My husband and I have an intercultural marriage (he's Caucasian American and I am Chinese raised in Hong Kong). We have a common Christian faith and the Book of Esther is very familiar to us. It appears that your marriage is a combination of interfaith and intercultural practices since Jews have varying levels of religious commitment. I resonate with what you mean by being an "imposter". After having spent over 30 years in the United States, sometimes I feel I am still not "American" enough. These intercultural experiences also led me to coach intermarried couples and bicultural professionals to enhance their relational and work satisfaction.
Coach Theresa Ip Froehlich
http://www.transitionslifecoaching.org