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June 5, 2007 eNewsletter



 Web Magazine

June 5, 2007

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Dear friend,

Several years ago, I was the editor of a Jewish magazine in San Diego. At the time I was living with a non-Jewish woman. My co-workers and bosses knew, but I never was sure how those outside my office would react. In many ways, being in an interfaith relationship in the Jewish community is like being gay in a presumptively heterosexual world. People assume you're one thing until you tell them otherwise. And when you do, you brace yourself for a potentially negative reaction.

In the new issue of our Web Magazine on Coming Out About Your Interfaith Relationship, we share perspectives from people who've experienced the good and the bad when they broke the news.

The stories don't get much more heartbreaking than that of Marina Budhos' mother. When she told her Orthodox father that she was marrying an Indian-Caribbean man, he disowned her. Read more in "You Have Shamed Us."

Telling her parents about her non-Jewish boyfriend was easy for Rachel Rockenmacher, but telling her co-workers was a different story. Read more.

When a Jewish woman gets engaged to a Catholic man, she wonders what both sets of parents will think, in Peggy Dorf's The Blessing of Two Mothers.

Julie Wiener was like me. For seven years, she hid the fact of her intermarriage from her co-workers in Jewish journalism. Julie speaks to others like her, in "In the Mix": Coming Out as Intermarried.

Abby Spotts' parents always assumed she'd marry someone Jewish. She probably did too. So it's with a bit of trepidation she and her Catholic fiance go for dinner at her parents' house in The Accidental Intermarriage.

Wondering how to broach the subject with your parents? Read Carol Targum's helpful Tips for Telling Your Parents About Your Interfaith Relationship.

From Our Archives

Madhavi Kushner grew up in an ashram where they studied all religions. Now that she's marrying a Jewish man--and the son of a rabbi, to boot--her family wonders: will she have to wear a wig? Read more in Overcoming Our Religious Differences.


What if the Jewish community saw intermarriage as a way to engage the non-Jewish world--and not as a threat to the Jewish one, asks Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky in Intermarriage as a Form of Outreach?

Arts and Entertainment

Jewish boy meets non-Jewish girl. Jewish boy and non-Jewish girl go home together. Jewish boy impregnates non-Jewish girl. What next? Read Alizah Salario's review of the new hit comedy Knocked Up .

They tried to make Amy Winehouse go to rehab and she said no, no, no. Now the music/tabloid star is saying to the same to a traditional Jewish wedding after marrying her on-again, off-again boyfriend. Plus, the growing network of Jewish connections in the new French government. Read more in the latest installment of Interfaith Celebrities.

Guess which one is Jewish: nebbishy underground comic legend Ralph Crumb, or his tall leggy wife Aline? Find out in Ilana Arazie's interview with Aline.

Additional Resources on Coming Out About Your Interfaith Relationship

For more on relating to the extended family, see our Marriage and Relationships Resource Page .

What's New on the Blogs

On the IFF Network Blog, we asked, "Who is a Jew? Who Cares?"

Coming Next

Our next issue, on interfaith weddings, is coming out Tuesday, June 19.


Micah Sachs, Online Managing Editor

Write for Us!

We're looking for writers on the following topics:

Interested in any of these topics? Contact Web Magazine Editor Ronnie Friedland at .




Network News

Report on Our Conference Now Available

A report on the first-ever conference/retreat of our Professionals Advisory Circle, titled "Nurturing Outreach: Embracing the Other, Taking Care of Ourselves," is now available online .

Congratulations, Bryan and Julie!

Our erstwhile 
wedding bloggers, Bryan Daneman and Julie Guess, were married Sunday, May 27, in Texas. Mazel tov! (And come home soon, so we can hear all about the wedding!)

Web Magazine Founder Moves to IFF Advisory Board

Yossi Abramowitz, who founded the Web Magazine we took over from Jewish Family & Life! in January 2002, has moved from our Board of Directors to our Advisory Board. Abramowitz can be reached via his blog, .

Ways You Can Get Involved

Join the Discussion. We want to know:
Did you ever hide your interfaith relationship from your parents, and if so, for how long?

Support Us.  If what we do helps you or others you care about, please make a tax-deductible charitable contribution in support of our work.


Spread the Word.  Ask your friends to subscribe to our  eNewsletter --the more people we reach, the better!




Hebrew for "daughter of the commandments." In modern Jewish practice, Jewish girls come of age at 12 or 13. When a girl comes of age, she is officially a bat mitzvah and considered an adult. The term is commonly used as a short-hand for the bat mitzvah's coming-of-age ceremony and/or celebration. The male equivalent is "bar mitzvah." Hebrew and Yiddish for "good luck," a phrase used to express congratulations for happy and significant occasions. The Jewish Sabbath, from sunset on Friday to nightfall on Saturday. Hebrew for "my master," the term refers to a spiritual leader and teacher of Torah. Often, but not always, a rabbi is the leader of a synagogue congregation.
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