Facing Facts on Intermarriage

New York Jewish Week

This editorial orginally appeared in November 10, 2000 issue of the New York Jewish Week and is reprinted with its permission. Visit www.thejewishweek.com.

Overshadowed by the conflict in the Mideast and the national elections was an important and troubling study released last week by the American Jewish Committee on Jewish attitudes toward intermarriage. The overall finding--that "the Jewish taboo on mixed marriage has clearly collapsed," in the words of the report--bears close study and reflection by communal leaders and rabbis.

According to the study, 56 percent of the 1,000 respondents disagree with the statement, "It would pain me if my child married a gentile." And half of the respondents agree with the statement, "It is racist to oppose Jewish-gentile marriages."
Moreover, 56 percent of those polled are either neutral about mixed marriages or see such marriages as a "positive good" (16 percent).

These and other findings from the study indicate that mixed marriages have become not only common but accepted in the Jewish community, with the large majority of respondents favoring rabbinic officiation at such marriages, even if a Christian cleric is involved in the ceremony.

The message, then, from American Jewry to their leadership is to recognize the new reality and make the necessary accommodations rather than continuing to resist such practices. Indeed, only the Orthodox, of the various denominations, are strongly opposed to mixed marriage.

Judaism, of course, is not a popularity contest, and Jews have upheld the laws and rituals over the centuries, even at the risk of their lives. So the fact that a survey finding the majority of American Jews prepared to abandon certain religious laws does not mean halacha, or Jewish law, should be tossed aside.

On the other hand, it appears that most American Jews are prepared to sacrifice Jewish tradition for family harmony. Given this reality, increased attention should be paid to outreach efforts, both before and after marriage, to deal with the reality of the situation. At the same time, additional resources must be given to Jewish education, with the hope that the more knowledgeable the next generation is about the history and traditions of the Jewish people, the more commitment there will be to maintain its survival.