,”.

We then moved on to the typical fare of homemade gefilte fish, brisket, noodle kugel, and carrots but we were all wearing birthday hats. Each meal was finished with birthday cookies; We keep kosher and don’t mix diary and meat, and I had a hard time finding a pareve birthday cake (one that is not dairy) and am not the type to bake it myself!

We also talked about how G-d created the world with all of the animals and plants on Rosh Hashanah. Then we talked about how nice it would be if we did good deeds or mitzvahs all year because G-d was nice enough to create the world for us. (I figured that as Ariel and his little friends are only three, we could include a discussion on evolution a few years down the road.)

It was the best Rosh Hashanah we’d had in a long while and I hope it will continue for many more years.

In response to Ed Case for his excellent piece on the Marc Mezvinsky/Chelsea Clinton wedding.

September 1, 2010 by reeve r. brenner   Comments (0)

interfaith, Chelsea Clinton, marriage, wedding

Dear Editor:
There were exceptionally pleasing feelings of pride aroused in me by Ed Case for his excellent piece on the Marc Mezvinsky/Chelsea Clinton wedding and for saying mazal tov on my behalf and for others who feel the same; and by the Forward for courageously publishing his sound wisdom and above all by the groom, Marc who saw to it that all the signifiers including Kippah, Talit, Chupa, Kiddish were featured prominently at the wedding. Marc’s parents are to be commended for the successful upbringing of Marc as a committed Jewish young man. The rabbi’s officiation was very important and also most laudable.
About the wedding, we tend to complicate things more than that they need to be: for one thing, there is no such thing as co-officiation. From a Jewish perspective, whoever presides over the exchange of rings – the symbolic act of conveying a “consideration” in the presence of two witnesses the acceptance of which validates the contract/ketubah – is the officiant and need not be clergy. It is irrelevant from this perspective that a rabbi out of a sign of respect should decide to invite others, of whatever stripe they are, to participate. Any assortment of laymen, Catholic priests, Protestant ministers or imams standing alongside the officiant constitutes a loving and generous gesture on the part of the family and the Jewish officiant. When a rabbi officiates at an inter-marriage (meaning he/she presides over the exchange of rings) it would be well advised to be welcoming in this manner. Clergy mix in many venues such as at a Thanksgiving community service. No wedding guest need be confused as to what is transpiring before their eyes. “Causing confusion,” often cited, is a very lame excuse for not inviting another worthy and beloved person to participate. Two witnesses of maturity and repute must be present to affix their signatures to the ketubah agreement. Anyone who doesn’t ordinarily write on the Sabbath (who would be sleeping over at the hotel, perhaps) can affix his (and not hers if Orthodox) signature after dark.
As for scheduling a Sabbath day-time wedding, one almost never hears the favorable reasons for the support of an earlier time, only the anti. But the permissive side would recognize how the wedding enhances and does not detract the sanctity of the Sabbath day. And since the guests do not joyously celebrate Shabbat according to Halacha, there is little concern for mixing or diminishing two joyous events –the Sabbath and a chatunah. The guests, family and couple will, in the company of the minion, hear Hebrew words of prayer and consecration they would not otherwise experience on the Sabbath. The wedding and the Sabbath are both sanctified. There are practical reasons for preponing the ceremony time before sunset besides the mitzvah of accommodating the wedding couple and their loved ones many of whom are elderly. For them an earlier time constitutes a mitzvah l’chabed zkeinim.
Kedushin does not lose its kedusha when entered into its sanctity on Shabbat Kodesh. Unless of course the wedding is a business arrangement as it still is for Orthodoxy as reflected in an Orthodox ketubah referencing monetary considerations which certainly do not belong on the Sabbath. Therefore, an Orthodox Jewish wedding ought not to be conducted on the Sabbath. A non-Orthodox wedding fits the Sabbath perfectly.
The mitzvah of officiation should take into account that the marriage not the wedding ceremony is paramount. And the wedding, (signifying: “crossroads reached” and a new life begun) almost invariably serves the function of affirming the direction or projected “pathway” the couple will take concerning the religious identity of their home and children.
If a couple decides to take the non-Christian, uncommon and exceptional pathway to the mansion of Jewish identity then the exchange of rings with the formula, “according to the traditions of Moses and the heritage of Israel” – k’dat moshe v’yisrael - would be in order. And the non-Jewish partner reciting this formula affirms his or her status as a ger or giyoret toshav a Settled Sojourner. If Chelsea will be raising Jewish kids, she’s a Settled Sojourner. If so, it will make me smile. We are a welcoming folk, not a turning our back folk. Besides, in our time, identity is transmitted in ascending lineality – by child to parent – not by descent.
We are strengthened as a people by offering various portals of entry (and exit too) of the mansion of Jewish identity. We should keep that entrance unblocked for our own good and steer the right people to the right portal. I go more deeply and theologically into these critical issues in my book (without cost), Jewish, Christian, Chewish or Eschewish: Intermarriage Pathways for the New Millennium. Above all I pray Marc and Chelsea will be happy, will be good parents as are their own accomplished parents, will prove to be well-suited for each other and that they be welcomed by the Jewish community should that be their choice in establishing their home.
Rabbi Dr. Reeve Robert Brenner

Jewish/Catholic wedding on June 5

June 7, 2010 by Claire G. Metzger   Comments (0)

Last Saturday, I co-officiated at a beautiful wedding ceremony at Curtis Farm in Wilton, New Hampshire. The bride is Catholic and the groom is Jewish, and I co-officiated with a wonderful and welcoming Priest from Bedford, NH. The wedding was in an open field with a view of the mountains and fortunately, the weather was warm and sunny, even though rain was in the forecast. I believe that both families were very happy with the ceremony, and a great time was had by all.


November 21, 2009 by avery mcdonald   Comments (1)


is it possible for a person to convert to reform judaism when their partner is not?