Downton Abbey Portrays Reality of Interfaith RelationshipsBy Gerri Miller
Go inside Season 5 Episode 9 where the story line of Atticus and Rose's interfaith relationship comes to a head.Go To Pop Culture
October 5, 2009
A trip to Israel with a group of other interfaith couples from Atlanta on The Israel Encounter changed Thomas and Shira Johnson's lives as individuals, as a couple and as a family.
As a child growing up, my family only sometimes attended church, but was never very religious. Toward the end of my childhood my father became a more observant Christian, but I never felt a call or connection to religion myself.
|Shira and Thomas Johnson posing in Tzfat.|
As a young adult I felt separated from what I knew of organized religion since most of what I knew came from the Christian faith. I rejected a religion that said that if you weren't a believer in Jesus you were going to hell. I always wondered how G-d could place a child's soul in a body of a non-Christian family, knowing that it would condemn that child to hell as a result of the child simply following the teachings of his or her parents.
Since I felt a disconnection with the religion of my parents, I didn't really delve much into the teachings of any religion. My wife had spoken about wanting to go to Israel and wanting to learn more about Judaism both for herself and to be able to raise our son as a Jew. I couldn't understand or relate to her connection to Israel or to her desire to attend services on Shabbat.
After the Israel Encounter trip, my understanding completely changed. I saw the places of the bible, putting a face to thousands of years of history.
Before touchdown in Israel I truly didn't understand what the big deal was, why my wife felt connected with Israel. Yes, it's your people's homeland, but not yours directly. My people were taken from Africa only hundreds of years ago, not thousands, yet I have no calling to return. Why do Jews feel this need?
By the time we took off in the plane to return to Atlanta I had some understanding of what the fight was for. I had a friend in high school that went to Israel and never came back. I didn't have precisely the same reaction, but I can say that if I could get into the Air Force flying the F16's? Shira, Ty and I would be there in a heartbeat!
I have learned more about religion and Jewish history both during out trip and since our return than in the last 35 years. It's strange, the more I read and listen to the more it all seems to make sense. Jewish ideas about the past, present and future seem to jive with what I feel and what I read in history even what science has taught. I can say that without a doubt this trip had changed our lives forever and our son's in a somewhat more indirect way.
I have read of a Jewish idea of free will divine guidance to a planned destination, of converts being Jewish souls separated and being brought back somehow. At this point I don't know if I am ready to take that step but I'm thinking about what led me here.
|The Israel Encounter group had a Friday night Kabbalat Shabbat service on the beach in Tel Aviv.|
I've grown up with Jewish friends, gone to many a bar and bat mitzvah. I have known the Hebrew for "blessed are you oh Lord our G-d ruler of the universe," since I can remember. Most, if not all of my best friends and most of my girlfriends have been Jewish. My parents went to great lengths to send me to private school, a school founded by a Jew, which was definitely not the norm for a black kid growing up in the Bronx. And in college I fell in love with a nice Jewish girl with a Hebrew name who 15 years later led me to Israel. Some things, in the words of Arsenio Hall, "make you say hmm."
I grew up in a predominantly Jewish community outside Boston, Mass., where we had all the High Holy Days off school and we could have planned out the entire bar and bat mitzvah year's social calendar by the time I was 6! What I didn't have is a religiously observant family.
Coming from a divorced family and going between homes I was unable to attend Hebrew school and had no temple membership to attend High Holy Day services unless I went with my godparents, which I did. I got involved in B'nai Brith, but felt like I was missing ALL the history and reasons we think and believe the things we do. Why are holidays celebrated this way? What is the proper way to celebrate/observe the holiday? I had no clue.
The college I attended also had a significant Jewish population. It was there that I met and fell in love with my husband. He knew many Jews growing up and had attended more than his fair share of bar and bat mitzvah celebrations, but just had surface knowledge of Judaism as a whole and did not celebrate any holidays or have traditions within his religion of birth except Christmas.
|Shira Johnson praying at the Kotel, the Western Wall in Jerusalem.|
As our relationship grew the inevitable questions about marriage and children popped up. I didn't have any real problem marrying outside of my religion, but I was 100% sure I wanted a Jewish home and any children we had to be raised as Jews. Luckily, Thomas had no hesitation and agreed since he didn't have a connection to Christianity and Judaism was the religion that was celebrated the most during our relationship.
When our son was born we had a brit milah and baby naming ceremony at our home and, when it was time, joined a temple and enrolled him in religious school. We have always tried to make a nice Friday night dinner and family time, but I would not say it was a true Shabbat observance. We attended Friday evening services three or four times a year on average, and we went on the High Holy days. We also tried to get together with family for the holidays whenever possible. That and a big Chanukah party was the extent of our observance.
Last year I was able to join Pathways and found another class I took to start learning more about how to observe the holidays and traditions, raise a child as a Jew and to learn the history I was lacking. That led us to Israel Encounter.
Our trip to Israel has forever changed my life, my husband's life, our son's life and our family's life! I was told it would, but who knew. My thoughts about my religion and my views on other religions have changed, enhancing my respect for my husband's thoughts and feelings and those of his parents. We were deeply affected by the sights we saw, the people we observed and met, the history we learned and the current events we discussed. It was also important who went with us: the leaders who introduced us to our homeland and the other interfaith families on the trip who generously explored and shared past experiences and preconceptions. I feel a renewed commitment to raising our son in a Jewish home and to try to instill pride in him as a Jew.
|In the Western Wall tunnel, the Johnsons had a chance to place a prayer in the wall together.|
Since returning from Israel we have already attended temple more than in the five years prior to the trip, several times at my husband's request. We have found a new community through the trip. Several Israel Encounter families have invited us to celebrate life cycle occasions, including a bar mitzvah, a double baby shower and a brit milah and baby naming ceremony. We have made plans to celebrate the Jewish holidays, some with our new IE family. Returning from the trip found us freer to consider solutions to our son's disdain for the Hebrew school he has attended for the past five years. We found a new temple we really enjoy attending, enrolled Ty in Jewish overnight camp and enrolled ourselves in additional Jewish adult education. We want to learn more, both for ourselves and to be able to pass on to our son.
Returning from the trip, I feel more complete. I have a sense of contentment as well as a yearning to learn and understand more. I feel like this trip and all it encompassed made me a better me! When people ask me about the trip I stumble over what to say, still filled with the emotion and the sense of a spiritual experience that changed me beyond words. I look forward to planning a return trip to Israel.