Classes and Workshops with InterfaithFamily

Updated March, 2013

Interested? Classes and workshops are currently offered in the following communities. Click for more information about dates and registration:

InterfaithFamily offers classes and workshops for interfaith couples, online with in-person components. Read on for information about


Love and Religion — Online

Being part of an interfaith couple can be challenging, but you don't need to find the answers alone. This workshop offers you a safe environment to work on creating your religious lives together. You can make Jewish choices while honoring the traditions of both partners.

InterfaithFamily is now pleased to offer Love and Religion — Online, a four session workshop, based on Love and Religion: An Interfaith Workshop for Jews and Their Partners, created by Marion L. Usher, Ph.D.

Love and Religion — Online includes four sessions with a combination of in-person get-togethers and online meetings.

You can learn more and watch a short video about the workshop at www.interfaithfamily.com/loveandreligion.

Couples should participate if they are dating, engaged or newly married, exploring the issue of religion in their relationship, and

  • want to have a religious life and are unclear how to discuss this issue with each other;
  • want to be with other couples who are struggling with the same issues;
  • want answers to their questions about religious life together, including: Where can we find Jewish clergy to marry us? Can our children be Jewish if my wife does not convert? What does a conversion require? How can we respect both our religions if we decide to have Judaism as the "lead religion"? How can we approach our parents to help us with these dilemmas? Can our children go to Hebrew school if they are not converted at birth?

 

Visit our Chicago, San Francisco Bay Area or Philadelphia community pages to see when this is being offered. Or sign up now for the Chicago class.


Raising a Child with Judaism in Your Interfaith Family

InterfaithFamily is offering a one of a kind class for interfaith parents thinking about whether and how to bring Jewish wisdom, traditions and customs to their home, their lives and their parenting.

Raising a Child with Judaism in Your Interfaith Family is an 8 session class. Each week of the class the material for a new session will be added. You access the material on your own time during that week, read essays (print them for later), hear/learn blessings, watch videos, get ideas for family activities, post in a journal, and more. You will be able to interact with other parents through discussion boards. You will have access to a facilitator so that you can ask questions as you go, and the facilitator will respond to both your journal posts and the discussion boards. In addition, two of the eight sessions include an in-person program for the whole family — a Friday night Shabbat dinner and a wrap-up and next-steps send-off.

Each of the eight lessons is about a major parenting situation and how Jewish teachings and traditions offer insights about how to make these times meaningful and spiritual. We will explore bedtime and food and eating rituals, marking time with meaning on a weekly and yearly basis, doing good deeds, loving learning, spirituality and personal journeys. Every aspect of this class was created with modern interfaith families in mind.

Parents will be able to log on during the week and read interesting essays and/or look at slide shows that give background and literacy about the Jewish ideas involved in the lesson. Each lesson comes with "hear/read" files to help you learn how to say blessings in Hebrew, YouTube-type videos, family projects and bedtime book suggestions, personal stories written by other interfaith families who have tried these same aspects of Judaism in their lives, journaling questions, questions to discuss with your partner, shared discussions with other parents, and more.

This is a non-judgmental, supportive and open forum for you to learn, experience, question, and share.

These eight lessons have the ability to positively impact the rhythm of your interfaith family's life!

Visit our ChicagoSan Francisco Bay Area or Philadelphia community pages to see when this is being offered.

Preparing for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah in Your Interfaith Family

InterfaithFamily is offering a new, one of a kind class for interfaith parents who have a 4th-7th grader preparing, whether in early stages or later stages, for a bar or bat mitzvah.

Preparing for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah in Your Interfaith Family is an eight session class. Each week of the class the material for a new session will be added. You access the material on your own time during that week, read essays (print them for later), hear/learn blessings, watch videos, get ideas for family activities, post in a journal and more. You will be able to interact with other parents through discussion boards. You will have access to a facilitator so that you can ask questions as you go, and the facilitator will respond both to your journal posts and on the discussion boards. In addition, two of the eight sessions include an in-person program for the whole family.

