The most difficult issues in contemporary Judaism revolve around life-cycle events. Questions rabbis receive about them often compel us to confront the big issues of life and to clarify our beliefs and commitments.
These days, no life-cycle ceremony causes as much concern among Jews as the wedding, for more than any other ritual, it reflects the sacred flow of Jewish history, tradition, and theology.
On one level, the Jewish wedding signifies a new partnership between two people and two families. On another, it is a sacred drama--an allegory of the covenental relationship between God and the Jewish people. The Jewish imagination deliberately merges those two covenants--husband and wife, Israel and God--each mirroring the other.
The purpose of both covenants is to create and celebrate kedusha, which comes from the same Hebrew root as the word for marriage, kiddushin, meaning to be sanctified, set apart, lifted above the animal-like and mundane, touched by God.
Holy Space
Wedding ceremonies begin with the sanctification of space. The bride and groom walk down the aisle and stand beneath the chuppah (bridal canopy), an island of private holy space symbolizing the Jewish home. Metaphorically, the couple is standing in its own "Holy of Holies" in the midst of a larger "Jerusalem"--a community of guests who represent the entire Jewish people, past, present , and future.
Next, the rabbi or cantor reads or chants certain psalms that recall the entry of the Israelites into the ancient Temple in Jerusalem: "...Blessed are those who come here in the name of God; we bless you from the house of God."
Holy Time
The recitation of psalms is followed by the Shehechyanu, giving thanks to God for bringing us to this sacred point in time. This blessing, which is not included in traditional weddings, underscores the crucial importance of the sanctity of this moment in the life of the couple, the family, and, by extension, the Jewish people.
A Holy Relationship
The traditional Jewish wedding ceremony includes two sections that convey the holiness of the marriage act: birchot erusin, the engagement blessings, and birchun nisuin, the wedding blessings.
The birchot nisuin begins with the blessing over the wine, followed by: "We praise you, Adonai our God, Ruler of the Universe, who hallows us with mitzvot and consecrates this marriage." The Hebrew, which translates, "God has permitted us to marry certain people through chuppah and kiddushin," reminds us that there are both permitted and forbidden sexual relationships (adultery, incest and those who are already engaged to someone else).
The couple then declares that each is holy to the other with the central statement of the wedding ceremony and the exchanging of rings: Hare at mekudeshet (attach mekudash) li betaba' at zo k'dat Moshe v' Yisrael, "With this ring you are consecrated to me as my wife (or husband) in accordance with the law (more accurately, religious teaching) of Moses and the people Israel." This statement has two functions. First, it declares that husband and wife are holy to each other. It is as if they were saying, "As Shabbat is to Jewish time and as Jerusalem is to Jewish space, you will be to me." Second it affirms that the wedding occurs with the blessing of Jewish tradition. Hare at confers the seal of Jewish authenticity. That authenticity is as primal as God's love for Israel.
The ceremony then turns to the birchot nisuin or wedding blessings. The sheva berachot (seven blessings) form the liturgical centerpiece of the wedding ceremony, reflecting the essence of Judaism from Creation to Redemption.
The Promise of Tikkun
The final act of the traditional wedding ceremony is shattering the glass, a custom with many interpretations, including to scare off demons who frequent celebrations, to bring revelers back to the reality of daily living, and to recall the destruction of the Temples in Jerusalem. It also reminds us of tikkun olam--that it is our task to repair this shattered world.
The Jewish wedding ceremony is far more than a mere "celebration in which two Jewish people declare their love for one another. It is Judaism in miniature--a cavalcade of Jewish meanings, images, theological notions, and historical memories.
Jeffrey K. Salkin is senior rabbi of The Community Synagogue, Port Washington, New York, and the author of several books on Jewish spirituality.
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