Downton Abbey Portrays Reality of Interfaith RelationshipsBy Gerri Miller
Go inside Season 5 Episode 9 where the story line of Atticus and Rose's interfaith relationship comes to a head.Go To Pop Culture
Do you know any interfaith families? Of course you do! We all do! It will soon be the case that most Jewish families (that is, those who identify themselves as Jewish) will include one or more individuals who aren't Jewish. Most of us already have non-Jewish members in our extended--if not nuclear--families.
Do you know any unaffiliated interfaith families in our community? Probably. Although there are a number of interfaith families who are have joined our congregation, there are far, far more who have not.
Most interfaith families do not join synagogues. Most children being raised in interfaith households in which one of the parents is Jewish are not being given a Jewish education.
We can do something about that. If you know unaffiliated interfaith families in our community, you can do a mitzvah (commanded good deed): Invite them to shul. Introduce them to me at the kiddush (blessing over wine). Invite them to your home to share a Shabbat (Sabbath) meal. Show them how fulfilling it can be to make Jewish choices in their lives. Talk with them about the appeals of becoming involved with the Jewish community by affiliating with a synagogue.
Not every interfaith family will respond to your efforts to draw them near. But some might. Sometimes, that is all that's necessary: to be inviting. Many interfaith families feel (rightly or wrongly) excluded from the organized Jewish community. We can help them realize that they may be able to find a place for themselves, if only they seek it. Some may ultimately affiliate here; others may decide that, given their sensibilities, predilections and priorities, they wish to affiliate elsewhere. That's fine. What's important is that we communicate our openness to those who might wish to join us.
I'm often asked, "What can a non-Jewish partner (parent, sibling, spouse) do in our service?" With all due respect, that isn't the right first question to ask. If we ask, "What can we offer non-Jews who wish to explore the way we practice Judaism?" the answer is, quite a lot. We have a message--a compelling message--for Jews and for others who might find Judaism appealing. Some of the most active members of our community were not born Jewish. Some of the most religiously sensitive members of our congregation did not go to synagogue in their youth; instead, they went to church. Although at times Jews have been reluctant to proselytize--quite understandably, considering that the punishment for proselytizing, during the Middle Ages, was death--we should no longer be so bashful. Judaism is a wonderful way of life--for those who were born Jewish and those who choose to embrace it.
Here are some organizations that offer programs which you may wish to bring to the attention of your friends in interfaith households:
Local Jewish Community Centers offer programming for intermarried families, and the Jewish Family & Children's Service sponsors the Interfaith Family Resource Center, which provides speakers, programs, and counseling for interfaith families.
The Conservative Movement has hired an outreach coordinator, Rabbi Judith Kummer (email@example.com), who heads the Jewish Discovery Institute which offers courses teaching basic Judaism that can lead to conversion. Rabbi Kummer also heads the Keruv initiative that helps link interfaith couples and families with Conservative congregations.
Finally, interfaith couples and families may find www.InterfaithFamily.com of interest. This is a web-based magazine, published every two weeks, containing many first person accounts of interfaith families "making Jewish choices." It's worth recommending.
Whatever you do, don't ignore interfaith families. Within them are Jews (and non-Jews) waiting to be invited to share in the delights of Jewish life.