Each of the eight sessions is about a major aspect of the bar/bat mitzvah ceremony and experience. We will explore the history of the bar/bat mitzvah ceremony, the meaning of Torah, putting the "mitzvah" back in the bar/bat mitzvah, Shabbat morning and evening worship, ritual policies in synagogues, and the enduring Jewish values to hold dear and how to explain this to family members and friends who are not Jewish. Every aspect of this class was created with modern interfaith families in mind.

Parents will be able to log on during the week and read interesting essays and/or look at slide shows that give background and literacy about the Jewish ideas involved in the session. Each session comes with "hear/read" files to help you learn how to say blessings in Hebrew, YouTube-type videos, family projects, book suggestions, personal stories written by other interfaith families who have gone through bar/bat mitzvah with their children, journaling questions, shared discussions with other parents, and more.

This is a non-judgmental, supportive and open forum for you to learn, experience, question and share.

These eight sessions have the ability to positively impact the way your interfaith family can become involved in this major life cycle event!

Visit our ChicagoSan Francisco Bay Area or Philadelphia community pages to see when this is being offered.

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Blogs


Subject
Author Date
 
Rabbi Jillian Cameron 08-29-14
Jillian

Jillian (right) with her cousins and grandmother in Ipswich, MA.

Growing up, I didnÂ’t spend a lot of time thinking about what I ate. One of my parents and then a housekeeper for a while, used to cook dinner for me and made my lunch to take to school. We didnÂ’t keep any sense of kosher; I didnÂ’t really understand what kashrut was until I was much older. My parents attempted to instill the values of healthy eating, feeding us fresh produce, buying food from whatever farms existed in suburban New Jersey, but beyond the health aspects, we never really discussed food in any other way.

As I grew older, I was confronted with a variety of food ethics, whether cultural, religious or health related. As I spent time thinking about the food choices I make now, I realized that the decisions I make about most aspects of my life reflect how I think, how I was raised, my cultural context and my values. As a child of an interfaith marriage, there was always a combining of cultures in our household, from the most mundane of details to the most controversial. Whenever two people combine their lives and create a family even if they seem incredibly similar on the surface, there is bound to be a certain amount of combining (usually preceded by a hefty degree of compromise).

But my parents were not only intermarried in terms of their religious backgrounds, but my mother was from high treif (non-kosher) land, New England, and my fatherÂ’s family was old Jewish Bronx (brisket, anyone?). Some of my fondest food memories are when we visited my momÂ’s family in Ipswich, MA: fried clams, steamers, lobster rolls, scallops, you name the seafood, we ate it, and we ate it joyfully. Since I did not live near my momÂ’s family and was being raised as a Jew, the love of seafood represented my connection with them. I thought about giving it up over the years, as I had given up pork, but those family moments, those points of connection always prevented me. I studied and contemplated and struggled with my decision because I wanted to maintain my own sense of integrity in who I am and what my title represents. But even as a rabbi, as a leader and example in the Jewish community, I long ago decided that having a connection to my family, being able to sit with them and break bread (and lobster claws) was more important than keeping kosher. And I have never once regretted it.

We live in a world of abundant choices and options and as our community grows ever more diverse, we will only continue to face these types of decisions. There is no one right answer, itÂ’s up to each of us to take the time, do the work and decide how we want to live our lives.


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Rabbi Mychal Copeland 08-29-14

The most chilling song I have ever heard is Leonard CohenÂ’s “Who by Fire.” His deep, haunting voice is perfect for the lyrics, which acknowledge that none of us knows how our lives will come to an end. In case we are morbidly curious, the song lists some possibilities: “Who by fire, who by water, who for his greed, who for his hunger.” And it gets darker: “Who in her lonely slip, who by barbiturateÂ…Who by his lady’s command, who by his own hand.” For those familiar with the legendary Canadian singer/songwriter, itÂ’s not the only time he takes us to that place we have been trying to avoid.

But this idea wasn’t actually his. Cohen, well versed in Jewish practice and liturgy, based these lyrics on a dramatic piece of the High Holy Day liturgy called the “Unetanetokef.” The prayer is named for its powerful, opening words, “Now, we declare the sacred power of this day.” The Unetanetokef brutally reminds us of how fragile we are by asking who, in the year to come, will live on and who shall die. Who will die by the sword, and who by the beast. It sounds like a dirge, adding to the drama of the prayer. The perfect melding of these two artful pieces, the prayer and the song, is when some synagogues sing the Unetanetokef to Cohen’s melody.

