Judaism--the religion, culture and community--is celebrated in homes and synagogues throughout the world. Here in North America the synagogue provides a gateway into Judaism for the interfaith couple and family. The synagogue is a house of worship, a meeting place (and a place of many meetings); it is a place to celebrate joyous life-cycle events as well as a place to find comfort and ritual in bereavement. It is a place to learn, to grow spiritually, to do good deeds, to have your children attend a nursery school, a summer camping program, religious school. The synagogue both encompasses and provides an entrée into the richness of Judaism.
How easy is it for the interfaith family to access this wealth of riches? In many places, extremely easy. In the larger cities there are usually several synagogues to choose from, each having its own particular personality.
Reform congregations have resolutely welcomed the interfaith couple and family for over two decades. Most Reform synagogues offer specific programs geared towards interfaith couples and families. (Within Judaism there are four major branches: Reform, Conservative, Orthodox and Reconstructionist. As I work within the Reform movement, the Union of American Hebrew Congregations (UAHC), the comments in this article apply primarily to this branch.)
How do you discover which congregations are in your community? Ask a friend, look in the yellow pages, make a phone call or send an e-mail to the outreach director at your regional UAHC office. Then call the synagogue. If it is a Reform congregation, ask if there is someone you could speak with about programs for interfaith families. This might be the outreach coordinator, the Membership Chairperson, or even the rabbi.
Visit the synagogue. Come to Friday night or Saturday Sabbath services, roam around the lobby, collecting pamphlets and flyers describing upcoming events, say hello to the rabbi or administrator, attend an event with other interfaith couples.
There are numerous programs in which interfaith families can readily participate. They include programs for the entire community and programs that are specifically designed to meet the needs and interests of interfaith families. Here is a sampling of some of those programs:
* Various social programs are available. There are congregations that hold annual outreach family picnics (for synagogue members and non-members), there are Passover seders to be invited to, or the making--and eating--of holiday foods. Some synagogues have interfaith couple groups that meet in once a month, holding discussions, celebrating holidays and attending events together For people new to the synagogue, there may be a "welcome wagon", a new-member dinner, or other special events.
* Various educational programs are available. These can range from a twelve-week Introduction to Judaism class to an evening studying with a rabbi. Some communities offer a one-or two-year free religious school program for children whose families are not members of a synagogue. "A Taste of Judaism: Are You Curious?" is a three-session program that introduces Jewish spiritual, ethical and community values. It is offered free of charge to adults not affiliated with a synagogue.
* Many synagogues have particular programs geared to the emotional issues of interfaith families. These include workshops on issues such as "December Dilemma," "Raising your Child Within an Interfaith Family," or "What to Do When You Don't Understand the Words?"
Although each of these programs is welcoming to everyone, interfaith couples often travel through the first gateway by becoming involved in the outreach committee. This committee plans programs that are designed to meet the needs and interests of interfaith couples and families.
For many interfaith couples, it is not the lack of synagogues or programs that presents a barrier, but rather it is not knowing how to become a part of synagogue life. Each synagogue is a community of people. And each community, no matter how welcoming, has its particular history and character. It takes time for everyone--non-Jews and Jews alike--to feel a part of that history, a shaper of that character. My suggestion is hopefully not difficult: become involved.
Participate in what you enjoy. A friend of mine was drawn to social justice programs and soon became coordinator of a lunch program for the homeless. A family became involved in synagogue life after enrolling a child in a religious school program. A couple was excited by the teachings of the rabbi and found themselves attending many adult education classes--and enjoying the company of those they met.
There are outreach directors who work in each of the thirteen UAHC regional offices in North America. Any one of us would gladly speak with you about synagogues in your area and the outreach programs available. Our names, telephone numbers and e-mail addresses can be obtained at the UAHC website: here. And, whether you are visiting our web site or a synagogue, welcome!
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