Should Chelsea Clinton have a Jewish wedding? What kind? Who should officiate?

[Edmund Case]

We know Chelsea Clinton probably is not looking for advice but we wondered, if you were asked, what you would say. Should Chelsea Clinton have a Jewish wedding? What kind? Who should officiate?

[Morti]

You know, why not stay out of her business?  She might be an ultra-liberal, but that doesn't mean you interfering liberals have to manage Clinton's wedding.  Basically, it's none of yours or ours or anyone's business.  Free to choose, free to choose as Uncle Miltie would say, and laissez-faire to you as well.  Sheesh!  Give the micro-managing opinionated moronic views a break.  

[Just some guy]

No matter what she choose - I hope our community opens our arms wide for her.

[Mitch]

Her business is not my business and I would like to comment in general.   I feel that a Rabbi should officiate interfaith weddings if the couple agrees to raise the children Jewish.   I understand that this generation is driven much more by biology and not so much by theology.  It also appears that this generation is a stand for individual moral autonomy and religion is often seen as a hindrance to their autonomy.   Yet if Judaism is a 4,000-year old tradition built on communal approaches to the religion, culture and shared history, then a commitment to raising Jewish children is our hope for a Jewish community in the future.   I believe that Rabbi Kerry Olitzky said that interfaith marriage is not the problem - not raising Jewish children is the problem.  I would have to agree.

[Judith Selakoff]

I believe that Chelsea and her fiancee should do whatever will make them happiest.  That's their decision and I wouldn't deign to express an opinion on it.  I do believe that rabbis should officiate at the interfaith weddings of any Jewish person who wants one regardless of whether the non-Jewish partner wants to convert or how they plan to raise any children they might have.  I know on a personal level that being told you can't be married in your own synagogue by your own rabbi, no matter how involved you have been in the life of that congregation, causes great harm that can distance that person from their community even while they remain committed to their Jewish identity.  The Jewish community needs to welcome anyone who wants to become a part of it at any level.  My wishes for Chelsea Clinton and her fiancee is that they will share a long, happy life together.

[Alicia]

How dare you ask for comments on someone else's relationship and what they should do! These are very personal matters and should be kept that way. SHOW SOME RESPECT!

[Hershl Hartman]

The ideal person to officiate at Chelsea's wedding -- should the couple wish a ceremony that incorporates both their heritages -- would be a Certified Secular Humanist Jewish vegvayzer/madrikh/Leader, as all of us are experienced in conducting intercultural ceremonies. (Though based in California, I've done so across the country, most recently in Miami, FL.) Should the couple prefer an ordained rabbi, there are a number of Humanistic Rabbis with similar experience. 

[Rebeccah]

I believe that Chelsea and her fiancee should do whatever will make them happiest.  That's their decision and I wouldn't deign to express an opinion on it.  I do believe that rabbis should officiate at the interfaith weddings of any Jewish person who wants one regardless of whether the non-Jewish partner wants to convert or how they plan to raise any children they might have.  I know on a personal level that being told you can't be married in your own synagogue by your own rabbi, no matter how involved you have been in the life of that congregation, causes great harm that can distance that person from their community even while they remain committed to their Jewish identity.  The Jewish community needs to welcome anyone who wants to become a part of it at any level.  My wishes for Chelsea Clinton and her fiancee is that they will share a long, happy life together.

I agree 100%.  My husband is not Jewish, and we could not be married in the Conservative synagogue of which I was a member and active participant, including reading torah regularly.  I realize that my rabbi was constricted in what he could do by his USCJ membership, but I also got the sense that he didn't personally feel he wanted to, and it did hurt my relationship with the congregation.  As it happens, we moved before we got married, and we found a Reform rabbi who was happy to do our ceremony, which we held in a community center.  It was a wonderful blending of Jewish and Hispanic traditions, but it was unquestionably a Jewish wedding, and I would not have had it any other way.  It was very important to me to have our union recognized symbolically by the Jewish community, by having a congregational rabbi (not someone who only officiates at life cycle events) perform the ceremony.