The tough part of this piece of liturgy, theologically speaking, is that it sounds like all of this is preordained: On Yom Kippur, the course of every life is sealed! I think the prayer is saying something else. In a world in which we think we are totally in control, we have to be reminded from time to time that we arenÂ’t. The High Holy Days bring our mortality front and center.

From the Yom Kippur fast that makes us feel like we are barely alive to the custom of wearing white or even a kittel, a burial garment, we are asked at this time of year to face our mortality and fragility head on. Hopefully, that confrontation affects how we will enter the New Year and how we will live our lives. Both the prayer and Leonard CohenÂ’s version are a calling to keep it all in perspective and thank our lucky stars that we are alive another day.

P.S. If you havenÂ’t heard the song, check out a great rendition from YouTube before the holidays:


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Ryan Mount 08-29-14

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the space between the checklists, but this week, I wanted to go further.

One of my favorite spiritual concepts is the idea of liminal space. I think about this concept a lot. I try to see where in my life, I am in liminal space.

It was taught to me to by a former mentor who explained it this way, when you look between rooms, or a door, there is a small space between the two. That space does not show up in a floor plan and it is not counted when looking at square space. However, you have go through that space in order to get to the place you need or want to be. If become hungry, I simply cannot stay in the living room. I have to get up and move into the kitchen. However, I do not stop in between the two rooms and get fed, I have to go further and into a new room to take care of this hunger.
The foundation for much of spiritual work is done in liminal space. The space between the current situation and the new situation. We have to do work and go into that uncomfortable space if we hope to come out on the other side.

Lisa and I began our time together in two separate cities, separated by 600 miles. It was a subtle space between us, but we grew to love one another because we had that space. Before we met in person, our long conversations were intense and deep. We grew in that space apart and without knowing it, that new space we were moving into was to be the most important relationship of our lives.

When planning a wedding, life is very much lived in liminal space. We have spent nearly a year planning this endeavor and when it is said and done, we really begin to plan life together. It is not like Lisa and I have not spent time talking about our dreams of owning a home and having children, but with a wedding, those plans are set temporarily on the back burner.

Lisa and I also are in a lot of liminal space in our everyday lives. I am still within the first two years of my long-term career and Lisa is still searching niche in the working world. If you remember back to our first post, we met through the sport of roller derby. After being so heavily involved with the sport years (seven for me and nine for Lisa) both of us on a hiatus and I am leaning towards yoga and ballet. I still feel in spiritual transition between Conservative services and Reform services. Moving from one coast to another, just puts everything into liminal as the settling process begins.

A picture of a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon from a recent trip to Columbus, OH and is a lot like entering liminal space


After the ceremony, we are finally out of liminal space, and officially a married couple. I am already excited to take time and have a Yichud. A Yichud is when the bride and groom take a couple minutes to just be by themselves. It is that moment, when we end our lives as we have known it and step into a new one. Honestly, this week I thought about this moment, and I cried. That is what the movement out of liminal space can create, true moments of joy. It creates a true spiritual experience. One that Lisa and I can share forever in our truly inter-faith life together.


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Jessie Boatright 08-29-14

Happy Labor Day weekend!  Every year, I anticipate Labor Day weekend with both a smile and a bittersweet taste in my mouth.  It always brings some kind of fun celebration, but in so doing it marks the end of summer (a particularly big deal for those of us who live in New England).  Unlike last year, when the Jewish New Year collided with the start of the school year, we still have a few weeks to go before Rosh Hashanah.  But for parents of school-aged children, Labor Day marks a transition into another kind of new year.  A new year of earlier school day wake-ups, school uniforms to keep clean, and new groups of teachers, parents and children to get to know.

We have had a lot of fun this summer.  It was Ruthie’s first summer at real “big kid” day camp, and a huge developmental period for Chaya.  We had a great vacation in Maine, and a lot of weekend adventures.  We made wonderful memories with family and friends.

