Rosanne's last week of work I avoided calling her. I told myself she was busy cleaning out her office but actually every time she answered, "Interfaith Connection, this is Rosanne" I thought, is this the last time I'll hear this? I hated thinking like that.
When I met Rosanne eleven years ago she was seven years into the program she created, The Interfaith Connection, and was already the Grand Dame of interfaith outreach. That first meeting was at a luncheon for people interested in outreach; most of us were synagogue volunteers. I was new to this work and approached her after the lunch. Rosanne, ever gracious and warm, willingly offered information and resources to this novice. As Humphrey Bogart said, it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
In eighteen years at the Interfaith Connection Rosanne has gathered a wealth of knowledge and information. Two days before she retired, she called me to share an experience she'd just had; she started with the words, "Dawn, what do we know?" Well, in your case, Rosanne, quite a lot! But her openness to learning something new every day has made her programs always fresh and insightful.
The heart of Rosanne's program is her seven week couples discussion group. I can't begin to tell you the amount of work it takes to put these together and run them. They are crucial to assisting couples define their values and goals. Literally hundreds of people have experienced her calm support and insightful guidance. For her part, Rosanne has absorbed their stories, their triumphs, their failures. She has woven these myriad true stories into the fabric of her work, sharing with those who come to her the wisdom of those many lives. Her students have been her teachers.
In addition to the discussion groups, Rosanne offers workshops that she has shaped to the needs of her constituents. Many is the time I have called her to say, "I want to duplicate that program you did." She is always eager to share what worked, what she thinks she'll change next time. We discuss how she promotes the programs and what were the main issues raised. And does she ask for credit, some sort of byline? No. Many individuals want acknowledgment; Rosanne wants to help. She epitomized that saying: It's amazing what you can accomplish if you don't need to take credit. Rosanne has quietly transformed the face of outreach.
After a particularly tough conversation with a struggling individual I have occasionally called Rosanne to debrief. Have I missed a helpful hint? Can she suggest another resource? Always her guidance is caring and well thought out, her compassion apparent.
How is it that Rosanne has maintained her passion for this work over eighteen years? I believe she is fueled by her agenda. That agenda is shalom bayit, peace in the home. Rosanne's wish for each family is for love and communication to flow from grandparent to parent to child. In a world in which assimilation is easy and choosing to be Jewish is not so easy, Rosanne presses on, holding open the door to Jewish life. She says little, knowing that the choice is up to the individual couples; all she can do is support their journey of self-examination and discovery.
We who work in outreach to interfaith families are a small but passionate group. Rosanne's retirement leaves a hole in our midst. The wisdom, generosity and caring she has always expressed are a model for us to follow.
When I notified professionals and couples of her retirement I received a flurry of emails:
* I've always enjoyed the time I've spent with her and can definitely say that she made a difference in my life. Because of her, we've made lasting friendships with people over the years and have gotten involved in things that probably wouldn't have happened if she hadn't steered us in that direction.
* Rosanne always maintained a professional reserve. There was never any judgement, just support.
* I think what stands out in my mind is how utterly unflappable she is...we had a real roller coaster meeting... but Rosanne sat there calmly taking notes, never ruffling anyone's feathers, always remaining charming.
* I'd go to any program Rosanne ran; she really knows her stuff.
* Is she having a party? We need to go to that.
* I've walked across Jerusalem all day. I was tired before, but now I'm really tired. (Rabbi on sabbatical in Israel)
* When I arrived in the Bay area in 1995 and began doing Jewish outreach, Rosanne was one of the first professionals I met. I will remember and cherish forever Rosanne's warm welcome, gracious manner, and willingness to share her wealth of knowledge and experience. My admiration has continued to grow ever since. It is a privilege to know her.
Rosanne, we wish you joy in your new freedom and, yes, I do have your home phone number!
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Dawn Kepler is the director of Building Jewish Bridges: Outreach to Interfaith Couples of the Jewish Community Federation of the Greater East Bay.
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