Rebeccah

[OS]

My opinion clearly does not fit the majority here - but nonetheless, all voices should be heard.
To begin with the entire matter is the private business of the couple - however, if you are opening this up for discussion - this cannot be a Jewish wedding - a Jewish wedding is one where both people are Jewish, either by birth or by choice.
Despite all the well-meaning comments here - the saddest thing that is happening to us, the Jewish people, is intermarriage and assimilation.
When the non-Jewish person has no desire to become Jewish, to join the Jewish people it does not bode well for us.  If not in the first generation, then in the second or third all contact with Judaism will cease.
There is no reason for the Jewish community to encourage this.  If you care about being Jewish then you marry a Jew - period - there is no other way to look at this issue.
And - no - I am not happy that Chelsea is marrying someone Jewish - in my mind this in not a cause for celebration at all.

[JC]

I am not Jewish and I am dating a Jewish man and I also agree that Chelsea and her Jewish Fiance should NOT have a Rabbi there to encourage this union. The only reason for this is that Jewish men are diverting rapidly from their culture. I have done lots of research on this topic , 3.5 yrs to be exact, thats how long I have been with my guy. Although I love and live with him, I do not agree that its OK to have two different faiths in the home. Either the man converts to her religion or lack therefore of, and/or the woman converts to the mans. The children will be the ones to suffer if this union is joined in matrimony. I would say the same for even one religion, like Christianity for example where my heritage comes in, my father was Protestant and my mother Catholic, they had struggles just within their own faith about which congregation to take children too etc. After the puppy dog love stage, reality kicks in, and the differences arent so romeo and Juliet anymore, it becomes something that each will feel hurt about.

Jenna

[Carolyn Lembeck]

As a mother of two daughters who are interfaith marrieds, I strongly urge everyone to respect the Clintons' privacy in this matter.  Only they can know what is right for them, and I would never presume to offer them advice.  Instead, I feel that we should be offering our congratulations and our blessings.

[Rabbi Laura Baum]

Chelsea Clinton's engagement has brought up intermarriage as a conversation in the media lately.  I think it is a personal decision for the two of them.
That said, thinking about interfaith marriage and the expectations for new couples is important.  Interfaith marriages may present challenges, but they also present opportunities.  I have blogged about these topics twice recently:
http://www.ourjewishcommunity.org/2010/03/09/will-chelsea-clinton-have-a-jewish-wedding/
and
http://www.ourjewishcommunity.org/2009/12/03/will-chelsea-clinton-convert-a-silly-conversation/
I am interested in your comments there as well.

[Rabbi Lester Frazin]

As a rabbi who has done interfaith weddings with other clergy for at least 25 years, I find tthat a ceremony can be constructed between the officiating clergy and the bride and groom that will delight and please both Jews and Christians. When I was young and inflexible I refused to do such weddings unless their was a conversion. We lost many couples and those who had converted often disappeared if the marriage failed. I have found in my career that you attract more people through compassionate acceptance than obstinate refusal.
However, it is not for me to suggest what kind of wedding for Chelsea and Mark. That is their private  decision.  Let us just send our blessings.
Rabbi Lester Frazin

[Abe]

The real question is will she have any Jewish wedding music at her wedding.

[AD]

I am not Jewish but have studied Judism for several reasons.  I agree with those who spoke against Jews marrying non-Jews.  I am likely preaching to the choir if you will but, Judism is not merely a religion.  This is not a Methodist marrying a Baptist.  Conversion is not as simple as it is sometimes made to appear - nor should it be.  Non-Jews who speak of conversion often do so in ignorance.   Converting from a Protestant religion (or Catholicism) to Judism is, to say the very least, a monumental change.  It is, essentially renouncing everything one has been taught & purported to honor.  I would hesitate to say that true conversion is impossible however, success would seem more logical when converting from no religion to Judism as opposed to converting from faithful Christianity to Judism.  You are God's chosen people - held in high esteem - blessed, honored & respected.   As a Gentile I am respectfully asking that you do not marry us.