As I prepare to for this last summer weekend, I thought I’d take a moment to count some of the blessings of the summer, and think about how I might carry them into the next three seasons.  Here are some things I’ll remember:

  1. Every once in a while, its okay to stay up late to sit around the campfire, or run around like crazy monkeys with a gaggle of cousins.
  2. Every once in a while, it is good to go to bed early to make up for the late nights.
  3. Try not to sweat the sand in the bottom of the backpack.  It is a measure of how great the day has been.  And as long as you are careful it won’t ruin your plumbing.
  4. Similarly, relish the mud on your face.  Cake some more on, while you are at it.
  5. Never underestimate the power of a breath of fresh air.
  6. DonÂ’t let the rain scare you from going outside.
  7. Every nook and cranny can be a stage for singing “Let It Go,” as long as you have a vision for it.

Those are a few of the gifts from our summer.  What are yours?


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Anne Marie Keefe 08-23-14

 

[Guest post by Sam Goodman]

I have fond memories of going to services as a youngster and looking forward to the weeks in which I could pelt young adults, the clergy, and innocent bystanders with tiny packages of hard candy. Not wanting to miss being on the receiving end of such a deluge, a few months back I mentioned to the Cantor at my synagogue, Monmouth Reform Temple (MRT), that Anne and I would like to have an aufruf.  This is a custom during which the bride and groom – or, in more traditional synagogues, just the groom – are called up for an Aliyah, and the Torah is read in their honor.

Scheduling our aufruf posed a bit of a challenge.  Traditionally, the aufruf takes place during Shabbat services prior to the wedding.  However, our rehearsal dinner takes place on that Friday, outside of Philadelphia.  The Shabbat prior to that coincides with Yom Kippur, and celebrating with candy is not the best way to observe a solemn fast.

We also wanted to make sure our aufruf date aligned with an appropriate Torah portion. Our wedding occurs the week prior to Simchat Torah, the holiday during which the Torah is “rewound” and we begin reading from the book of Genesis.  Unlike the numerous beautiful, wedding-appropriate readings in the beginning of the Torah – the creation of Eve and man and wife becoming “one flesh,” the rainbow at the culmination of the flood, Abraham’s covenant with God to become a great nation – the final book of the Torah is not quite so generous.  We made a decision to avoid the passage containing material ill-suited for beginning our wedding celebration, such as the Biblical proscription for when “a man takes a wife and, after sleeping with her, dislikes her” (Deut. 22:13, NIV translation).  Luckily, nestled within Deuteronomy is a passage describing the blessings that will be rained upon Israel should they choose to keep God’s laws (Deut. 28:1-14).  That coincided with the weekend of September 12th, which was free for both sets of parents.  Hooray!

However, we hadn’t cleared all hurdles yet.  A significant proportion of the families at MRT are interfaith, and over the past year, the Rituals & Practices Committee has discussed what activities on the bimah are permitted to the members of the congregation who are not Jewish. Also, they are charged with awarding honors for aliyot, lighting candles, and Kiddush on Friday nights. I happen to sit on this committee. A few weeks ago, the person responsible for managing these honors for the month of September asked if anyone would be interested. I asked if my parents could do the candle and Kiddush blessings for the night of our aufruf. My mother is a practicing Christian, and some congregations do not permit those who are not Jewish to say the blessings over the candles. Also, neither of my parents are members of MRT, though they do belong to a Reform synagogue in the Philadelphia area.  Finally, Anne is not Jewish, and the committee had discussed in the past whether it was permissible for members of the congregation who are not Jewish to be called to Torah for an aliyah. After raising these concerns, I opened the topic for discussion to the members of the Rituals & Practices Committee.

This kicked off a lively discussion.  Our Cantor sent around a link to the recent article on Interfaith Family about how different synagogues approach candle lighting by with interfaith families. Ultimately, the committee agreed that my parents could light the candles and recite Kiddush, and that as long as I was with her and saying the Torah blessings, Anne could join me for the aliyah.

With this final hurdle cleared, it looks like September 12th will be a very Keefe/Goodman Shabbat at Monmouth Reform Temple!  In case you have an itching to bean some soon-to-be newlyweds with candy, services start at 7PM.


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